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Dads & Dads-to-be
jhawg
member
Trying To Conceive
jhawg
member
My wife and I are trying to conceive and we have been for roughly 6 months. At what point do you start to wonder "is something wrong with me?" Are those feelings normal? At what point does a couple start to seek medical advice if it just isnt happening naturally? I'm just worried that something could be wrong with me, and who knows, maybe i'm just worrying too much. Maybe i've got my hopes up to much in trying to get pregnant so fast. Open to all advice!
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Re: Trying To Conceive
I've generally heard that 12 months is when you should start seeking medical advice. In perfect conditions you only have like a 20% chance of conceiving each month. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.
If she isn't already, your wife could start charting her cycles. That should help you pinpoint when to take care of business. I'm sure there are things she could do to help, but I don't know personally know them. You could post on the Trying to Get Pregnant board or maybe some other guys know.
For you, switch to boxers. No baths or hot tubs. Don't set a laptop on your lap.
if you're 35 & older, you can go seek medical help. Under 35, they wont see you until you've been trying for a year. It took one couple I know 8 months to conceive and they are in their late 20s.
Does your wife have a general idea of what her cycles are like?
No caffeine, drink orange juice...My DH and I have recently started to TTC. Everyone keeps telling me not to stress that you won't conceive if your stressed. Each time we aren't successful it is a little disappointing, but we've not been at it as long as y'all. Will pray for y'all. I've been told 20% and 1 year by my ob good luck!
For us, we found out that I had to control myself during her high fertility periods and that seems to work well for us.
We tried for roughly 18 months with the last 6 months being the most active. I wouldn't worry until you have tried actively for a year or so.
As the previous posts have said, pretty much no fertility doctor is going to be concerned until after the 1 year mark.
Some couples have no trouble at all, for others it is a bit more work. I don't have a whole lot of experience with long conception times as my wife and I haven't had to go beyond the 2nd cycle on any of our 3 pregnancies so far.
Do you know if your wife has ever been diagnosed with PCOS? It could potentially lead to issues getting pregnant, but there are medicines that are prescribed that can help as well.
If you are even slightly concerned about your ability to conceive, I would avoid as many factors as possible, such as hot tubs.
Hang in there bud, it will happen.
It took us a few months before the wife was pregnant, but I did do a few things to help.
Only boxers, no bikram (hot) yoga, sauna or steam rooms (I use to do all of these a lot), cut back on caffeine, cut back on masturbation and try to eliminate stress.
It will happen!
6 months is nothing. My fertility specialist even said that the hot tub thing is a farce. That once it would get too hot for your sperm to survive, you'd already be too hot and get out anyhow. If you are concerned, I just wouldn't do a hot tub the week she is ovulating.
Read the book "taking charge of your fertility". This will help you know the exact day she is ovulating and then you just need to time sex the day before, of and after. Naturally, you'll want to have sex when she is ovulating. It's those damn hormones.
I think the #'s are that 80% of couples will get pregnant within 1 year of trying.
Unless you or your wife have anything like ED or she has irregular cycles, most docs will make you wait a year. Then they will start different tests to try and discover if there are reasons for the infertility. Sometimes, it's not anything bad. With me and MH nothing was really wrong. All the tests were normal but on the low side. All those low readings just added up to TTTC. We tried for 2 years to get pregnant, but an IUI was successful.
Both of you are going to go through the, "what's wrong with me" and "it's all my fault" feelings. Friends, family, doctors will tell you to relax and it just makes you feel worse. All I can say is that if you are really devoted/interested to getting pregnant, get in touch with a good fertility doctor. Push the doctor to do some of the preliminary tests before the year mark. (Some tests must be done on certain days of your wife's cycle, so it could take 2 or 3 months just to complete a test or 2.).
Nothing I or anyone else says is really going to make you feel better. Each month is an agony of waiting and disappointment. But a plan for the future, the knowledge that you're not sitting around waiting for fate to "bless" you, gives you a sense of control. Good luck!
Just keep charting. Sounds like you guys are on top of it.
Try to stay relaxed and keep the pressure down. The two times we have gotten pregnant I was on vacation and work was not raping me. Being relaxed goes a long way.
On Monday I start a new job with a great company. I look forward to the raping to end....