Home birth story for our baby Wade

StefandTodd · January 2013

I made dinner plans with friends for Monday (12/10) night ? two days after my due date. At the time, I was so sure that baby boy would be born beforehand, I didn?t even bother to let my husband know. That morning, my girlfriend texted me to find out if I was still up for dinner, and if so where we were headed. My DH asked if I was sure I was up for dinner, and I told him that seeing as how it could very well be the last time I got out of the house to visit girlfriends without a nursing baby on my chest for quite some time, I really wanted to go.

It was about an hour into our dinner when I noticed that the cramping I was feeling in my lower belly was getting more and more uncomfortable, and coming and going in a little bit of a pattern. It actually took me a bit to realize they were contractions, but when I realized it, I definitely knew the baby was coming soon. This was about 7pm or so, and what I think of as my ?start of labor.? I sent a text to my DH around 9pm, ?Tonight is the night, love. I?m pretty sure of it.?

Around 10pm, I got home and decided that I should send a quick message to my doula, my midwives, and my aunt (who would be coming to help with DS) letting them know that I was heading to bed but felt pretty sure that I?d be up soon to have this baby.

At 4am, I awoke to contractions feeling grateful for the rest I was able (and hadn?t expected) to get, and also thankful that this meant DS would be able to go to daycare on this day and would be happily distracted and out of the house when his brother was born (or so I thought!). My aunt texted me around this time to ask if she should head over, and I told her to take her time, that DS would go to school that day and so she could just be there whenever was best for her.

At 5:20, DS woke up (DH had just gotten up to shower), and I went into his room and rocked him for a bit, singing him a silly song about his daddy during the contractions I had, and trying to burn the image of him into my mind forever. Our last snuggle before he became a big brother!

Around 6, I started to get DS ready for the day. I was just finishing up getting him dressed when I had a really intense contraction that required me to turn away from DS and really focus. We got breakfast on the table for him, and while he was eating, I had another contraction. I had just texted my doula and midwife that they were 10+ mins apart when they started coming closer together. I even told DH I was a little afraid to be left alone at that point. He had planned to go to the grocery store, take DS to daycare, and stop by his work to get his laptop. He decided to just do the grocery store and daycare only, and skip work, since I was having more consistent contractions and starting to get so anxious and nervous.

After they left, I took a shower. I was also trying to time contractions so I had some something to share with my midwives about my ?progress,? but I found myself getting super frustrated that they were so sporadic. After I showered, I actually laid down to nap with DS's Sleep Sheep playing ocean noises in the background, and I didn?t wake up to another contraction for 38 minutes.

I got up and decided to do some baking. I baked a cranberry crisp that I ended up devouring in the days following Wade?s birth. Then we decided we should take a walk. We walked a levee loop (a little over a mile, probably), and I had three contractions while we were walking, all intense enough I had to stop walking and hang on DH's shoulders to get through them.

We were almost home when I said how much pressure I was feeling. And I may have told our neighbor, who DH had stopped to chat with, that we were definitely having a baby ?today,? as I dragged my very friendly husband away. I was not in any position to stand in one spot chatting with neighbors.

We got home around 10:30 and my aunt was at the house. My doula was in the area, and asked if she could stop by just to check on how I was doing. She helped me get through a couple contractions, showed me some positions to get in that might help labor progress, and told me to make some sort of plans for the day ? lunch, a pedicure, anything but sitting around timing contractions. She then left. DH suggested we go to Whole Foods for lunch and then he and my aunt started to chat for a bit while I sat nearby listening, dusting our bookshelves (hello nesting!), and then focusing through my contractions. Around 11:20, sitting and listening to DH and my aunt chat, I felt a contraction come on that I was having a hard time managing. I literally jumped off my chair, hurried to our hallway, and dropped to all fours. I could feel myself trying to almost ?escape? the contraction, so I knew I was progressing. I interrupted their conversation to tell them that we better leave quick if we were going to lunch or I was going to be in Whole Foods on all fours.

I said I needed to quickly change into jeans and my aunt said I should stay in sweats. I laughed and told her, ?I?m about to be having contractions in public, while wearing a Depends diaper (which I?d put on in case my water broke)??wearing actual pants is the least I can do to maintain some dignity.? We left for lunch.

In the parking lot of Whole Foods, around noon, I sat in the car waiting for the coming and going of a contraction. Then we got up and went inside to get our food. At the counter, I had another contraction. I had to hang on DH and moan into his shoulder to get through them, so they were intensifying. I said I was going to sit down at a table and had a contraction on the way. I suddenly decided I wanted the bathroom instead, and had a contraction on the way. My aunt actually followed me into the bathroom and forgot to lock the door ? pretty sure I traumatized the man who walked in on me, mid-contraction, with jeans around my knees and Depends diaper on. At the time though, I didn?t actually care too much.

We sat down to eat lunch and I had contractions about every 4-5 minutes through lunch. We all agreed it was time to call the doula and midwives for real. We headed home. Contractions stayed at 5 (or less) minutes from then on, so we just stopped timing them and called everyone.

My doula arrived around 1:40. She hung out with me, talked with me between contractions, helped me manage the contractions I was having, and was generally just an awesome and completely necessary presence for me.

The midwives arrived about 2:45pm and checked the baby on doppler. He sounded great, and they asked about mucous plug (had been losing it all morning), bloody show (none really), bag of waters (still in tact). They started to set up the tub at about 3:10 and asked me to labor on the toilet and describe what I?m feeling with contractions. I struggled to describe it and after a couple contractions I asked to please be off the toilet. My midwife asked me why and I told her I really just wanted to bury my face in pillows through contractions, so she said okay. It was about 3:20.

