Really hard hypothetical question for second time moms (or more)....

AshleyHJ · January 2013

I have been thinking a lot lately about what decision I would want my husband to make if things went wrong during L&D and he had to decide between saving the baby or me (awful, I know). With my first child, I would have said save the baby hands down. However, this time around, I find myself torn. I can't imagine leaving behind my daughter and a newborn but I also feel like a horrible mom for not immediately thinking save the baby. No judgements at all, as I don't think there is a "right" answer, but what would you do? Have you discussed this with your husband?

MermaidNM · January 2013

The decision for us was always save me. Same decision now.

sillypit · January 2013

Me, my daughter needs her mother. And yes, this is an awful question and I hope none of us ever has to face it.

JCRSMD17 · January 2013

FTM here but DH and I talked about it pretty extensively before writing up our living wills and power of attorney documents. Priority is saving me over baby if DH had to choose and it was an either/or situation.

CanuckFan03 · January 2013

RootBeerFloat29:
Me, my daughter needs her mother. And yes, this is an awful question and I hope none of us ever has to face it.

This.

burkems · January 2013

I am living in a fantasy world. This had not even crossed my mind. I will be talking to my husband tonight, and hope that we are on the same page or can get there.

thediarywithin · January 2013

I personally have never talked to my husband about that. I would though want him to save me. I know our belief that says that a baby/child that small would be with God and we would be able to see him/her again.

mdcs09 · January 2013

My husband has told me since long before I was pregnant that no matter what he will always choose to save me over baby. thats a hard thought for me but he feels we can always have another child but he couldn't find another me

AshleyHJ · January 2013

nola78:

I was forced to deliver my son at 21 weeks due to a severe infection that had me nearly septic by the time I arrived at the hospital. My body had already recognized this and I was in labor, but - if I hadn't been - we would have been forced to induce. As it was, I was still put on a high dose of Pitocin and delivered within 6 hours of setting foot in the hospital. This was done to hopefully save my uterus (luckily it worked). Eventually the infection would also have killed my son (even without inducing), but I probably would have died by that point. I sometimes wonder how a hospital that priortized baby over mother (or refused to speed labor along since it was after 20 weeks) would have handled this situation?

I am so sorry that you had to go through that - how heartbreaking. I am so glad that you recovered and are able to have another child.

And thank you to everyone for sharing your opinions. It certainly is a complex decision and one I pray my husband will never have to make.

warriorwoman87 · January 2013

burkems:
I am living in a fantasy world. This had not even crossed my mind. I will be talking to my husband tonight, and hope that we are on the same page or can get there.

Oh my gosh. Totally this. I haven't even thought of it until now.

caymarks · January 2013

This is my 2nd and I've never thought about it until I read this.

wjv · January 2013

burkems:
I am living in a fantasy world. This had not even crossed my mind. I will be talking to my husband tonight, and hope that we are on the same page or can get there.

Yep. Me too!

NinaBeana87 · January 2013

warriorwoman87:
burkems:
I am living in a fantasy world. This had not even crossed my mind. I will be talking to my husband tonight, and hope that we are on the same page or can get there.
Oh my gosh. Totally this. I haven't even thought of it until now.

Me either!!!! Never even crossed my mind. But I know my dh would say to save me for the same reason as pps.

MrsJ723 · January 2013

caymarks:
This is my 2nd and I've never thought about it until I read this.

Me either!

Pumpkin_Princess · January 2013

mdcs09:
My husband has told me since long before I was pregnant that no matter what he will always choose to save me over baby. thats a hard thought for me but he feels we can always have another child but he couldn't find another me

This. I say save the baby, but he would choose me no matter what.

Mama-Bear · January 2013

We agreed to save me over baby when I was pg with our twins. This is not our baby and everyone is in agreement that my life comes first.

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Really hard hypothetical question for second time moms (or more)....

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