Ever just want to throw in the towel? — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

Ever just want to throw in the towel?

Ever just feel like you just don't want to even try anymore? Some cycle's (This is cycle 6) it seems like everyone you know is suddenly baking babies, and they didn't even have to preheat their ovens for a few months. This month was one of those for me. 

 It's just one of those days where I am just like, God, I know when it's time, it's time, but can't it be now? Today I am just not in the mood for TTC.  

But I know when my time comes like everyone else, I am going to ADORE that child to no end. Just today I'm not in the mood for baby things.  

Re: Ever just want to throw in the towel?

  • No...I will always want a baby. But yes, sometimes it's hard and I get discouraged. 
    Started TTC January 2012
    BFP #1 1/26/13; EDD 10/5/13; MMC and D&C 2/26/13. 
    BFP #2 7/8/13; EDD 3/19/14; DD born 3/4/14 due to pre-e
    BFP #3 8/24/15; EDD 4/29/16; MC 9/6/15
    BFP #4 10/31/15; EDD 7/10/16 MC 1/23/16 




  • it can definitely suck at times, especially because when you are actively ttc, you notice every single little baby-related thing that you probably wouldnt notice otherwise. i'm sorry you're having a rough time. just hang in there and try (even though it's hard) to focus your attention elsewhere, or you can drive yourself bonkers! good luck to you :) 

    eta: didnt answer your original question: no, i have never wanted to throw in the towel. even though it sucks, i have been anticipating that this would take a while, and the wait will be soooo worth it in the end.  

    trying for #1 since May 2012... we're adopting! bringing home baby boy in january 2015!


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    Texas forever. 
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  • I definitely got discouraged when TTC #1.  This time around, my expectations are a lot lower.  I'm not expecting to get pregnant within the first 6 months (it took 12 with #1), but that doesn't stop me from still trying. 

                                                                       Started TTC #1 08/2010

    BFP #1 12/14/2010 EDD 8/24/2011, D&C due to blighted ovum 01/27/2011

    BFP #2 05/02/2011 EDD 1/10/2012, MC at 4W2D 05/04/2011

    Diagnosed with homozygous C677T MTHFR - Lovenox shots while TTC

    BFP #3 08/01/2011 EDD 04/07/2012, DD born 03/29/2012

    Started TTC #2 12/2012 on Arixtra due to Lovenox/heparin allergy

    BFP #1 03/19/2013 EDD 11/24/2013, MC at 5W 3/24/2013

    June/July 2013 - Clomid 100 MG CD 5-9 + TI = BFN

    July/August 2013 - Clomid 100 MG CD 5-9 + IUI = BFN

    August/September 2013 - Femara 5 MG CD 3-7 + IUI = BFN

    LMP 9/11 Unmedicated cycle - BFP 10/11, EDD 6/21/14 Born 6/2/14

                                                                             ~ All AL Welcome ~


  • I haven't wanted to just give up, at least not yet, but I have been discouraged at times. I'm on month #6 but still waiting to O in cycle 4. My body hasn't been cooperating the way I expected it to since stopping birth control and I've been sick around O time for two cycles now, which has been very frustrating. 

    There are times when I feel like I'm over the whole process. It's a roller coaster ride every cycle and it's disappointing to know you're doing everything you can, your timing is good, and it doesn't work. I know it's still early and that we just have to patient but that's not always easy.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I can definitely sympathize. I am such a weirdo these days, as soon as I find out someone is pregnant the first thought that pops into my head is "I wonder how long it took them?" just because I worry that I'm not already KU (this is cycle 5 for us and I was also naive and thought it would happen right away).

    But no, I never want to stop trying. My husband and I want a baby more than anything.



    Married my love 8-25-12 TTC #1 September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. DS born 10-16-13.
    TTC #2 in December 2014. BFP 12-31-14. Expecting a September baby!
  • I feel ya today.  An old frienemy just had a little one.  Some ppl go from not wanting kids to mommy so fast.  I just found out she was pregnant.  I truly believe it will happen for me when it is supposed to...but that jealous bug just bit.  I am happy for her...somewhere deep down.  My turn!

