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February 2012 Moms
MrMrsandBaby
member
NBR - Do I even acknowledge this?
MrMrsandBaby
member
So DH and I have planned Allison's birthday party for Feb 16th. The day I told my parents, my older sister was there and said that she was planning her LO's baptism for the same weekend (remember my, "why do you baptize if you dont' go to chuch" post - that is where it came from.)
So I'm a little annoyed by this. First, she NEVER attends church. I think she has been there once in the last two years. Second, her LO won't even be three months old yet and I got the side eye for doing it when Allison was three months. Third, I sort of feel like she should change the date rather than us doing this stuff on the same weekend. The same people will be invited to both and I think it is a little...odd?...if we both do ours on the same weekend. Allison's birthday is on Saturday and the baptism would be Sunday, but still...it's strange right?
And here is another little wrinkle: 2/16 is the day her first LO was born. He died at three months due to a heart issue. So I'm a little worried that she will bring that up at Allison's birthday party. In all fairness, I forgot that was his birthday (but in the interest of full disclosure, so did my sister).
This could be so much longer if I don't stop now...just wondering what you all think? We can't (and wouldn't have anyway) change the date because MIL is flying in for the party. Do you think it is strange if she does the baptism the next day? Should I say/do anything for the "memory" birthday?
Ug...family...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR - Do I even acknowledge this?
Last June, my sister had my niece's bday party on Saturday and we had Asher's dedication at our church on Sunday. It just happened that way. Our church only does dedications twice a year and I didn't want to wait until the fall and my sister had to do my nieces party on that day because the venue where she wanted to have it only had that date open. It wasn't a big deal and it was actually kind of nice to get everything done that weekend instead of having two big events on two back to back weekends. So I don't think it's a huge deal at all.
As far as the "memory" birthday, do you do anything normally for your sister? I probably wouldn't say anything at Allison's party but maybe something privately to your sister or give her a card to let her know that you're thinking about her.
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I personally don't see the issue with two events being on the same weekend. It's just busy weekend with alot of family time.
I would defintely put your focus on your daughters day and celebration. And maybe pull her aside at the event and give her some kinds words of support. Let her know you are thinking of her and the baby. But your daughters party shouldn't be a pity party event for her either.
I don't think she should be judged for "forgetting" the day. I'm sure she thinks of that precious baby every single day from the moment she opens her eyes to the time she closes them. I'm sure if I lost my son I'd want to forget that day and just remember the good times.
Personally, if I were a family member I would prefer it this way. I don't know how many people live in your immediate vicinity, but if I had to travel 30 minutes or more to both I would prefer them on the same weekend and just get a hotel. I don't think that one would take away from the other.
Two years ago we had my cousin's bridal shower and other cousin's baby shower back to back on Easter weekend so everyone could travel once. It all turned out great.
I think that having Allison's birthday party and that baby dedication in the same weekend is NBD. Two separate events, two separate kids. I wouldn't blink at it.
As for the "memory birthday"... it doesn't sound like it's something that you guys do anything for anyway, so I wouldn't do anything about it. Especially not at Allison's birthday party. If it's something you'd do something for, then I'd do it at a different time and place that day. Allison's birthday party should only be about Allison.
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Nah...the distance isn't an issue...we all live in the same town and it takes 5 minutes to get from one side to the other. So no travel involved except for MIL.
Maybe I'm just in the minority then...I would be annoyed if my cousin had a thing for her kid and the next day her brother had one for his (that is a lot of gift-giving in a short time period!).
Thanks for the perspective!
Hmm... we don't give gifts for baby dedications/baptisms around here. That doesn't change my pp though.
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