- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
missyishere
member
One last open letter?
missyishere
member
in Parenting
Dear body of mine,
I'm busting major azz trying to lose my azz, but apparently you think it's appropriate to hang onto that booty. I'm not married to Sir Mix Alot; baby, don't want back. Until you get your sh!t straight, I'm punishing you by taking some bread away.
Sincerely,
Your maker
I'm busting major azz trying to lose my azz, but apparently you think it's appropriate to hang onto that booty. I'm not married to Sir Mix Alot; baby, don't want back. Until you get your sh!t straight, I'm punishing you by taking some bread away.
Sincerely,
Your maker
Parenting Floozie Brigades official motto: We welcome to you the board with open legs. Also, open beers. ~@cinemagoddess
This discussion has been closed.
Re: One last open letter?
Lol! Cha Ching!
Disaster acquaintances are the best! Well, for entertainment value that is...
Dear twins in my belly,
Please stop with the hatred of mommy's favorite foods. Mommy would like to eat something other than saltine crackers also.
Love,
Mom
Dear little inside baby girl,
I would really love it if you came today. Mommy and Daddy really wanted that tax break but also I thought it would be cool if you were born 12 of 2012 since your sister was born 10 of 2010. However, if you are not going to come today then tomorrow would be pretty special too so you could be a lucky little NYE baby.
Also, I'm sick of drinking tea until it comes out of my nose and shoving pills in every orifice to get you to come out. I just want to meet you, that's all.
Love you to the moon and back,
Your Mama
Come out, come out wherever you are.
Signed,
Someone bored that wanted to use the phrase Baby Karsch.
Dear Hesterlicious,
Thank you for writing to baby Karsch she supes appreciates the words of encouragement, if she comes out within the next 24 hours I will make her middle name "Hesterlicious" just for you.
Signed,
Mama Karsch
Dear UC Doc (who got it from a CrackerJack box);
While practicing statistical medicine is wonderful, sometimes when you have the patient's medical history in front of you it trumps your statistics. Remember, it's a bell curve, not every patient presents the same. If you had checked the history, you'd know that my sinus' are structured such that unless you're an ENT you can be looking at a severe sinus infection that will only be fixed with surgery and think it's a clear sinus. This has stumped many a doctor before especially the ER doc who got a WTF look when he was looking in my nose that looked clear while looking at a head CT that showed a beyond severe infection. If you bothered to look at the lab results when this was figured out you'd also know I don't run fevers like a normal person (the worst example: imagine having a purple boob severe mastitis with chills/flu/dizzy feeling and having a body temp of 98.1) even though I'm the petri dish for some pretty nasty bacteria. I would really like to get this sinus infection knocked back down so that my asthma can stop the major flair that is going on to just fix the actual problem and avoid trying to give the petri dish bacteria some steroids while attempting to get over the asthma flair.
Also, personal hygeine matters, would you please take a shower, with soap, this week!
Sincerely,
The patient who's now $$ lighter and still sicker than $#;+
Dear house,
Please clean yourself. Its too cold to get off the couch and part with my blankies.
Love,
Littlemac
Seriously! I mean, it's 2012 almost 2013! They make self cleaning ovens, what gives?
Wtf, what an idiot. I'm glad you're going to see someone else. Hope little Eli feels better soon!
Shouldn't we all have a Rosey by now?
Please be nice.
Thanks,
Yours Truly,
OTG
Dude, there is a mini video before the picture. Its frightening and really sad.
If not for the age - I'm wondering if we saw the same doc... It's like they sent out a memo "You will be fired or fined if you send the lab a nasal swab to confirm bacterial vs. viral illness' "... I've got to call on Wednesday about DS too because OF COURSE, no one is working today or tomorrow other than the UC idiots... He was running a low grade temp Friday, spiked BIGTIME (they told me just monitor), broke, now he's got a case of the greenies and whapping at his ear...
