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Baby Showers
Melanieian
member
Shower? Husband's first child, my 3rd
Melanieian
member
in Baby Showers
This is my 3rd child. My DS is 15 and I had a shower with him, then my DD is almost 6, I also had a shower with her being they are almost 10 yrs apart. I did not keep ANY baby stuff from my daughter, I gave it all away. I thought I was done having children. Then I got remarried and he doesn't have any children so we decided to have one. So this is his first child and my 3rd but none of my children are close together. So my question is, do I have a full shower or none at all?
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Re: Shower? Husband's first child, my 3rd
If someone from DH's side offers, I think it's fine to have a shower since its his first and his family might want to celebrate. I wouldn't invite anyone other than your mom/sisters/grandmas from your side though, super close immediate family only. If no one from his side offers, you don't get to have one.
It's no one's fault that you didn't save anything from your second child, that's not an argument for having a third shower.
I agree w/ all of this.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
We are perfectly capable of getting everything we need for our baby, that is not the point of having a shower. The point is they want us to have a shower, his family and mine and my close friends. I am from the South where this is normal also. They want to get things for the baby, some of them already have.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Because it is not right to continually ask your friends and family to buy you gifts for each child you have if they have been invited to consecutive showers for you. Since it is your husband's first child, it would be ok to have a small shower/sprinkle for just HIS side only.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
What part of the South are you in? I'm in Georgia and have never heard of anyone in real life having a shower for a second-time Mom, let alone a third-timer.
Yuck, and NO.
Y'all, please do not judge me by this "from the South" business. Ug.
OP, if this is "normal" where you are, why are you even asking us? I don't post to ask about things when I am certain they are customary. If third showers are The Done Thing for your set, you must be pot-stirring with this post. Either that or you are going on the offensive against our reasonable, sound advice. And so I wonder again, why did you bother to ask if you already know the answer?
Same here. I've been to ONE shower for a second baby. She's my (3rd) cousin, she got married to the best man from her first wedding and she wore the huge white dress with train when she was 7 months knocked up to the new guy. So she's not exactly the beacon of classiness.
What's with this "south" crap anyway? I'd love to know where she's from, because apparently it isn't Atlanta or Eastern Tennessee.
OP, if someone offers to throw you (because they want you to have one so badly) then do what you want. Surely, being from the south (::eyeroll::), you wouldn't have such deplorable manners as to throw your own shower. It's pretty rude. But you knew that...you're just looking for justification.
OP, if you want to follow traditional etiquette, please do not have a baby shower. Traditional etiquette states that a baby shower is to welcome a woman into motherhood; you are already a mother. Showers are not a party for the baby-- as usually they occur before the baby's birth. If you would like to celebrate the birth of your husband's first baby, host a "welcome baby" party after your LO is born.
That being said-- you know what is acceptable in your circle. IF second (and third) showers are commonly part of your regional etiquette, and someone offers to host, go for it.
edited to fix spelling
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
OP, you are 8 weeks pregnant accoridng to your ticker. Congrats! Now is not the time to think of showers. Now is the time to take it one day at a time. When you worry about physical stuff for baby remind yourself that you have a lot of time to figure it out.
Even with people offering, you should hold off setting the date for the shower until you're a little further along. Say to your MIL, "Thank you so much for the offer. It's a little soon for me to track down my schedule. How about we talk about this on :::date:::?".
Like I said before it is not about the gifts it is about getting together and celebrating this precious life we are having, which seems to not be the concern on this board, but anyway I think your idea sounds really cute. A BBQ and make a manly gathering.
Seriously?? You get all that from a few sentences? Why in the world would I throw my own shower? All I was trying to find out, plan and simple, a general idea of how others felt about it. Not get attacked
I want a party that no one has yet offered to throw my for my 3rd baby although it's still the size of a poppyseed! But it's for the baby that won't even be there! No I don't want gifts because I can provide everything on my own!
Have a sip and see or a bbq if the aforementioned is not what you were trying to say.
You do realize how much that would infuriate my family and friends to be left out of something that had to do with my life and my child. I come from and extremely close family and that would not go over well with them.
This!
And to your other post- you say you just want to celebrate the baby, it's not about the gifts. SOOOOO - why did you tell us that you got rid of everything and have nothing if it's "not about the gifts"?
I'm not attacking YOU - I'm attacking these ideas. We see this stuff here all the time. "It's not about the gifts!!!!!". O.k., if it's not about the gifts, then don't have a shower. Because that is waht a shower is absolutely about - "showering" you w/ gifts.
As suggested, throw a "meet the baby" party AFTER the baby is born if it's really about the baby! What's the point of a party about "the baby" if the baby isn't actually here?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I kinda thought the baby shower board was the place to ask, clearly I was wrong. I have not made excuses my, OP stated how old my children were that I no longer had baby things, that's it. Like I said I was just asking for other opinions, what is so wrong with that? I did not come here to have an internet fight, good Lord I do have other things to worry about then this, as we all do. I apologize if my inital post didn't include everything it should. I'm kinda new to this board so I am sorry if my posting is improper. I am NOT planing a shower for myself I would NEVER do that! But I also can't see turning down one from his family that also would include my family because this is their first grand baby. We are 8 weeks pregnant and we have been married 3 months, so I am not comfortable telling my MIL no at this point. No dates have been discussed, she just threw it out there. As far as the South goes, yes that is the norm where I live, that doesn't mean it is the norm where you live. I just wanted unbiased opinions, so again I apologize for asking. I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day. I think I'll go share my happy news from dr appt today with 1st Tri board. Thanks for listening!
