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Attachment Parenting
MagickalNarwhal
member
Cousin! Stop with the guilt trip!
MagickalNarwhal
member
I consider myself attachement-parent-lite. My cousin is VERY AP. She has repeatedly told me that daycare harms children IRREPARABLY FOR LIFE. She just posted another article like that on FB and I want to scream! I SAH but am SO SICK of her judgment of working moms.
Her husband has a 6 figure salary btw that comes at the price of never seeing his kids, but I guess that's OK because her kids didn't have to be SRSLY INJURED by TEH DREADED DAYCARE?
Gross. Just had to vent. So sick of the not-AP-enough judgment out there.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Cousin! Stop with the guilt trip!
I want my child to be in daycare. It's not the only way obviously, but the amount of daily interaction that they get with their peers from being in a daycare is so good for them to develop a wide range of skills. I will have to go back to work, and right now we are trying to find a sitter who takes a few kids so that she will have that interaction.
I said that too! Her response was that "socialization" was vastly overrated for younger babies. I said, "he really enjoys it," and she replied that it shoudl happen "in the context of the maternal-child bond".
Oy. I can't win so I'm not engaging. That's why it's nice to vent
Im this way with some of my pro-BFing friends. None of it is aimed at me, but my lord. I didnt want to use formula and dont need a daily picture/article breaking down all it's demons.
Im fully aware, thanks.
I'd have to disagree... I've worked with many kids who have not had socialization. They often have a range of difficulties. There have been studies (I don't have them but at a Kindergarten workshop I was at it was discussed at length) that a better predictor of math scores in grade 8 is how well they get along with others in grade 3 than their grades in math at that point.
I'd LOVE to be able to be a SAHM...and I know that socialization can take many forms...but to me, Daycare is a very valuable option. In my particular circumstance, once I go back to work when DD is 1 y/o, I'd much rather she be with other kids.
I am glad I am not FB friends with this person - this would totally stress me out! I would love to be a SAHM and possibly even homeschool - at least partially, involved in a co-op or something awesome and trendy like that. But no dice. Life doesn't always give ya whatcha want. I am, instead, a single mom who will be going at this 100% alone. I don't have to put my baby in daycare (and rip my heart out, might I add) because I can't survive on one income. I have to do it because I can't survive on NO income (lol).
I'd just ignore her. You could use the same logic about kids raised in bad neighborhoods, or raised without two parents, etc, etc. There are plenty of upstanding, well-rounded human beings who have emerged from all sorts of backgrounds. IMO, daycare isn't ideal by any means, but for me, it's a necessity. *shrug*
I don't know why people are like this. Seriously, why does anyone care if a kid is in daycare or on formula or homeschooled? Do what's right for your family and mind your own business.
Also, if all women were SAHMs DD wouldn't have been delivered by my doctor, or cared for by all of the kind nurses, or monitored by her pedi because they're all women and moms.
She's definitely not aiming it at me, so I'm not taking it personally, but even if it's not aimed at me I still feel like it affects me as a mom when other moms agressivley criticize parenting choices. Just like as a white person it chaps me when people make racist comments.
The other part that was particularly upsetting was a commenter that said, "oh thanks, I know a woman who WILLINGLY left her young child in day care and I've been trying to find a gentle way to tell her that she's harming her child. This is helpful." SRSLY? Because telling a mom that she's HARMING her child is such a gentle thing to do, and totally something any mom would be thrilled about!
Wow. Your cousin sounds like a real fun person! (cue sarcasm)
Must be nice to have all the answers and be the perfect parent......
I get really irritated when people get up on their high horse about something that they've not had to make any sacrifices for. Like being a SAHM when your husband has a fantastic salary and then judging those moms who work, because 'if you want to make it work, you will'.
I'd love to be a SAHM, but it'll involve some serious lifestyle changes and a lot of sacrifices and even then I don't know whether it'll be doable. So yeah for now, I work and DD goes to an in-home daycare that has a family vibe which is a good compromise at the moment.
I wonder if there isn't an article out there you could post on her wall that shows you can be an AP working mom. And the benefits of such.
Signed,
An AP working mom
I understand how frustrating it can be when others impose their opinions on you as facts. However, if she didn't post this article on your facebook page, then what's the big deal? Just stop reading her facebook page.
Really, it's not worth stressing yourself over. You have such happy things to think about, like how well socialized your child will be due to all the positive interaction he/she will get at daycare. Let her be her self-righteous all by herself!