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July 2012 Moms
zyas
member
Am I overreacting? WWYD...
zyas
member
Normally I don't rant about My H but I am so frustrated and upset right now, and cannot talk to my family about this, so I'm turning to you girls.
I was so looking forward to this Christmas, being LO's one first one and having my parents come spend it with us. They live on the West coast of Canada and we live in Chicago so it's a little ways away. They were at our house for a week and by the 2nd day, my dad and S (my H) were already butting heads. S has been sick for a couple weeks and still has a cough that won't go away, and he was really not feeling good at all last week so he was extra cranky. It was driving me crazy how I kept feeling like the mediator between the 2 of them. S kept disappearing into our room to play video games on his computer and for the most part I let him and didn't bug him. Until Christmas dinner when we had his whole family over to our house to join us. First of all his family tried to take a short cut to our house and got lost so they were really late getting to our house. We had the dinner (which my dad spent all day cooking) all ready. S and my dad were mad at each other because of an earlier altercation and I felt totally in the middle. Then S said he wasn't joining the rest of us for dinner and I completely lost it. His family arrived at the door and I was in our bedroom in tears. S came in and felt really bad and said he would make an effort during dinner. And to his credit, both he and my dad tried and everyone had a good time.
It was a very stressful week for me though trying to keep everyone happy. We were all planning to leave yesterday to go to my sisters in Indiana for New Years. S, LO and I were planning to stay a few days and my parents are staying the rest of the week there. The day before we left, I told S that he should just stay home. I know he doesn't want to go hang out with my family and that he'd rather stay home and play video games for a few days. I figured I would have a better time if I didn't have to worry about everyone getting along and all that. He said he was still going to come only because everyone would be mad at him if he didn't. I convinced him to stay home. He still has a nasty cough and he needs to get better so it's probably better he stay home and rest.
I am a little sad that he was so willing to stay home and not come spend New Years with us.
So today just before we are about to have our Christmas celebration with my sisters family (celebrating today since we weren't with them on the 25th), I get a text from our bank. We have it set to notify us when a transaction over $125 happens from our bank account. It was for $185 to a company I've never heard of. Since we've had our account hacked into a couple times in the past, I called S to ask him about it. He tells me he just paid for something online. He used some of his birthday money from his parents to buy something for an online game he's playing. WTH??? $185 for something to use in a game????
Ok so I got off the phone cause I didn't want to freak out but I was almost in tears over this. We didn't even buy each other christmas gifts cause we can't afford it. yes his parents gave him birthday money last month which he put in the bank, and I also got some which I put in the bank. I used $85 to go get my hair done last month, but the rest of the money I left in the bank to go towards bills.
I don't have a problem with him buying something he needs or wants with his own birthday money but it really irks me that he spent SO MUCH on something to add onto a computer game!! And especially right now when money is tight. I'm guess I'm just really hurt but thinking about it, I don't know if I have a right to be.
I did text him that I was upset he spent so much on it and I know he now feels really bad. I feel bad for making him upset but honestly this ruined my whole day. I had to go put on a happy face for my family and I was fighting tears the entire time.
I don't even know what to say to him now. I'm so tired of being the one who stays awake at night worrying about our finances, the one who handles all our bills and everything, and the one who tries to make both our families happy.
Am I over-reacting about everything?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Am I overreacting? WWYD...
The money- no, I'd be upset; that's A LOT for a game regardless of where the money came from.
The not coming to your sister's house- yes. you're overreacting. You pretty much forced him to stay home. You told him to stay, he said he was coming, and you told him not to. You can't be mad that he was "so willing to stay home" when you told him to do so. Just saying...
This exactly.
Oh I totally know I pretty much forced him to stay home. That part I'm really not upset about, it's the money thing that is the big issue.
About the family situation yes, he kept the peace and in the longrun thats the best option.
The money...sometimes being an adult means making the not-so-fun choice to spend gifted money on non-fun things like bills. Yeah, it sucks but that's life sometimes. We've all been there.