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Baby Showers
JordynLeighx3
member
Flamed by my friends!
JordynLeighx3
member
in Baby Showers
I just had to share this. So, I was hanging at a friends house with another friend of ours. Let's call them, Beth and Sarah.
We were discussing my shower this weekend and Beth, who got pregnant at 18, starts talking about when she has her next baby down the road and having a baby shower because she got rid of everything after her son. I asked her why she got rid of it when she planned on having more down the road. She then explained how she will need new stuff because her son will be at least 7 when she has another baby and if it's a girl, she can't use her old boy items.
I then went on to say, "you know most people only get a shower for their first baby. You should have kept all that stuff just in case. A shower is generally given to you to celebrate you becoming a new mom. Not to celebrate every new baby."
She then has a huge disagreement with me and looks over at Sarah and says,"if someone has a baby 7 years apart don't you think they should get another shower?" and Sarah's reply was,"Well typically you get another shower if there is an age gap or if you're now having the opposite sex."
Beth then looks at me and says,"see told you!"
I am in complete shock and just say,"if anything is given its usually a sprinkle where there is no big ticket items included" and Beth says,"well the least id want is a diaper shower..."
What the heck has the world come to. Why are people not taught proper ettiquite. And when I try to give them a little history, I'm made out to be the fool who knows nothing!
We were discussing my shower this weekend and Beth, who got pregnant at 18, starts talking about when she has her next baby down the road and having a baby shower because she got rid of everything after her son. I asked her why she got rid of it when she planned on having more down the road. She then explained how she will need new stuff because her son will be at least 7 when she has another baby and if it's a girl, she can't use her old boy items.
I then went on to say, "you know most people only get a shower for their first baby. You should have kept all that stuff just in case. A shower is generally given to you to celebrate you becoming a new mom. Not to celebrate every new baby."
She then has a huge disagreement with me and looks over at Sarah and says,"if someone has a baby 7 years apart don't you think they should get another shower?" and Sarah's reply was,"Well typically you get another shower if there is an age gap or if you're now having the opposite sex."
Beth then looks at me and says,"see told you!"
I am in complete shock and just say,"if anything is given its usually a sprinkle where there is no big ticket items included" and Beth says,"well the least id want is a diaper shower..."
What the heck has the world come to. Why are people not taught proper ettiquite. And when I try to give them a little history, I'm made out to be the fool who knows nothing!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Flamed by my friends!
Can't you see? Her decision to have another baby turns into a responsibility of everyone else. This is society, in general. Make decisions and hold everyone else accountable to provide. Just because Dumb and Dumber both happen to agree doesn't make it right.
BTW, I absolutely LOVE how ladies say "well, I got rid of everything from the first baby oh-so long ago ... but I'm only having a shower to celebrate the baby! Oh no, i'm not expecting gifts! But my first baby WAS a girl and i'm having a boy now, so ..."
Silly twats.
I had a friend brag about her sister's showere where they did a diaper raffle and the adress your own thank you card thing. She said she wanted to do the thank you card thing for her bridal shower and too bad they couldn't figure out how to do it for the wedding.
I bit my tongue but joked that they shouldn't let people eat until they had addressed their own thank you card. A little passive aggressive, but I don't think she got it.
Nowadays, "I want" seems to equal gimme, gimme, gimme!
I can kind of understand that she would need new stuff even if she kept all her son's things. Things like car seats expire. But having said that I don't get why she thinks all her friends and family should buy it for her. Part of having another baby is being financially responsible for said baby.
I never understood this whole "I CAN'T use boy stuff for a girl!!!" thing. I got hand me downs for DD from a friend of mine that had a boy and I didn't care. An extra set of clothes is nothing to sneeze at. Especially when they are really little and spit up on/poop all over their clothes.
Sorry your friend is such a twat OP.
Haha, no. I just can't follow people's stories when they use C and A in place of people's names. I need spelled out names.
I'm the same way!! I use full fake names. Not just letters.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Those of us with common sense and manners need to take a stand.
Decline invitations to these gift grabby events.
When no one (or only a couple people) show up for these things, THEN they will stop. And the mom can whine all she wants about how she got rid of her stuff, the baby is a different sex, or she has a different baby daddy, or the kids are X years apart, and it won't matter. Because no one is attending the gift grab and she is SOL.
Then and only then will common sense and good manners prevail.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
I mean, look-- are they wrong? Totally.
My guess that the views your friends have are based in ignorance. I am sure they are not horrible people-- they most likely genuinely don't know what is proper because they were never taught.
And either you were taught the proper etiquette, or you decided to teach yourself is the difference.
I find it's not so much my place to "teach" adults. If someone asks me my opinion I will tell it, but if I were in your situation I would probably just smile and nod.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Well, 2nd showers or not done in my family but my aunt ended up with an oppsie baby 17 years after her last one. She was not given a shower nor did she ever think she was going to get one. She bought what she needed for that baby that she couldn't reuse (crib, carseat, other things that had deteriorated). Of course we all brought her things after the baby was born...but more along the lines of clothes and diapers.
Personally I think it is gift grabby to have a shower for 2nd, 3rd, etc. babies even if there is a large gap, different baby daddy or different sex. Obviously if someone has a surprise shower for the MTB then that is a different story (I've gone to a couple).
This is exactly what we did. We bought everything gender neutral (besides clothes and some blankets). I've never understood how/why people feel like everyone owes it to them to buy their baby new stuff because they planned poorly.
As we in the south say, "Bless her heart!"
So sad that people have gotten so focused on material things. I am seeing this more and more and I just don't understand it. Be grateful for what you have.