On the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Re: On the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

• mylittlesunshine member

  January 2013

  Hang in there! My DH works two jobs and is gone until 8:30/9pm every night and also works every other weekend from 7-5:30/6pm. . And I also work FT M-F. I am by myself about 98% of the time and ahve NO familiy in the area. Our money is also extremely tight as DH as over 100k in student loans, plus we have a mortgage.

  I remember feeling overwhelmed (heck, I still do). I don't go to the gym...ever, because how in the world am I supposed to go after work when I have two kids to feed (DD2 is also nursing), bath and then bedtime starts at my home at 6:30 for DD2.

  I think it is hard right now, because of the weather being cold and it being hard to get out a lot. When it gets nice out, go for walks and be outside. Up until a few months ago, I had no girlfriends. I finally met another mom who has two girls almost the same ages as my girls. Her husband works with my husband. So we started getting together while our husbands were at work on the weekends. Another thing, is maybe see about doing a playdate with another mom from your son's daycare to do things with.

  As far as how your son is acting. My DD1 acts differently for me as well. She listens way more for DH than she does for me. We have really started coming down with consequences for not listening. It took awhile to figure out this method works for her, but once we figured it out, I can usually get her to listen. Bed time was always a struggle for me. Now, if she puts up a fight, I start taking away things she likes to do; Like only reading one bedtime story instead of two.

  Lastly, it sounds like what might benefit you is going to see someone to talk to about your feelings. I had PPD with DD1 and I found by going to a therapist really helped me learn how to cope and let me process how I felt with someone other than DH or my family. I even went while I was pregnant with DD2 and once or twice after DD2 was born.  

  "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
  Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
  Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
  

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• Erinmmo member

  January 2013

  Being a mommy is so hard sometimes especially if you are mostly by yourself.  Our daughter just turned two in October also and I have been posting a lot lately because she is testing me mostly!  My husband works every weekend and I hate it because we have no family around, my friends all live pretty far but have 3 kids to our 1 and they are just so busy that they dont even call anymore. And now that it is cold it SUCKS!!  No park or walks- so we go to IKEA, stores, and such but she is starting to act out so I get stressed every time we go out!  And like you said every night is the same. 

  Plus we all co-sleep so I am in bed at 8 or 8:30 everynight bc if I stay up late I will be exhausted the next day.  My husband and I use to start going out at that time! UGH

  I try to have a glass of wine here and there to relax, or invite friends over for drinks and dinner but it seems like everyone is so busy!!!  And I try to plan at least one thing a month to do just so I have something to look forward to- I have a great babysitter- do you have someone that you could call so you could get out now and then?

  And when we do go to friends houses with our daughter- all I do is chase her around their house- the bigger the house the less I see my friends- last time I spent almost an hour in my friends walk in closet because my daughter just wanted to play in there while they all ate their dinner.  And she climbed the stairs over and over and over...... 

  We love them more than anything yet its draining at times and overwhelming.  I just keep saying to myself think positive and try to enjoy the best moments and take deep breaths with the difficult ones. 

  You are not alone and there are a lot of us going through similar feelings too! 

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• Crystal318 member

  January 2013

  Thank you both for your replies and your advice. It helps to know other people are going through the same thing. Do either one of you live in GA by chance? I do think hanging out with other moms who have similar situations would help a lot! Hang in there and I will try to too!!

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• candlequeen member

  January 2013

  Crystal318:

  Thank you both for your replies and your advice. It helps to know other people are going through the same thing. Do either one of you live in GA by chance? I do think hanging out with other moms who have similar situations would help a lot! Hang in there and I will try to too!!

  Where in GA are you? I live in Macon (south of ATL). I feel overwhelmed at times too and I'm nervous about adding another child to the mix! This will be our last child.

  

  
  

   

  

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• Crystal318 member

  January 2013

  candlequeen:

  Crystal318:

  Thank you both for your replies and your advice. It helps to know other people are going through the same thing. Do either one of you live in GA by chance? I do think hanging out with other moms who have similar situations would help a lot! Hang in there and I will try to too!!

  Where in GA are you? I live in Macon (south of ATL). I feel overwhelmed at times too and I'm nervous about adding another child to the mix! This will be our last child.

  I live North of Atlanta (Acworth/kennesaw area). I cant imagine having another child. In a way I think it might help entertain my LO and keep him busy but in another way I think it would send me over the edge!

  Good luck to you!  I give you lots of credit!

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• 1026pumpkin member

  January 2013

  Hang in there, mama!  It's hard and they definitely love to test you!  Have you tried checking on meetup or another local resource for a working mom's group?  Maybe you could set up afterwork playdates/dinners together....misery loves company!  BUt seriously, at least other moms will totally understand the position you're in and be sympathetic to kids running around and the struggle to get dinner on the table.  Also talk with DH- could he give you the evening off on Thursday when he doesn't work so that you could maybe go out with friends, go to a movie, etc. and just have some time to recharge yourself?  Maybe also see if your Dad would be willing to babysit and give you guys 1-2 standing date nights each month?  Or maybe use a personal day every other month or every few months and just play hooky for the day.