    As for not wanting to try......no way!  Wish I was Oing right now. 

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  • I agree....I never not want the baby, but the months of trying get tiring and feel endless...even though I haven't been trying as long as some others. And I definitely notice more babies baking now that my oven is pre-heated and empty too...I just woke up this morning to Kim Kardashian's baby news (I don't even keep up with her junk but it was on my facebook page from someone else when I looked this am!). I was just hoping for some Christmas or New Year's news of my own!

     


    **Siggy/Ticker Warning**   

             image
                  TTC #1 since May 2012

                  May 2013: First R.E. appointment

                  DH: SA is good

                   May 2013: CD3 Blood work-normal
               June 2013: Hsg-Right tube blocked

                   July 26, 2013: Starting Follistim for IVF #1

                  August 2013: IVF #1 Cancelled- Abnormal embryos

             October/November 2013: IVF #2 w/ICSI

                        November 8, 2013: Transferred two early blasts (no frosties) 

    November 18, 2013: First EVER BFP! 

    Beta#1: 91  Beta#2: 288

    1st U/S- 5w2d Saw yolk sac!

    3rd U/S- 7w4d HB of 157bpm!

    TEAM BLUE!

           http://movingtolight.blogspot.com/

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  • I know how you feel - the end of cycle 8 was particularly hard for me.  I turned 30 the begining of cycle 9, and really wanted to be pregnant by the time I turned 30, also knowing that "most" couples get pregnant before 8 months, it made me feel like we weren't 'normal'. (yes, I know up to a year is "normal" - but even on the informal polls we did on here showed that the majority got pregnant within 8 months).  That was my breaking point (or at least one of them).

    I actually had to step away - no The Bump, no temping, no OPTs (we weren't avoiding, but not actively trying).  I needed a few months to not think about TTC - which were VERY refreshing for me.  It didn't mean I wanted a baby any less, but I realized I had to attainable goals as my priorities - so I could feel like I was actually making progress in at least one part of my life (worked for a promotion at work, started losing weight, etc...).

     

  • I've never wanted to give up.

    I've questioned whether I'm strong enough or not though to go through this process.

    lots of <3 to my TBBFF Sothernpeach80 - BABY ETHAN IS HERE! 02.04.13 <3

    TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    BFP #1 07/27/12 - EDD 04/07/13; C/P on 07/31/12

    BFP #2 10/11/12 - EDD 06/24/13; Blighted Ovum; D&C 11/30/12

    BFP #3 03/10/13 - EDD 11/17/13 - PLEASE BE OUR TAKE HOME BABY!

    Beta #1 - 95.8 (12DPO); Beta #2 - 502 (15DPO); Beta #3 - 2003 (18DPO)

    First U/S showed one beautiful baby measuring 7w1d with a HR of 148!!! Second U/S showed baby measuring 9w0d with a HR of 173!!!

    My Ugly BFP Chart

    “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -Mother Teresa

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  • I feel like that sometimes. Or at least just taking a break for a while. I just started cycle 9, and I just feel like I am tired of constantly thinking about TTC so much. I just want to focus on other things for a while. I'm just trying to take a more laid back approach. 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am having a rough day as well. But that doesn't mean I want to throw in the towel. It is tough though - the majority of my friends got pregnant accidentally and that really frustrates me (though I know they aren't taking a baby away from me). I keep thinking is something is wrong with me or DH. Anyway - hang in there and just remember that when you finally get your BFP it's going to be amazing! 

    image


    Married June 2010.
    DD born 1/13 via Csection at 41w5d after 47 hours of labor

  • I've had bad days TTC this time around. When I had my CP, the end of the cycle after it one of DH's friends announced a pregnancy and "they got pregnant on the first cycle", a pregnant friend on FB is complaining that she can barely handle one, when she's pregnant with #2, after using fertility treatments.

     But, no, I've never wanted to give up. I just know that I'm older now, it's not going to be as easy as it was when I was 20 and 22.

