The little things are hard, vent

precious72381 · December 2012

Nothing about this is easy but the littlest things are so hard. Ever have a pet put to sleep then need to come home and clean up the toys and bowls. I feel like I'm doing that. I finally threw away my collection of positive pregnancy tests. I never knew why I was saving them but I used to love seeing them in the bathroom each morning. Since I did Ivf third cycle I have pictures of the embryo and ultrasound picture of the transfer and also the first ultrasound picture at 6w4d. I waited to get rid of it and now just want to put it in a safe place. I didn't start reading any of the books I bought three years ago when we first were TTC but they sit on my nightstand. I received my welcome to pregnancy packet from my insurance company the same day I found out we lost the baby and need to throw that away but I don't want to see it or touch it. Deleting the apps on my phone was sad but then still receiving emails was even more depressing, trying to figure out how to unsubscribe from them. Just venting but it is those little things, maybe not so little, that seems like a big kicker while already down!

PeachyBella · December 2012

Completely agree. The last thing I did before I left work on Thursday confirming apt was Fri morning was delete all the favorites/bookmarks I'd set on my computer to baby info and pages. I knew that would sting when I came back and turned on my PC.

Also, trying to decide what to do about my waiting list entry for our work daycare, where it is notoriously hard to get a spot. Thinking maybe I'll just leave my name on the list and try not to think about it for a few months. Ugh.

annatta79 · December 2012

I'm with you. I just finally got the bump to stop telling me how pregnant I am! It was a punch every time I got on the site. I'm new at this, but I'm guessing it gets better.

blue_elle · December 2012

Those little reminders are hard. I couldn't bring myself to dispose of the U/S pics, so I put them away in a box with other memories. Just a couple days ago I got a welcome kit for expecting parents from Publix baby club and it was very sad. I don't know yet if I'll unsubscribe, I'm hopeful a successful pregnancy is soon to come, but in the meantime those mailings are a reminder of a future that isn't to be yet.

belle4304 · December 2012

The day I got the bad news I immediately went home and packed up everything. I had maternity clothes already and books and an ultrasound picture. I also deleted all apps on my phone, balling the whole time I was doing it and at the same time not believing the that days ultrasound was correct. We had seen the baby 2 weeks prior and everything was perfect, I just couldn't believe things could go so wrong so quick!

precious72381 · December 2012

Update: just pulled the tests out of the trash and took everything, ultrasound pics, hospital bracelet from DandC, insurance welcome book and placed in a shoe box. Labeled it with important dates and hid it in a closet. It made me sad but also feel a little better. Part of moving on but never forgetting. Taking it day by day and sometimes minute by minute. Hope everyone is finding their way to deal!

blue_elle · December 2012

precious72381:
Update: just pulled the tests out of the trash and took everything, ultrasound pics, hospital bracelet from DandC, insurance welcome book and placed in a shoe box. Labeled it with important dates and hid it in a closet. It made me sad but also feel a little better. Part of moving on but never forgetting. Taking it day by day and sometimes minute by minute. Hope everyone is finding their way to deal!

I'm glad this helped. I think it's a very personal decision whether to keep things like this or not, but for me it is a part of who I am now and a part of mine and DH's history. I don't want to look at it every day, but that was our baby, even for a short time, and it was loved.

precious72381 · December 2012

I'm glad this helped. I think it's a very personal decision whether to keep things like this or not, but for me it is a part of who I am now and a part of mine and DH's history. I don't want to look at it every day, but that was our baby, even for a short time, and it was loved.

I completely agree! I feel better about the decision to keep this part of my life.

MamaFantastic · December 2012

that IS hard... you have every reason in the world to be sad. i'm so sorry.

i found out my cousin is expecting, and we would have been due within a week or two of each other. it's hard counting back and thinking... i could have been 19 weeks along right now and finding out the sex... or 11 weeks and just starting to show. it just sucks.

precious72381 · December 2012

It is so stupid but all the celebrities announcing they are pg now that I would have shared due dates with! Not the same as a cousin. Although my due date is exactly one year after my cousin's second baby was born. I hope your cousin understands what you have been through and gives you the support you need! I have a cousin's wedding to go to in March and was so excited to buy a dress to show off my 5 month bump and now I just have to hope I can lose some weight and fit into a cute dress that shows my curves instead, of course right now I want to wear my pjs and hope I wash my hair that day! One day at a time!

skeppler1 · January 2013

It is the little things that hurt, but in the end they will make us stronger. I am glad that you were able to find some kind of closure. We should never forget the pain as it will make us more grateful.

(((HUGS)))

The little things are hard, vent

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