ETA: On the honey thing... I grew up a beekeeper, so keep it in perspective. The recommendation of "no honey for babies" was a piece of research done in Russia in the 1940's/50's on a population sample of 4 infants using "Raw" honey (Most honey sold in stores goes through a heat process which helps filter out any wax/etc. from the extracting process and give the honey longer liquidity on the shelf - it has an indefinite shelf life even in a granulated state). One infant passed away from the group but it was from reviewing things after the fact it was likely SIDS and not botulism. If botulism was the case, things like carrots, potatoes, beets, etc. would also be not recommended for babies as they're also known carriers of botulism. The key above all else is no RAW honey. Granted, it's considered unethical to do this same research today to find out one way or the other on honey for infants, however people still follow that recommendation even if the research wouldn't hold up to the freshman level of scientific scrutiny today. (that said, we still followed the holding off for a year)
Dear 2012,
Thanks for being a good year to us, unlike your pal 2011.
Yours,
Zep
Thanks for the back up. I hope this baby shows tonight as much as I don't want to meet Baby Hesterlicious Karsch. Or as I would call her Little Karschalicous.
Dear 2013,
Please be kind to my family and allow us to have more healthy days than sick days this year. I took DS to the doctor 28 times in 2012 and would love to know how DS acts not on meds and feeling good.
Thanks,
glitterpop
Dear 2012,
You can go DIAF. I have hated large parts of the ridiculousness you sent our way. It is unacceptable that so many things have broken or needed very expensive repair in such a short time frame. Good one giving DH a job offer in our dream town but not enough time to sell/lease or let me find a job, too. Good planning to have us use up our savings fixing shiit so we couldn't afford to make the move. He didn't really enjoy turning that one down. Awesome that our dog had to take a hit, too, but at least he didn't need surgery after all. Sure enjoyed that MRI he had to have to confirm it, though. Thanks for making me regret saying, "ok, nothing else could possibly go wrong.". You suck major donkey balls.
Peace out,
Someone crossing her fingers that 2013 will bring HAPPY surprises
Dear Fireworks:
Quite a few years ago I thought you were loads of fun with your loud noise and bright lights. Now as a Mother, I FUUCKIING HATE YOUR GUTS!!!!!
Sincerely,
Pissed off Mom of a Toddler with a fever who's trying to get some sleep!
Dear MIL,
We are about to visit you for the first time in FOUR years. Can you please keep your snide comments and rude remarks to yourself? Your previous hissy fits over infants wearing shoes, drinking whole milk, DS1 jumping off the side of the pool, DD listening to kids bop, etc have all proven untrue. The kids all walk (amazing), aren't overweight, aren't braindead and certainly aren't sluts. If you really wanted a decent relationship with your grandchildren, you need to start with getting along with their mother and not tearing down every parenting decision I make. Just sayin' of course. I am sure this isn't going to work, so I'll look forward to your newest weird ass harpin'.
Yours truely,
Shopgirl
I am truly sorry I worked you like cheap hookers for the last four months. Honestly, I am, and please take consolation in the fact that I do not enjoy the pump either.
But, righty, pitching a fit like this is really not cool. I hate doctors, I hate hospitals, I hate IVs. I hate mastitis. I do not hate bedrest, but I hate not being able to hold the boys. So please, let's make this a once in a lifetime experience and move on.
Thanks,
The statistical inflamed boob lottery winner
Dear colic,
You have overstayed your welcome. GTFO. We need some sleep and we deserve to have a happy baby. The kid has had no happy time. Find someone else to bother.
Mother of the kid who screams for about 3 hours a day, every day.
Oh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this. Nora was colicy too, so I completely empathize.
No offense but bronchitis is usually a viral infection that is causing the lungs to be inflamed. Antibiotics won't do nothing for this. Inhalers and steroids will. Not saying that doc wasn't a whack job (with recommending honey), just clarifying that bronchitis is usually a viral infection. It usually still needs to be treated with prescription meds, just not antibiotics.