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1st communion question - money grabbing event?

LogansmommieLogansmommie
in School-Aged Children
I am not catholic so I don't know about all the ettiquette involved with 1st communion.  My SIL just emailed me and our other SIL (who is also not catholic) to let us know that my niece's 1st communion with be next April and she is all excited about getting money so she can buy an Ipod touch or Ipad.  My first thought is, isn't she missing the point of the religious ceremony?  All she wants is the money?  And then I think, why is my SIL telling us about this now?  Is it so we are prepared to give her money for this?  It is not sitting very well with me and at this point I do not want to give her money for this.  I am sure we will be pressured by the rest of the family to give, but it all feels wrong to me.  So is 1st communion just a money grabbing event?  Is this just how it is or am I missing something? 
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Re: 1st communion question - money grabbing event?

  • Angela814Angela814 member
    I'm Catholic, and I would be very put off by that too. 1st communion is supposed to be about the sacrament, not an excuse to get money. The money our kids got at their baptisms went into their bank accounts/college accounts.
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
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  • 2Gma2Gma member

    I was raised Catholic.  1st communion is a big deal in the catholic church and for the children who now get to participate in the sacrament.  Because they are usually around 2nd grade when this happens they are too young too really understand the significance of the event (hence your nieces excitment over her party and impending gifts)  Usually it is celebrated among family members and some people offer a small religious or monetary gift but I wouldn't say its expected.

    I'm hoping that your SIL just came off wrong when speaking to you about it and that she is really teaching her DD the importance of it.  Telling your now about an April event is quite far in advance IMO but perhaps she really wanted you all there and typically churches line these things up far in advance.  Some of my family was lutheran and presbyterian but still came and watched me participate in my 1st communion.

    DD#1 5 years DD#2 3 years
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member

    Yeah -- your SIL is being crass and a money-grubber.  That's really foul.

    However, it is still an important moment, and you don't want to punish your niece for her mom's rudeness.

    I'd buy her a savings bond instead of giving cash.  

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • smilejennsmilejenn member
    imageneverblushed:

    Yeah -- your SIL is being crass and a money-grubber.  That's really foul.

    However, it is still an important moment, and you don't want to punish your niece for her mom's rudeness.

    I'd buy her a savings bond instead of giving cash.  

     

    Ditto the above advice. I'm Catholic and First Communion is a big event. I personally would always purchase a gift for my niece and nephew, but instead of a toy I would make it a gift that has the potential for a long lifespan. (ie an initital pendant from a quality jewelry store) But if I didn't go with a tangible gift, I would absolutely go with a savings bond over cash. As an adult, I'm so grateful for the bonds I received (and saved) from family members growing up vs cash I would have spent at the time.

    Hawaii
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    I'm pretty late to the post, but I agree with the PP too! (and yes, I'm also Catholic)  It's the SIL in question that's the issue not the niece...  IMO, that'd be a tip off that niece is NOT going to get cash for her First Communion!!!  I'd instead opt for a nice piece of jewelry (First Communion is really a transition such that it's the first of the ages of being able to give them "real" jewelry instead of the kiddie or cheapie jewelry) or stock...
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  • JulieMarie21JulieMarie21 member

    imageMesmrEwe:
    I'm pretty late to the post, but I agree with the PP too! (and yes, I'm also Catholic)  It's the SIL in question that's the issue not the niece...  IMO, that'd be a tip off that niece is NOT going to get cash for her First Communion!!!  I'd instead opt for a nice piece of jewelry (First Communion is really a transition such that it's the first of the ages of being able to give them "real" jewelry instead of the kiddie or cheapie jewelry) or stock...

    excuse me for lurking. I still have and wear the gold cross and chain that my aunt got me 20 years ago for my first communion. 

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  • lawry13lawry13 member
    My nephews made their 1st communion last year.  My sister told my sister and I (we were planning on getting savings bonds) that the kids would prefer an iTunes gift card.  One nephew was already in 4th grade.  I was so put off with this, thinking it is a religious event that I bought them children's bibles instead.
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  • semdkmsemdkm
    Ditto Angela's post.
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  • VampirsteinVampirstein member
    Lurker here. For my first communion I was not aware of getting any money. I got a teddy bear dressed in a communion outfit, and my first real rosary (not the plastic ones), and I think a bottle for holy water. There are tons of little photo frames and statuettes, such as the precious moments series, that would make great gifts, but I would not give money or itunes cards, especially after requests like that. 
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