What did you learn this year?

CashewsMommy · December 2012

So as 2012 comes to a close, what did you learn this year?

It could be TTC related. AL related. Friends, family, work, school, life in general related.

I learned that FF stops counting your CD's on your chart after day 181.

I also learned that sometimes IL's are just not worth your time.

I learned that people, finally, no longer look sad when I say Aurora's name.

I learned that when your best friend couple is heading down the road of no longer being together, it is okay to take a step back. Especially when your DH starts defending the male, and you start defending the female.. and their dysfunctional relationship starts getting in the way of your own.

LSzwaya · December 2012

I've learned that you WILL be passed by other people. That things happen easier for other people but it doesn't mean that you deserve them less. I have learned that I am a completely different person today than I was this day in 2011 and it is okay if my relationships have changed. I have such a deeper appreciation for my MIL's grief over the loss of her son and realize now just how fuckingstrong she really is. I've learned you have to live in the moment and NOT in the plan.

Most importantly, I have learned that even though it feels like everyone IRL has forgotten my lost babies, that you guys never will.

So many hugs and so much love to all of you ladies. 2013 HAS to be better.

buckeyebaby814 · December 2012

Cashews- I noticed that about your chart... I was confused and thought you'd finally had CD 1!

As for what I've learned this year...

1. MH and I will likely never be parents... to anyone other than our dogs that is!

2. While watching my two SILs give birth to my nieces and nephews around an EDD of my own, the bitterness I felt has finally left and I love my niece and nephew so much and celebrate their lives!

3. In relation to #1, while we're still TTC although not too seriously, I've finally accepted this and MH and I have been much happier as a result. I still get annoyed with "OMG I'm totes 3.5 wks preggo!" posts on fb, but when I get upset I'm able to remember and think about what we have as a couple and are able to do when we're not spending $1000s on IF treatments.

KGS2003 · December 2012

I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing.

I learn this over and over every year! Even the most detailed and best intentioned plans may not work out like you wanted them too. I have learned to accept this and not dwell on what I cannot fix.

I have learned to slow down and not spread myself so thin. A few good quality times with some one are so much better than a bunch of rushed visits that you don't have time for and end up not enjoying.

funny bunny · December 2012

I learned that 5 BFP's in one year do not equal a baby.

I learned that being there for someone through their biggest struggle whole-heartedly will not guarantee reciprocation.

I learned that my MIL had multiple late losses that made my heart break for her.

I learned how to grieve privately.

I learned how to keep hoping even through the toughest moments life has presented me with.

I learned things about my body, I never knew.

I learned once again, that Internet 'strangers' can be there for you more then some people IRL.

RedPhoenix625 · December 2012

I've learned that when my mom always used to tell me, "Life isn't fair," she wasn't lying.

I've learned that things can always get worse.

I've learned that I don't have as much control over my life as I used to think I did.

I've learned that sometimes, the most supportive people are the ones you'd never guess would be. And that sometimes, the people you expect to be there will disappear.

I've learned that I can take a lot of crap.

I've learned that people can be dealing with a lot of crap themselves and I might never know.

I've learned that I'm not alone in this, and that I lurve you guys.

[Deleted User] · December 2012

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millejj1 · December 2012

I learned a lot this year:

I learned that what goes around does come around and I'm finally starting to be recognized for the years I've been busting my tail at work. Our new GM is leaning on my hard, but also is very forward with telling me that he wants to make sure the company is investing in me the same way I'm investing in them.

I think I finally learned (or learned a little more) to let go. TTC doesn't come across my mind nearly as much as it used to, and while I still have times that I want to have a baby more than anything, most of the time I'm happy with what I have. Pregnancy announcements still sting, I still get jealous when friends have babies, I still pull down my "how I'll tell him I'm pregnant stuff and look at it longingly, but I think I'm accepting that it's not necessarily in the cards for us and whatever will be will be when it comes to TTC. The further down this journey we get, the more it seems M doesn't want to have kids and I even find myself talking myself out of it. I remember starting grad school to get "there" from where I was, reinvest in myself, and try to rekindle my enthusiasm for what I do. Reflecting now, I can see that it did exactly what I was hoping it would. I hope I can keep the positive momentum going.

I learned how patient I can be. When DH told me he was having issues with PTSD again I was scared. As we've been working through it, I've been scared, hurt and sometimes frustrated, but I learned I can cope with that too on top of taking two classes, teaching a third and working full time. Ending this semester was a victory for both of us. He conquered his demons and I conquered my fears.

I need to stop rambling before I write a full book!

Hugs ladies!

sammer818 · January 2013

I learned that even as people say they understand your grief, they are completely out of patience with you for still being sad and not "back to normal."

I learned that I am a bitter and angry person and I don't believe I will ever go back to being the happy sunny-type person I was 3 years ago, heck, even a year ago.

I learned that DH and I will make it through anything. We are one of the "lucky" couples whose losses have brought us infinitely closer together. I knew he was amazing when I married him, but after everything we've been through, I can't imagine a more perfect guy than my DH.

Lastly, I learned that the medical community sometimes just doesn't have answers. As someone who works in healthcare, I didn't really think that was possible - not when it came to me starting a family anyway.

What did you learn this year?

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