- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Natural Birth
ClairasMommy
member
Getting prepared.....
ClairasMommy
member
Im getting nervous for the big day! I am so excited to have my second LO here, but im anxious about labor and delivery. I really want a natural birth, no pain meds, no interventions....Its stressing me out.
Worried that I won't be able to balance keeping our almost 3 year old from feeling left out, and being able to care for a newborn.
Not sure where I was going with this post but I guess any advice on how to relax and enjoy these last 5 weeks? Reassurance from second time moms of how toddlers react to a newborn. Thanks everyone. 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Getting prepared.....
Older kids adjust, mostly because they have to.
I think the early weeks are easiest. Baby sleeps a lot, so you still have quite a bit of time with your older one, and the baby is all new and exciting for them.
As the months go by, and they realise that baby is here for good, and the baby is awake for longer periods, and then it gets mobile and starts stealing your toys, that's when things get a bit tougher for them, in my experience.
DD1 has gotten quite needy for attention the last couple of months, and I've had to be careful to ensure she's getting quality time too.
Somethings we've done is to encourage DD1 to help with the baby in terms of fetching things. We always talk positively about them, "Look how baby is smiling at you, gosh she loves her big sister." "I bet you'll be able to show baby how to xyz when she's older."
It is a tough transition but my basic rule is that, "Mum never runs out of snuggles." so although I may not be able to cuddle either child in just the way they would want ie entirely on their own for half an hour, I always have space and time for them.
Also as DD2 has gotten older, I've also been careful to loudly state the same rules to her as I do to DD1, "Jane be gentle with your hands, we don't pull hair." (even though it's just uncontrolled baby grabbing I like for DD1 to hear me being even-handed and consistent) or No matter who has the toy the other has to wait their turn. DD1 doesn't have to share just because she's eldest.
Anyway I just wanted to say it will work itself out.
As to the labour, why are you stressed? Did you have a very medicated birth with your first? Or is it just the unknown nature of labour?
FWIW I've had two great med-free births and truly enjoy giving birth.
Good luck with your upcoming birth. try and have some special one on one time with your eldest, I took my girl to the zoo and things, but also try and get some relax time for yourself too!!
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Just had another thought. As challenging as it as times for DD1, she ADORES her little sister.
Mobility brought difficulties of sharing toys, but it also means she has someone to scamper around with. They're always off somewhere together, DD1 is always showing DD2 things, and bringing her things to play with. It's super cute to watch them together, and DD1 frequently tells me to go away so they can play in peace :-(
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Thank you! Very helpful... and yes I did have a very medicated birth with dd1. I made it to 8cm and was told that she had not dropped yet. And because this was my first baby she was going to be hours before she would drop and I would be able to push. So I gave into the epidural. I believe that if I had not heard such discouraging words at 8cm I could have done it naturally... This time I have switched hospitals to a more naturally inclind one.(wonderful midwives who truely believe that you can do it naturally) I have a birthplan and have made some suggestions like not being told how dialated I am and just going with the flow. I also have a doula this time to reduce the pressure from family to get the epi. I feel I have prepared all that I can and yet I fear the pain overwhelming me. I think with this pregnancy being a bit more painful than with dd1 i am worried that is just a glimps of things to come...
Anyways thank you for your encouraging thoughts. I am so excited for dd1 to meet dd2. She is also excited to meet her little sister:) Im sure its all just stress and fear of the unknown.
Thanks again!:)