An unexpected trigger

Bayberry12 · January 2013

Of course all the holiday and family stuff gets to me and small babies and pregnant women still make me uncomfortable. But the other night something different hit me out of nowhere.

DH and I drive by a dance studio and I only saw a split second of a little girl with with pink tights, a black leotard, and her hair up in a bun. A perfect little ballerina. It brought me right back to my anatomy ultrasound, when we found out we were having a girl. The tech said "it's a girl, and you better sign her up for dance classes because she is kicking up a storm."

That sight just made me think of one more thing I will never see my little girl do. It's so easy to get knocked back out of nowhere.

Williamandshawnna · January 2013

HUGE HUGS

I find moments like that to be the worst. I often find myself thinking of events and milestones that I imagined being at with our 3. It just sucks.

jbranden12 · January 2013

((hugs)) I think triggers like this will pop up unexpectedly for the rest of our lives. Even if Patricia's baby sister lives and gets to fulfill this dream, I will always be sad that she was unable to.

meli1025 · January 2013

Big ((HUGS)). We have a dance studio close to my house and I walk by it every time I go into town. I've had the same exact feeling about my little girl. It sucks so bad. I hate this for all of us.

lolee465 · January 2013

Big ((hugs)) I think those little unexpected triggers hurt the most. It kills me to think of all the things I should be doing with Jillian.

DH told me that he was working in the warehouse at his work, and someone's 6-ish year old girl was skipping around and singing. He was telling me because he's the manager and kids aren't allowed in the warehouse so he had to reprimand his employee..I immediately started sobbing. I won't be able to watch my girl skipping around happy and singing.

jess123456 · January 2013

I agree this is total "suckage" - I am big into made up words.

It's crazy how some triggers set me off and others don't. When they do they, I am totally knocked down.

Bayberry12 · January 2013

I knew you ladies would understand. Just when you think you are doing ok, it's like wow...my heart is broken and things will never be the same or the way you thought they would be.
Hugs to all of you.

jrebele · January 2013

(((HUGS)))

It definitely is those unexpected triggers that are devastating. You know there are certain things that will set you off and so when you know that you are going to be in a situation that you are around those things you can mentally preparte but when they come out of nowhere it seems to hurt the most.

cherrycobbler · January 2013

big (hugs)

I was hit out of the blue earlier this month at a wedding with something I wouldn't have thought of in a hundred years. The groom and mother of the groom dance. I did not see that one coming. I saw them up there dancing and so happy and I realized - I'm never going to have that chance with Robin. Pretty sure I looked pretty pathetic sitting outside among the smokers crying into my glass of wine (didn't even want my husband to know). And I'm also pretty sure the amount of wine I was consuming had something to do with it, but man, slap in the face.