  • I understand !! I have several times just wanted to give up... I get so wrapped up into this ttc and I get so heartbroken every month even when I try to mentally prepare myself .
  • I am about to enter cycle 25, but I have not yet wanted to give up, and certainly not after 6 cycles.  There have been a lot of tears and frustrations, but not yet hopelessness.
    My Blog
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    TTC #1 since February 2011
    Me: 29 (3/5/13- high NK cells)  DH: 28 (5/8/12- MFI low morph and motility)
    Cycle #21 (IUI#1), Cycle #22 (HSG 9/21/12) and Cycle #23 (IUI#2)=  image
    Cycle #24- December Snow Bunny IVF #1
    ER 12/6/12 (14R, 11M, 9F), ET 12/9/12 transferred 2 day 3 embies
    Bleeding and low betas=very cautious image C/P 5W3D
    Cycle #26 March Lucky Duck- FET #1
    scheduled 3/20/13- CANCELLED- lining issues
    Cycle #27 May Emerald- FET #1.2
    delayed- Starting Trental for 3 months + natural cycles Cycle #28-30=  image
    Cycle #31 August Shooting Star- FET #1.3 
    transferred 1 hatching blast 8/21/13= imageBetas 8/30 (108) and 9/3 (565)

    U/S 9/19/13- HR is 128!  U/S #2 10/4/13- HR is 174!
    It's a BOY!

  • Actually, yes. And I'm coming to a realization that if I don't get KU successfully by the end of the year, I may call it quits. I just don't think I have it in me for the long haul to try through IVF, etc. I feel like I'm missing out on other things in my life, and that TTC has become somewhat of a burden on our marriage. Sadly, I've already starting coming to terms with the possibility of not being able to have children. It sucks, but it is reality at this point.
    Married since 2008 | TTC #1 since 2011

    2 losses: Nov '11 and Aug '12

    Dx: Feb '13 - HSG shows clear tubes but minor diverticulitis; Borderline DOR; Low DHEA and low testosterone.

    Moving on to IUI or IVF.

    3.4.13:  Holy crap! Surprise natural BFP on cycle #19. EDD 11.12.13

    We've got a peen.....it's a boy! 

    Little man born 11.17.2013 via c-section


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  • I understand completely. I turn on the TV today and the first thing I see was Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Not something that I would normally pay much attention to, but I just thought to myelf, poor Khloe :-(  Last night was one of those nights and it turned in one of those days. I don't think I can stand another pregnancy announcement. I got so frustrated I started a blog, lol. Hopefully it will help vent my feelings. Hope your day gets better!

     

     

    http://funkyuterus.blogspot.com/ 

  • I understand.  Last cycle was particularly hard for me.  It was my first cycle going back to temping after a break in actively TTC.  DH was sick on O-1 and I had a mini-break down when he told me to "relax."  Actually, I wrote a post on here about it because I was seriously ready to hurt him!  I've thought about how nice it would be to just stop thinking about it and say we're happy with our lives as they are (and we are!) and start planning vacations, looking at the calendar to see when a play is coming to town instead of when AF is, putting money away for a lake house instead of a kid's college tuition.

    Honestly, I've avoided the bump completely this month.  Heck, I don't even recognize half the user names on here right now!  I've been so wrapped up with Christmas things that I've barely thought about baby/TTC.  It's been AMAZING!

    imageimage
    Me: 33     DH: 38
    TTC since August 2011
    DX:  PCOS and subseptate uterus
    August 2013:  Clomid + Trigger + IUI TI = BFN
    September 2013:  Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    October 2013:  Clomid + Trigger + IUI canceled
    November 2013:  NTNP
    April 2013:  Femara + Trigger + IUI = ???
    image
  • I have sometimes wondered if it would ever happen, but I have never considered giving up. The first year was the hardest truthfully, because I still had high hopes that my odds were good.

