Anxieties about baby disappearing
SailorXO
member
Hey ladies,
Id love some feedback if you have the time. im having these crazy anxieties about my growing baby just disappearing. Here's a small background maybe to help understand. I was pregnant last year with a full term beautiful boy, he was born on Christmas Day 2011, 10 days later he fell ill and was called back to heaven in just 16 hours. Needless to say it was very shocking and horrific. After a few months, My husband and I were blessed again with the coming of our new daughter who will be born in 4 weeks. For the past couple days and on and off during the whole pregnancy, I have been having these terrible dreams of her just disappearing. Like ill wake up and it'll be a normal day, I just won't be pregnant anymore, no explainations. The dreams have become daily paranoid thoughts. I'll look at my belly constantly making sure its not smaller. I take account all her movements to make sure she's still alive. I know it's somewhat normal to have fears and anxieties that baby is okay, right? Anyway, my question is simple, am I over thinking? I know there's no easy way to get over the loss of a child, and I know I'm still broken over our son. Besides being a bit paranoid, It is normal right?
Re: Anxieties about baby disappearing
Honestly, if you post on the pregnant after a lost board you will probably feel better... and yes it's slightly paranoid but it's totally normal after experiencing a lost like that. We lost our first baby in the beginning of the 2nd tri and though out this whole pregnancy I have had a fear that this LO won't make it either. Try to relax (very hard I know), and try to enjoy the last part of your pg (if that's even possible when we are this big....hehe) and remember that this ISN'T your last baby and hopefully you will make it through. If it all becomes too much you might want to find a dr to talk to who deals with sudden deaths.... GL!
Starting Metformin 5/2012
BFP 6/25/2012!! EDD 3/7/2013!! IT'S A BOY!!
Sorry my pregnant brain didn't finish my thought.... I meant to say that you might find some more comfort talking to the PGAL board because on that forum we have been through a whole range of this and it might bring more comfort in speaking with other mommies who have been through similar experiences.
Hugs to you.
You are brave to share your story. As I read it, I felt intense grief for you and your family. I lost a LO too, and I have to pinch myself sometimes to remember that this is a different experience. Doesn't stop me from counting kicks every time i think about it. But I feel better after I do it so I keep on doing it. I have even wondered if everything is ok when my belly shrinks a bit over night. And sometimes I wait to get out of bed til I feel baby move.
Your experience will be with you always, and your worries may intensify when your baby arrives. Maybe try to build a supportive network-which you may already have. And someone to talk to when you need to let go- I found an amazing psychologist who's also a nurse and a mom. She helps me so much!
First off, I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. I can't even begin to imagine how traumatic that was for you and it definitely explains the fears you're having now. Don't feel crazy!
One thing that might be an option if you have a smart phone is the app babyscope. It lets you plug in headphones to your phone and listen to the baby's heartbeat. I started using it at 24 weeks and with a little effort I can find the heartbeat every time.
I hope you get some relief from your anxiety!
I have heard amazing things about the Loss board, located just to the left, above Military Families. They will know much more about what you're going through than those reading this post that haven't experienced the loss of a child.
I am so sorry for the loss of your son, and I pray for nothing but health and happiness for your daughter.