Multiples
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How do you all deal with rude and nosy people??? I have been asked how we conceived twins to which I was tempted to say we had sex. I have been asked if our identical twins will look alike, if they are the same sex, why we decided to have twins etc. one of my personal favorites that drives me CRAZY is "wow you are going to have your hands full" or "how will you find time to take care of 2 more?" What do you all say back to people?
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Re: Comments from others
I got asked if they run in our family, so I said they do now! So they followed it up with asking if we had trouble getting pregnant...
You should just respond we had sex when asked how they were conceived! I haven't gotten that particular question yet, but it is an appropriate response lol.
I get asked all the time if mine are identical even after they figure out that they are a boy and a girl.
At 4 months I took them to the mall and got asked how old they were. When I said 4 months the woman said...oh, you must have just gotten them out of the hospital. I was wondering if they looked sick or something. lol
I've also been asked if they were on monitors. I understand that for their age they are a little small but most multiples are a little small for their age at first. Maybe people just don't realize that.
Just some of the other comments I've gotten:
`. Are they both yours?
Since you have a boy and a girl you must be done now.
Instant family! - Because I guess only having one means you aren't a family?
You have your hands full.
Do twins run in your family. - My response to this is going to start being...no, they walk.
They can't possibly be twins. - Not sure why not seeing as how they are the same age.
He looks like a boy and she looks like a girl. - Well I certainly hope so!
When I tell them that I have a boy and a girl I get the...oh?, response. One day the response is going to be...nah, I thought I'd just tell you that because it seemed like a good answer.
Usually I can see and hear what is coming so I will make sure to keep walking. If asked if they are twins I just smile and say yes. At some point I'm going to make a sign for the stroller that says...Yes, they are twins. One boy, one girl.
to the statement of, "you're going to have your hands full" I just respond "better full than empty!" and that usually shuts them up.
IUI#3 - Jan 6 IVF#1 -5/18 - stims start (225 gonal f, 75 menopur, 5 lupron) ER 5/29 - 14R, 11M, 7F. 6/1 - Transferred 2 8cell embryos (grade 1 and 2). 8dp3dt +HPT, Beta#1 - 92, Beta #2 - 174, Beta#3 - 614, Beta#4 - 2010. 6wk u/s - TWINS! Baby A 114bpm, Baby B 112 bpm
I had a coworker ask me what I'm going to do with twins. I just stared at her. I wasn't sure what to say.
It gets annoying to even leave the house for me... no matter where I go, random people talk to me and ask me questions.
The icing on the cake was yesterday at the grocery store... 'How many babies do you have in there?' and I smiled and said 'Only 2', to which she replied 'Well I knew it was more than one, just wasn't sure how big of a litter'.
People are ridiculous... I like the idea of making a sign for the stroller like PP mentioned. I think I'll also add something about not touching them, since I'm only one person to guard off strangers' hands.
Oh people are there questions....sometimes its amusing, sometimes its annoying!
I read in a book once that a twin moms best accessory is a pair of dark sunglasses and its true! I just walk quickly with my head down if im not in a mood to answer questions....
the best ones I've encountered, "are they both circumcised?" -WHAT??? who asks this first of all and secondly, why would we do one and not the other???
and people arguing with me that they are identical and there is no difference between them and I must not be able to tell them apart....
Just learn to smile and nod and walk quickly away!
I haven't run into this yet, but I am not going to be afraid to tell people about my almost two year struggle to get pregnant and the fact that we were on IF treatments. I am not ashamed of it, so I don't mind telling them. However, the more rudely they ask, the more rudely I'll answer. I'm just a snot like that.
My grandmother out of the blue this summer mentioned how she thought I would have twins because there are twins in both my dad's family (she's my dad's mom) and my mom's family. When I told her I was pregnant with twins she said she knew it because it runs in the family. I quickly corrected her. She didn't seem to get it.
Also if you want to be a total smartass, I love this!
https://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2011/1/16/clever-pregnancy-comebacks-multiples-edition.html
TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
Started seeing RE in August 2011
5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12
This is exactly what we do. But it gets old after a while. I get tired of repeating myself.
DH also likes to say that I had one and he had the other. He then rubs his Buddha belly and says "aren't I doing great with my weight loss?"
The "wow you have your hands full" comment only gets more frequent over time. I think that most people mean well though, so I usually just smile and agree. The "do they run in your family?" is a really common one too. Sometimes I say yes, but then usually go into something about how it doesn't matter because it's on DH's side. As for how I take care of them all, I just say that we simply make it work (which is true).
People make comments a lot, and twins attract a lot of attention. But in my experience it is usually positive. People get a lot of joy out of seeing them and asking me about them. I think more than anything it's just people trying to make conversation and admire the babies.
Luckily I have only gotten the "how conceived" question once, and I was blindsided. It was in front of a bunch of strangers too, SO rude! I have no good answer for that one!
I do the same thing (though twins don't run in our families). I love the glazed-over expression people get!