DH left about 3:15 to get DS from daycare. We were starting to worry about our 6 pm daycare deadline, and I got a little anxiety thinking of my aunt picking him up, despite that being our plan. He?s never been picked up by anyone but me and DH and I worried about his reaction. So DH went to get him early. I told him to please hurry. After a bit, my doula asked me if I wanted to get into the tub and I told her I wanted to wait until things got much harder. I was saving it as my ?last resort? for comfort. And though the contractions were intense, the breaks were so great that I felt okay enough to stay out of the tub for a bit. I also kept saying, ?I love the breaks?thank you for the breaks.?

I was very relieved when DH returned, at about 4pm. I got through a contraction and wanted to go say hello to DS. He was sitting on the couch watching TV. I kissed him, brought him over his favorite book?when I felt a contraction coming on, I moved to the opposite side of the couch as him, got on all fours and moaned through it. My doula met me on the floor and encouraged me to focus, and then asked again if I was ready for the tub. I said, ?sure, okay,? but still thought it was a bit early.

I walked back to my room (where the tub was), and used the bathroom. While on the toilet, I suddenly felt my body do a push while contracting. I was completley surprised that I was feeling ?pushy? already, but no one else seemed surprised in the least. I got into the tub at about 4:20.

I felt my body pushing involuntarily with every contraction. My midwife asked me if I was afraid to push, and I told her that I was afraid to trust my body. This was because I wanted to be complete and pushing so badly in my head that I was afraid I might be letting my head and not my body take over. The next 5 or so contractions were incredibly hard though. DS#1 had come fast once I was complete, so I expected pushing baby #2 out to be a breeze. But with every push, I felt nothing but INTENSE pressure. Really, really intense. I could not feel him budge at all despite pushing with the contractions as hard as I could, and I didn?t remember having to work nearly as hard with DS#1 as I was working for this baby to get far more progress.

My midwives reminded me that because my bag of waters was in tact, it was going to be harder and I would feel more pressure than with DS#1. From prior conversations with them, I knew they wouldn?t break my water. I tried to just mentally be okay with it. But the pressure was very intense.

I felt like I was in the tub for hours and like 30 contractions. It was only when talking to my midwife the next day that I realized I was only in the tub for about 35 minutes and 6-7 or so contractions. It felt like so much longer. Definitely the hardest part of my entire labor.

At one point in the tub, my midwife asked me to stand up and have a contraction while standing. She was trying to let gravity help me break the bag of water, but it wasn?t happening.

At 4:55, they asked me to move to my bed. According to them and my doula, I was insistent that the baby wasn?t moving, no progress was being made. My instincts were telling me that what we were doing was not working. So I moved to my bed and laid on my back. My midwife asked to check me (which was the first time of my pregnancy) and said I was definitely complete, and the bag of water was bulging. She encouraged me to push hard on my next contraction.

My water broke on the next contraction, with me pushing. I INSTANTLY (it was completely nuts!) felt him move lower. My midwife asked if I wanted back in the tub, but I did not want to move at all and just felt ready to push a baby out. The next contraction, my midwife said, ?He has dark hair!? He was out within a couple more contractions, arriving at 5:12pm, just 17 min after I got out of the tub. It was so different than with DS#1 in that I was so SO aware of everything going on. I felt his head coming, and felt when it was out?I do not remember any of that with DS#1, so it was pretty neat. My doula recorded an amazing video of his birth, which we treasure.

He was 7 lb 2oz, 20? long, dark hair, and he had a true knot in his very long cord. Interestingly, my midwife thinks that had my water broken much earlier, contractions might have compressed that knot and made his heart rate concerning during monitoring. Sort of helps me to think that my body had a reason for that 30 minutes of pushing hell that got me nowhere and inhibited the water birth I?d hoped for!

I delivered the placenta (another thing I don?t remember with DS#1, but remember vividly with DS#2) about 30 min later. I had no tearing and very little bleeding. I got up to use the bathroom after an hour or so, then got back in bed to nurse my new baby.

DH went out to the kitchen and my aunt was shocked to learn I?d just had the baby, less than an hour after visiting with them in our family room. DS #1 was eating raviolis my aunt had made for him. When he finished dinner, he came back to see us. He was very interested in the baby (who was being weighed and measured at this point), but also a bit possessive of me. DH gave him his normal nightly bath, and I got up to help him get into his PJ?s. I said goodnight to him and DH put him to bed while I got back in my bed with the baby. Once our big boy was asleep, DH, Baby Wade, and I snuggled in bed for a bit and turned out the lights for sleep around 9:30. Completely awesome experience welcoming my new awesome little boy into the world.

Congratulations mamas, and good luck with your upcoming births!

pantherRN · January 2013

Great story! Congratulations mama

sbevmc09 · January 2013

Great story! I love how you were able to combine your labor with a lot of normal everyday things like walking and going to lunch. That's so cool! Congrats, mama!

OSibyl · January 2013

congrats! I love a good birth story!

MoparWife67 · January 2013

Oh thank you for sharing! This was awesome!!

andrea3122 · January 2013

Congratulations! What a great story.

NoeK · January 2013

Beautiful story! Congrats!

danuli8 · January 2013

Wow, what a great birth story! Congratulations!

robyn2201 · January 2013

I had been looking forward to reading your story since I saw that your little guy had arrived! Wonderful birth story! Congratulations!

Celyn · January 2013

Thanks for sharing, Stef. I was having a good chuckle over your description of the WF trip. I had a client once decide she needed her daily latte when she was already in very active labor, so she started to transition in a Starbucks