March 2013 Moms
HML5382
member
Thoughts on having a "Sprinkle" for STMs?
HML5382
member
I'm just curious what people's thoughts are. My MIL and Mom were discussing on Christmas the idea of having a Sprinkle, or small shower, for me. This is my second and it's another girl (Yay! Just found that out on Christmas Eve!!) so I really hardly need anything. I did make a small amazon registry mostly for myself to keep straight what I need to buy, I wasn't really planning on sharing it with anyone except maybe Mom and MIL. Personally I think another shower is totally unnecessary but they say it's more for them and would just be my closest friends and family. I can't help but cringe a little at the idea... but what do you ladies think? Is having a "sprinkle" obnoxious or no big deal?
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Re: Thoughts on having a "Sprinkle" for STMs?
I've never been to one, but they do seem a bit gift grabby to me, especially with kids close in age and the same gender.
I think if your gut reaction is to cringe, then you should go with that and decline the sprinkle.
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
I agree with this.
BFP #1 09/02/11 M/C 09/12/11 8w6days
BFP #2 07/18/12 Baby S born on his EDD 03/23/13
SS - age 12...SD - age 8...DS - 13 mos.
Entirely a personal decision, though it also depends on what they mean by "sprinkle". If it's a full scale shower but being called a "sprinkle", yes, cringe. Though, I have attended a shower for a friend whose youngest was 5 and was pregnant with their first girl (given the family genetics, a girl was considered a statistical anomaly, so everyone was ecstatic for them)
My circle of mom friends generally does a shower for every baby. The last one I attended, I didn't even bring a present with me and nobody batted an eye. We sat around the eat-in kitchen, eating fondue, drawing on onesies with sharpies and chatting for 3 hours before people began trickling back out. That was it. There just happened to be a few "it's a boy" mints and one balloon on the table and a small pile of presents for the mom to take home with her at the end of the night.
Don't go by what a bunch of people on a message board thing... If your family would be for it then let her throw you one. It is very normal around here to have a sprinkle to celebrate a new baby. My mom and MIL insisted because they want to make this baby a big deal just as my DD
OP If YOU think they're gift grabby, why are you even considering it? ;-)
Ditto the above!
My little man at 0-1-2
They are not at all common in my circle of family and friends. I probably wouldn't attend if I were invited - especially if I had already given generously for the honoree's first child.
I always give a gift for ANY new baby in a family regardless of birth order or gender but I dislike it when people host events like this where it is sort of expected to bring something. To me - it is a total gift grab.
this
Married to J since 5/05, Mommy to T (10/08), L (08/10) and C (02/13) who was born at home.
I love celebrating babies, but like you said.. There isn't anything you should even need. I would have a meet an greet after the baby Is born. If someone wants to bring a gift, believe me, they will.
I threw one for my SIL for her 2nd baby. She already had a girl and they found out they were having a boy for the 2nd. I did it only for the reason that she had no clothes for a boy. She didn't register. We put on the invite that Big sister had all the big things to pass down so think blue. Everyone got the hint and brought blue outfits or diapers. It was family and close friends that came. Maybe about 20-30 people (We have a big family).
I also like the idea of a "Sip and See" for after the baby is born for STM's.
You DO realize she asked for opinions, right? That's kind of the point then.
I've been invited to 2 sprinkles and I've managed to not go to either of them. Both of them were for a same-sex baby within 3 years of each other, so I thought it was tacky and unnecessarily gift grabby. And not necessarily by the poor mom, one of them that I was invited to, the MTB came down with the flu the day of so it was cancelled. I think she caught wind of her surprise sprinkle and said "oh, hellz no".
Here's the way I see it: You have ALL the baby gear, you just want more outfits or want me to buy your diapers for you? Pass. I will bring an outfit or something cute when I come see you at home or at the hospital to meet the baby, but that's because I want to, not because I am socially obligated by some lame excuse for a party.
BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
Agree with this!
DS1 -6/25/11
DS2 -3/23/13
Missed MC D&C 8/26/14
DD - 8/26/15
LO#4 due 5/30/17
To elaborate, people who want to get you something for #2 will, regardless or a sprinkle or not.
Your mom and MIL can always take a small group of your friends out to lunch if they want to do something to 'celebrate' the baby with you and spend some time together. But I wouldn't mention anything about gifts (not even 'no gifts necessary!' since people bring them anyway), wouldn't call it a sprinkle, and wouldn't publicize your registry. Your friends are probably internet savvy and know how to look up a registry if they want to.
Again, if you're cringing, then talk about your feelings with your mom and MIL. You shouldn't be forced into doing something tacky if you're not comfortable with it.
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
Agreed.
BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12
BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13
In my circle, we celebrate every baby regardless of it's birth order.
That being said, a FTM shower looks totally different than one for a 2+mom.
They're thrown after the baby is born and there is no registry and no really big gifts like you would give a FTM (stroller, car seat, crib, etc.)
It's really just to celebrate, coo over the baby and heck, have some fun!
I think if it's approached in that way there is not one single thing wrong with it. No one is obligated or influenced to bring a gift (but most will anyway).
I think it's only "gift-grabby" if there is some big registry and when it's done while you're still pregnant so people don't even get to meet the baby.
SAHM to two sweet girls, both born at home; Baby #3 in 2013!
I personally don't see anything wrong with them- I think every baby should be celebrated and IMO they aren't as much about the gifts as they are just to spend time with the mom and talk about baby stuff and celebrate the new edition. I will say that I do not do as big of a gift for sprinkles as I do for a FTM at a shower.
I threw a sprinkle for a friend who was expecting her 3rd- it was very unexpected as she had IF and they were using protection (mirena, I believe) and she got pregnant anyway. She was having a tough time being excited as they truly thought their family was complete at 2 and she had given away all their baby stuff. I only invited maybe 10 people total (family and a few close friends) about 6 people attended and it was just a small brunch at my house. I think the biggest present she got was a ju ju be diaper bag from her mom. She got mostly cute outfits and a few cheaper baby items and diapers. It was nice- it was a break for the other mom attendee's (an excuse to go out sans kids) and we just talked about baby stuff, names, etc. I don't think it was gift grabby at all and I rarely view any shower as gift grabby unless its someone who I barely know inviting me to something. If its for a friend I generally know the person well enough to realize that it's not their intent if that makes sense.