Working Moms
JellyTwoPointO
member
TTC since Aug 2011. BFP #1 on 10/28/2011 EDD of 07/02/2012 Natural MC on 11/22/2012 BFP #2 on 10/28/2012 EDD of 7/13/13 Judah Ari born on 7/11/13.
I love my rainbow baby!
Options
Pregnant and looking for wisdom on daycare vs nanny?
JellyTwoPointO
member
in Working Moms
Hi Ladies!
I've never posted on this board before. I'm pg with what will hopefully be our first and be our rainbow baby. I've been told by people in my area (Northern Indiana, by Notre Dame) to begin looking for daycare now because the better places fill up quickly and there could be waiting lists. Do DH and I have started to talk about care for our baby while we're both at work. But last night, I started to think about the option of a nanny.
Can anyone speak to their experiences with both? See, I'm hoping to practice much of the attachment parenting lifestyle and ideally, I want my baby in cloth diapers 100% of the time, and I've been concerned that the larger, more "corporate" style day cares will be too big to give specific attention to individual babies. Yet with nannies, I worry about trust and abuse and some of those horror stories you can hear about.
So, I was just wondering if some of you could speak to the pros and cons of day care, nannies, cost, etc etc.... I'm a FTM and very naive to all of this. Thank you so much!
I've never posted on this board before. I'm pg with what will hopefully be our first and be our rainbow baby. I've been told by people in my area (Northern Indiana, by Notre Dame) to begin looking for daycare now because the better places fill up quickly and there could be waiting lists. Do DH and I have started to talk about care for our baby while we're both at work. But last night, I started to think about the option of a nanny.
Can anyone speak to their experiences with both? See, I'm hoping to practice much of the attachment parenting lifestyle and ideally, I want my baby in cloth diapers 100% of the time, and I've been concerned that the larger, more "corporate" style day cares will be too big to give specific attention to individual babies. Yet with nannies, I worry about trust and abuse and some of those horror stories you can hear about.
So, I was just wondering if some of you could speak to the pros and cons of day care, nannies, cost, etc etc.... I'm a FTM and very naive to all of this. Thank you so much!
TTC since Aug 2011. BFP #1 on 10/28/2011 EDD of 07/02/2012 Natural MC on 11/22/2012 BFP #2 on 10/28/2012 EDD of 7/13/13 Judah Ari born on 7/11/13.
I love my rainbow baby!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Pregnant and looking for wisdom on daycare vs nanny?
I can't speak to nannies, as we've never had one. I have the same concerns as you, and I just would not feel comfortable leaving DS with an individual with no accountability and no way to know what was going on during the day. Perhaps I'd feel comfortable if we had a nanny cam.
I don't like that they don't get much individual attention at a center. Our center is great, and I love them, but there are times when a baby is crying and the teachers are busy (feeding or changing a diaper) and they can't get there right away. They're good about trying to talk to the baby, but they can't always pick them up to soothe them. I don't think this did any long-term damage to my son. I'm happy we went the daycare route, especially now that he's older and is interacting with the other kids more.
We've done both. It's SOO individual that it's hard to give someone else any advice. Plus, a lot really depends on your particular daycare or your particular nanny!
We had DD in a "nice", larger-size locally owned daycare center until she was almost 2; until our son was born. After that, we switched to a nanny. A lot of people on this board really love their daycare but I was never thrilled with ours, so this will likely be different from many other opinions. I was starting to be much more okay with it just about when we pulled her. After 1.5 years of age or so I think there are more "benefits" to the daycare environment.
At our daycare, although it was the best in our area, we had TONS of staff turnover and different people coming in and out, we had several unexplained minor injuries (2 or 3 bite marks, big bruise on forehead under bangs), and we had a real problem with illness. I know everyone says it builds immunity and what not, but our life was really impacted during DD's first year by a constant round of illnesses, coupled with DD's tendency to get croup whenever she got a respiratory illness of any sort (we'd be up all night; 2 ER visits and on hospital admission). I also didn't like the limited amount of outdoor time they got, especially in summer.
Here's why we like having a nanny now:
DH's schedule is crazy and he works a lot of super long hours. Any time I needed to stay late at work or attend an evening event, it was a huge problem with daycare. With a nanny, we can easily arrange coverage--way less stress for us. It also removed the stress for me of getting to pick-up on time. 5:45 was the latest you could pick up and I could barely make it if I left work RIGHT at 5:00. In short, with our schedules and commutes, the flexibility of a nanny is GREAT. We also (with our arrangement) pay for fewer days on which we don't need care.
No packing the kids up in the a.m. or packing lunches, etc!
WAY less illness.
For all of us! Less stomach flu for the whole family!
My kids get to spend time together (not a factor for you now).
My kids get more outdoor time and some outings.
Nanny can do kid laundry, towels, etc, be at our house for service people, etc--this is also a HUGE time saver and stress reliever for me.
In our particular situation, I don't know how we would do it now w/out a nanny, but if you have one child and live close to daycare, daycare might be just fine for you. Good luck with your decision!
We did find a daycare center that would do cloth diapers. It was an important priority for us. However, I will tell you - we use prefolds and covers at home, and I would recommend investing in a set of all-in-one diapers that are super easy for the daycare workers to use. I found it was really hard to communicate with all the employees there (she had her diaper changed several times throughout the day by several different staff people) and it was difficult to explain the specifics of how to fold the prefolds to all the staff. If I were doing it again, I'd use all-in-ones. (we switched our daughter for location reasons to an in-home daycare when she was about 10 months and decided to just use disposables at daycare at that point - she is so squirmy at that age it was a huge effort for the babysitter to do the cloth.)