    As crazy as that sounds, after I passed the year mark and the IF diagnosis, and  came to terms with the reality of my situation, it got easier. January will be 24 months, and 19 cycles for us. We have Unexplained IF, and our RE gave us about 4% odds of conceiving naturally.. We are still trying. I give myself a day to feel disappointed/cry/react however I feel each CD1, and then I try to move on, because for me, dwelling on the negaitve can quickly bring me down.

    I think it's good to allow yourself to feel how you are feeling, but also acknowledge that if there are things/situations/etc. that make things worse for you, to take a step back. If I am having a bad day, I don't get on FB because I don't want to resent other people's positive news because I am having a bad day.

    Anyways, I went off on a tanget, but hope it helps. Just my 2 cents.  Keep your chin up.


    ** After  2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl came to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **

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  • I haven't been trying very long (this is cycle 7 for us), but after about month 3 or so, after each BFN or AF I sometimes get quite mopey and hopeless, feeling like this is never going to happen. It's really hard to imagine 2 lines at this point! 

    I think I too easily feel sorry for myself, and I want to change that. I also need to stop comparing myself to all our friends who got pregnant their first time trying. 

    TTC #1 since July 2012
    image
  • image EllieEsco:

    I turn on the TV today and the first thing I see was Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Not something that I would normally pay much attention to, but I just thought to myelf, poor Khloe :-(  

    That was my first thought as well. It must be really tough.  

    TTC #1 since July 2012
    image
  • image lobosabby:

    I've never wanted to give up.

    I've questioned whether I'm strong enough or not though to go through this process.

    You are one of the strong ones my love!!!! You can do it! <3 and I will be right here with ya <3
    Married BF 6/29/2002/
    TTC Since Aug 2011/
    ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
    IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)

    IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
    Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
    ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
    stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan

    Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn

    Ivf#4 New dr. New protocol=beta1 197 beta#2 677 beta#3 1557
     u/s 8/13 =TWINS 2 strong hb
    Due Date 4/4/14

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    My Chart//>
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  • image thekikimonster:
    I have definitely wanted to give up but that didn't come up until cycle 20, not cycle 6.
    Right Hug
    Married BF 6/29/2002/
    TTC Since Aug 2011/
    ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
    IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)

    IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
    Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
    ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
    stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan

    Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn

    Ivf#4 New dr. New protocol=beta1 197 beta#2 677 beta#3 1557
     u/s 8/13 =TWINS 2 strong hb
    Due Date 4/4/14

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    My Chart//>
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  • image GermanGirl2007:

    I have sometimes wondered if it would ever happen, but I have never considered giving up. The first year was the hardest truthfully, because I still had high hopes that my odds were good.

    As crazy as that sounds, after I passed the year mark and the IF diagnosis, and  came to terms with the reality of my situation, it got easier. January will be 24 months, and 19 cycles for us. We have Unexplained IF, and our RE gave us about 4% odds of conceiving naturally.. We are still trying. I give myself a day to feel disappointed/cry/react however I feel each CD1, and then I try to move on, because for me, dwelling on the negaitve can quickly bring me down.

    I think it's good to allow yourself to feel how you are feeling, but also acknowledge that if there are things/situations/etc. that make things worse for you, to take a step back. If I am having a bad day, I don't get on FB because I don't want to resent other people's positive news because I am having a bad day.

    Anyways, I went off on a tanget, but hope it helps. Just my 2 cents.  Keep your chin up.

    I get giddy when I see you post!
    Married BF 6/29/2002/
    TTC Since Aug 2011/
    ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
    IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)

    IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
    Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
    ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
    stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan

    Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn

    Ivf#4 New dr. New protocol=beta1 197 beta#2 677 beta#3 1557
     u/s 8/13 =TWINS 2 strong hb
    Due Date 4/4/14

    image

    My Chart//>
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  • well, as you can see from my siggy, I am a fighter!

    That being said I have learned to really enjoy life because it can all flash by if you don't pay attention. I am about to start Ivf #3, so not giving up for me just keep moving forward.