1) It's not quite a GBCB, but I do smell a DD coming; and,
2) OP, does this mean you just confirmed your pregnancy TODAY? Why are you already worrying about a shower? Even talking about a shower at 8 weeks along is majorly AWish. Yuck yuck yuck.
I'm sorry but what does GBCB mean? I looked on the glossary but I didn't see it.
No I did not confirm my pregnancy today. I confirmed my pregnancy 3 weeks ago.
Trust me, you won't hear shower come out of my mouth again. And I am tired of defending why I asked in the first place. It doesn't matter, none of it matters.
GBCB = Goodbye Cruel Bump.
On the confirmation question, maybe I was mistaken. What I should have said is "does this mean you had your first doctor's appointment today?"
I guess I just can't relate to posting shower questions so early on. I can honestly say I did not even wonder about a shower for this baby (my first) until I was at least five months along. I mean, when I came home from my 8-week appointment, I thought stuff like, "Wow. A heartbeat on the ultrasound! Amazing. Am I really ready for this? When should we tell people? I wonder if it's a boy or a girl!"
Parties were far, far, far from my mind. I'm not saying my way is the One and Only Way, but I can't relate to being concerned about a party so early on.
My advice on the shower remains the same: don't invite the same people to three showers unless you are certain it's customary. And if you are certain it's customary, don't ask us for our opinions, because they don't matter if you're going to follow an established custom.
Oh okay...I'm not going anywhere and I'm not deleting my post. I will just no longer post about showers because clearly it's not working out. LOL
Thanks for your pleasant response, much appreciated. I really was just asking about it because it was already brought up by MIL and either on 1st Tri board or Aug 2013 Moms someone asked a question about a shower and I thought well I'm kinda bored right now so I'll ask my ? on the baby shower board. No harm no foul.
Maybe you didn't read my last post....clearly you do not know me at all to assume what I will or won't do. I have not, nor will I mention shower anywhere but in this post. BUT how is what I post on other boards any concern of yours???? Geez I have never seen a board so full of rudeness
Thank you for the clarification and yes I am an idiot. I own it, I am so dumb I want others to purchase all of my babies items for me because I am a loser and can't afford or refuse to supply my child's needs and I am solely going to depend on family and friends to do that for me. I hope that makes you all feel better.
I offered to have a shower for my sister. She has two kids, my niece (her youngest at that time was 10yrs old) She remarried and her H also didn't have any kids. We didn't see anything wrong with giving her a shower. GL!
It's my third baby and my husbands first and I'm not even sure that the pee is totally dry on the stick yet, but both my previous kids are soooo old that despite the fact that I had not one, but two showers already, I have absolutely nothing left from either one of them. I mean, not that I want people to buy me anything, I can buy my own stuff, but geeze, I have NOTHING left.
It's totally normal in my social circle for people to have a shower for each child, but I'm wondering if it's ok? I mean, it happens all the time and is totally socially acceptable, but I need validation from people I've never met that don't live by me that it's ok. Even if it's not ok, I'm going to make it ok in my mind and tell you all that you are the rude ones and you don't know my lyfe, so just spare us all the dramz and just agree with me, kthx.
I mean, come on guys, let's be real. Everyone I know has already bought stuff for my baby or have told me that they are just dying with anticipation to spend money on me and they are all fighting and falling all over each other offering to throw me a shower, so I mean, it's totally cool that I let them do that, right? I don't know how they could wake up in the morning if I didn't let them throw me a shower. What, keep the guest list small? My family would totes disown me if I didn't allow them to come to a party where they could fawn all over me and buy me lots and lots of stuff---not that I need their stuff, I can totes buy my own stuff, but they all want to celebrate me!
I guess you guys are just jealous that no one sits around and dreams of ways to celebrate you. Haterz.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
MrsNorry I miss you on PgAL! The board is lacking in the snark and realistic answer department. Cora is beautiful by the way!!
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
Since you said you really don't need others to buy you things for the baby (although some already have) it might be a good idea to have a BabyQue after the baby is born. We hosted our own meet the baby party for our 2nd and 3rd babies, but you could certainly have your MIL host if if she wants to. It is usually co-ed and more a party than a shower...but many people bring gifts even though it is not called a shower. Your relatives on both sides would love to see the baby. If you are concerned people will want to hold him/her just wear the baby. People won't ask to "hold the baby" if you are wearing him/her.
BTW...proper etiquette says not to invite the same people to different showers except the grandmas, but you can invite anyone and everyone to a BabyQue (plus I love the name - wish I had thought of it when we had ours!). lol
Idea is great. Thumbs up all the way. The name sucks and it sounds like babies are on the lunch menu. Thumbs down. WAY down.
Love, Love, Love this idea!!! Thanks a bunch!