I agree with PP - our baby does not get individualized attention, not one on one all day, is occasionally left to cry instead of comforted, etc, but that is pretty much what we expect at a daycare. There are no long term negative effects and plenty of kids go to daycare and turn out a-okay. Nannies are great too, it just isn't in our price range.... also as she gets older I'm happy for her to have interaction with other kids.
Also - don't forget that you have options besides corporate daycare and a nanny. You could use an in home daycare, a nanny-share, etc.
It really is an individual choice and I think there are some pros and cons to both. We didn't consider DC because we felt that a nanny was a better fit for our family. I wanted DS to have individual attention as an infant. I wanted him to be in his own environment with his own toys, napping in his own crib. I don't have to worry about packing up his things every night, and shuffling him out the door every morning. If DH and I are running late at work, it's not a problem. The nanny can stay a little later until we get home. DS is not constantly sick. I wanted someone to follow my directions, rather than me accommodating DC rules. She does his laundry and keeps his room tidy. She speaks Spanish, so he is learning another language. She also does light housework while he naps, which is nice.
I was also nervous about leaving him with a stranger (we found her on care.com), but we felt very comfortable with her when we met her. Even more importantly, she received rave reviews from her prior families. They loved her and she has been wonderful with DS. They adore each other. She's been with our family since DS was 4 months old and I can't imagine things without her. Now that DS is older, she takes him to the park, the library, Gymboree and on playdates. He gets plenty of social interaction. I'd say cons of a nanny are cost (we're in a HCOL area and it's expensive to have a nanny) and needing back-up when she's sick. Before MIL retired, DH and I had to wing it when the nanny was sick. Now, we have MIL for back-up.
I initially thought we'd eventually transition to DC when DS got a bit older, but we love having a nanny. We're also TTC #2, so it makes even more sense for us to keep her.
We went with a nanny for a lot of reasons...
1. I was worried about illness with our DD. Asthma runs in my family, and I've watched a cold turn into much worse with my nieces and nephews. DD was born 4 weeks early during the H1N1 outbreak in 2009. I wanted to be careful during her first winter.
2. DH travels a lot and his schedule is unpredictable. It's nice not to worry about drop off and pick up by myself.
3 DD is enrolled in all kinds of activities during the week. No wy we could jam music, dance, swim, tennis, gymnastics in on Saturdays.
4. Nanny does light housekeeping, DD's laundry, errands if I'm stuck and need it.
5. No packing, very little prep. If DD doesn't feel well, I don't have to drag her out of bed - he can sleep a little. Also, our nanny will care for DD when she's sick, so I don't burn time off if DD has a random fever (but still seems ok - if she's really sick I stay home).
Overall, having a nanny has worked out really well for us. We've had some bumps in the road - one nanny walked out, another didn't work out, but we've worked out things like last-minute back-up if she's out sick, etc., so things are running pretty smoothly now (knock wood - lol!).
Good luck!!!
We cloth diaper and send DS to daycare full time. We send a medium wet bag and 4 pocket diapers each day. Whatever you do, do not ask them on the phone if they will CD. Instead, when you go to interview, take a pocket with you so they can see it is just like a disposable in how easy they are to put on and take off. Otherwise, they will think you are doing prefolds and they will have to dunk them in the toilet or something.
I never feel like babies are left to cry at DS's center. The ratio in my state is 3:1 and since the infant room babies are all on different schedules, it seems like someone is almost always sleeping so the ratio of awake babies to teachers is even better. DS's teachers are also miracle workers in being able to get him to nap, which he won't do at home. I think the "peer pressure" of seeing the other babies sleeping helps him a lot too. All of the babies always seem content doing what they are doing or are being attended to. I think once you go to a center and see it for yourself, that would calm any fears there, assuming it's a good center.
DS, May 2011
We were never interested in a nanny, because we do have huge trust issues and felt better with the oversight and regulation of a daycare center. And socialization was a big thing for us too. Even at 14 months, my youngest definitely enjoys playing with the other babies.
I agree that a daycare isn't going to be able to abide by "AP" standards. But daycares aren't cold places where babies are left to cry on the floor by themselves for hours. It's rare that all of the babies are crying at the same time, so someone is always available to comfort a crying baby. I have no doubt that my baby's needs are being met, in much the same way that I meet them at home (you know, sometimes I do have to set him down for a minute, and he might have to whine for me until I'm done and can pick him up again).
That said, you have to do what is best for your family.
And that said - I'm actually in the same exact area as you are. We use a daycare center in the city that we have been very happy with. If you're serious about looking into daycares in the area, I'd be happy to recommend ours. I don't know if they accept cloth diapers though. I'll pm you my email, since I don't get here very often.
We've done both - in-home nanny care, and a daycare center. Some of your assumptions are inaccurate. We are much happier with our daycare center, which is not "corporate" at all. It is a family-run business with 5 locations, and they are wonderful. But, we were happy with our nanny, too. The difference for us is that the center offers from babyhood-on an academic enrichment curriculum, homemade food served family style, art and music, outside play twice per day and more in the summer, socializing with other children of diverse cultures and backgrounds...just so much stuff that a nanny, in my opinion, could not provide. Costs totally depend on the region/city you live in, but we pay $55 per day per child, this includes two snacks, lunch and milk.