    Married BF 6/29/2002/
    TTC Since Aug 2011/
    ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
    IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)

    IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
    Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
    ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
    stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan

    Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn

    Ivf#4 New dr. New protocol=beta1 197 beta#2 677 beta#3 1557
     u/s 8/13 =TWINS 2 strong hb
    Due Date 4/4/14

    image

    My Chart//>
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  • I have been disappointed and discouraged but no, I haven't wanted to throw in the towel. I want a baby and I'm going to do whatever we can to become parents. 
    image  image
    О Привязать! Z!
    The Science Babies debuted 5/6/14 @ 34 weeks
  • image rrdiva1:

    well, as you can see from my siggy, I am a fighter!

    That being said I have learned to really enjoy life because it can all flash by if you don't pay attention. I am about to start Ivf #3, so not giving up for me just keep moving forward.

    Love this. :)


    ** After  2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl came to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **

     image
    image
  • image GermanGirl2007:
    image rrdiva1:

    well, as you can see from my siggy, I am a fighter!

    That being said I have learned to really enjoy life because it can all flash by if you don't pay attention. I am about to start Ivf #3, so not giving up for me just keep moving forward.

    Love this. :)

    <3 GG!  Love seeing you around these parts again!

    My Blog
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    TTC #1 since February 2011
    Me: 29 (3/5/13- high NK cells)  DH: 28 (5/8/12- MFI low morph and motility)
    Cycle #21 (IUI#1), Cycle #22 (HSG 9/21/12) and Cycle #23 (IUI#2)=  image
    Cycle #24- December Snow Bunny IVF #1
    ER 12/6/12 (14R, 11M, 9F), ET 12/9/12 transferred 2 day 3 embies
    Bleeding and low betas=very cautious image C/P 5W3D
    Cycle #26 March Lucky Duck- FET #1
    scheduled 3/20/13- CANCELLED- lining issues
    Cycle #27 May Emerald- FET #1.2
    delayed- Starting Trental for 3 months + natural cycles Cycle #28-30=  image
    Cycle #31 August Shooting Star- FET #1.3 
    transferred 1 hatching blast 8/21/13= imageBetas 8/30 (108) and 9/3 (565)

    U/S 9/19/13- HR is 128!  U/S #2 10/4/13- HR is 174!
    It's a BOY!

  • Thanks for everyone's comments. Last night I was having a down moment. I gotta be positive. I'm in my early 20's and my friends are all having the babies they want easy but for us it's taking much longer than 6th grade told me it would. I don't think we're ever going to give up, I just think if the next 3 months don't bring something, we're going to step away a bit. Just take a vacation maybe, do something different, I'll stop buying opk's and temping. Take up a new hobby or something. It's not that TTC control's my marriage, I just always feel like it's on my mind, and it's beginning to get exhausting. 
  • Of course! Ditto to the peeps who said it's OK to throw a little pity party when AF arrives, so long as it doesn't last too long. And at cycle #10 lots of things make me feel like saying "oh f%ck it!" That doesn't change the fact that I want a baby and we'll keep trying in one way or another. Totally feel you and hope you had a big glass of vino to enjoy during your party! Wink
    ______________________________________________________________________________

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    Trying to conceive #2
    Me: 36 - slight DOR (AMH: 1.1), decent OAR; DH: 41 - Morphology 4%
    NTNP July-Aug 2014, ATTC Sept 2014-Present
    October 2014 - CP
    July 2015 - Clomid + #1 IUI = BFN
    September 2015 - Clomid + #2 IUI = CP
    October 2015 - Letrozole (5 follies - yay!) + #3 IUI = BFN
    November 2015 - CP
    December 2015 - CP
    February 2016 - Letrozole + #4 IUI = CP
    April 2016 - CP
    May/June 2016 - IVF #1 and IUI #5 (Estrace + Follistim + micro-hCG + HGH) = BFN

    Struggled to conceive #1 2012-2013
    Me: Chronic Pain Condition since 2009, DH: Slightly Abnormal SA
    Clomid #1: March 2013 - BFN; Clomid + IUI: May 2013 CXL; BFP on 4/22/13 = Baby Boy #1 1/1/14

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