Situation - possible adoption? Or just strange? Advice!

Mom2Reese · January 2013

Late last night I received an email from a friend who had been contacted by a lady a her church who knows of a family with a very serious and urgent situation.

"A" is wanting to abort the baby she is pregnant with. Her family doctor has counseled with her and has asked her to be open about adoption before going forward with the abortion. "A" agreed to that.

"A" wanted to be contacted by text today. Then, wants to speak further about it tomorrow.

What steps should be taken legally before getting involved? Or does it sound weird?? I'm guarding my heart in this but don't want to close the door of a potential situation.

wither16 · January 2013

Randomly, this happened to us before. I contacted an attorney in our state to seek advice. From what I can tell- and my info is super limited to just what I learned- that you really could not hope to have this baby placed with you if you do not lareadyd have a homestudy in place, etc.

Now if you already have your homestudy, I don't know what the case would be there.

The way the attorney explained to us is that obviously a homestudy takes time, and if the baby were born prior to us being certified etc, the child would either stay with the BM or be a ward of the state. And neither of those situations would be ideal. Obviously if the BM kept baby, there is a chance she would want to parent, and dealing with the state (at least here) would not guarantee that we would get the child.

Anyways, I don't know if that helps at all, but I just know that came up and once I spoke with the attorney here, I felt like I understood it a little better. I am sure it varies state to state, so I would just encourage you to find a local adoption attorney and see what they say.

Mom2Reese · January 2013

Thank you so much for this information!

Julie721 · January 2013

From my own experience and other stories, I don't think it is weird at all. We did an attorney adoption, which tends to be situations like this one often. Depending on your state, you could work exclusively with an attorney instead of going through an agency if she decides to place with you. My first call would be to a local adoption attorney who could guide you through the situation.

I wouldn't worry about the situation going sour right now. Just be careful not to support her financially until that is worked out with an attorney. The attorney should also have someone (a counselor) who could speak with her. GL!

Julie721 · January 2013

oh and I should add that in CA, your home study can be completed AFTER placement as long as you both reside in state. I know it is different in other states, like PP said about her state. Just check for your state.

dholsapp · January 2013

If she is early enough along that she is still thinking abortion, then I would think you would have plenty of time to get a home study done. The situation doesn't sound to weird to me. Many people match with expectant parents through friends of friends. I would just go into it cautiously but I would definitely feel it out! Good luck! Keep us updated!