  ;

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• countrymice06 member

  January 2013

  I haven't read all the responses, but DH and I are in the same opposite work situation.  We don't have family in this part of the country either.I hate it to the point where I had a talk with my DH just before Christmas and basically said he needed to seriously ask himself about what is more important to him- his job or his family.   I am sure that isn't going to be popular on here, but the fact is that I do not want to live my life working 9 hour workdays, sitting up to 2 hours a day in traffic, to come home to an empty house forever and ever.  I mean, if it were a short term thing or something... I sometimes think of military wives, but honest to God, even THAT has an end date. It isn't any way to live life.  

   

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• acaudill75 member

  January 2013

  I used to live in Acworth when I was a kid! Down the street from Lake Altoona.

  I'm right there with you. I have no family that can help me, and they all live less than an hour from me ... DH will work off duties at night twice a week, and I'm the only one who can drive the girls to school and pick them up. I leave the house at 7 in the morning, get home about 5 in the afternoon, and spend the next 2.5 hours dealing with them, usually on my own. Even when DH is home, I do most of the work. I rarely ever get to eat dinner, and consequently have lost 18 lbs from where I was at prepregnancy. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing ...

  Aside from being tired and overwhelmed, you sound depressed and anxious. We all get overwhelmed from time to time, even without the stressors you are dealing with all on your own. I would definitely look into talking to someone (religious, psychiatric, whatever you feel comfortable with), and possibly look into meds that will help you keep on an even keel until things are more manageable (do they ever get that way?) Definitely try to locate some other mothers to talk to, and do one thing every day just for yourself. Don't worry about the extra "flab" or if LO gets a bath. You will all survive, even if it doesn't feel that way at the time. And the next time DH is at home, leave LO with him and go enjoy yourself, even if just for a couple of hours! I doubt if it is still there, but in downtown Acworth there used to be an ice cream shop that made the best lemon ice cream I have ever tasted. Go and see if it is still there, have some, and let me know what you think!

  

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• Crystal318 member

  January 2013

  acaudill75:

  I used to live in Acworth when I was a kid! Down the street from Lake Altoona.

  I'm right there with you. I have no family that can help me, and they all live less than an hour from me ... DH will work off duties at night twice a week, and I'm the only one who can drive the girls to school and pick them up. I leave the house at 7 in the morning, get home about 5 in the afternoon, and spend the next 2.5 hours dealing with them, usually on my own. Even when DH is home, I do most of the work. I rarely ever get to eat dinner, and consequently have lost 18 lbs from where I was at prepregnancy. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing ...

  Aside from being tired and overwhelmed, you sound depressed and anxious. We all get overwhelmed from time to time, even without the stressors you are dealing with all on your own. I would definitely look into talking to someone (religious, psychiatric, whatever you feel comfortable with), and possibly look into meds that will help you keep on an even keel until things are more manageable (do they ever get that way?) Definitely try to locate some other mothers to talk to, and do one thing every day just for yourself. Don't worry about the extra "flab" or if LO gets a bath. You will all survive, even if it doesn't feel that way at the time. And the next time DH is at home, leave LO with him and go enjoy yourself, even if just for a couple of hours! I doubt if it is still there, but in downtown Acworth there used to be an ice cream shop that made the best lemon ice cream I have ever tasted. Go and see if it is still there, have some, and let me know what you think!

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• Crystal318 member

  January 2013

  Crystal318:

  acaudill75:

  I used to live in Acworth when I was a kid! Down the street from Lake Altoona.

  I'm right there with you. I have no family that can help me, and they all live less than an hour from me ... DH will work off duties at night twice a week, and I'm the only one who can drive the girls to school and pick them up. I leave the house at 7 in the morning, get home about 5 in the afternoon, and spend the next 2.5 hours dealing with them, usually on my own. Even when DH is home, I do most of the work. I rarely ever get to eat dinner, and consequently have lost 18 lbs from where I was at prepregnancy. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing ...

  Aside from being tired and overwhelmed, you sound depressed and anxious. We all get overwhelmed from time to time, even without the stressors you are dealing with all on your own. I would definitely look into talking to someone (religious, psychiatric, whatever you feel comfortable with), and possibly look into meds that will help you keep on an even keel until things are more manageable (do they ever get that way?) Definitely try to locate some other mothers to talk to, and do one thing every day just for yourself. Don't worry about the extra "flab" or if LO gets a bath. You will all survive, even if it doesn't feel that way at the time. And the next time DH is at home, leave LO with him and go enjoy yourself, even if just for a couple of hours! I doubt if it is still there, but in downtown Acworth there used to be an ice cream shop that made the best lemon ice cream I have ever tasted. Go and see if it is still there, have some, and let me know what you think!

  Sorry, I tried to respond earlier but my computer is whacked out! So, I assume you lived off Kellogg Creek right? I live within 5 minutes of there! Thanks for you advice and I will check out the Ice Cream shop

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• jamiekendall member

  January 2013

  I cannot speak highly enough of Meetup and the moms I met at Gymboree. What a lifesaver!!! I am a WAHM and our daughter's primary caregiver, and it is just so nice to share and spill with other moms. I feel like it keeps me sane.

   We all struggle with motherhood, and you are certainly not alone. Hang in there, mama, and know that it will get better.

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