Babies: 6 - 9 Months

Who else has a high needs baby?

Whew my lo is giving me a run for my money today! To say she is a fussy baby is an understatement.  I look at other happy go lucky babies and think wow their moms are lucky lol.  I just dont get it and sometimes wonder if I'm a bad mom?  I absolutely love my lo more than life itself she is a sweetheart, but I dont get why she has to be unhappy/fussy most of the day?  Since she was a newborn with colic and acid reflux she was fussy most of the day, we started her on zantac with some relief but not a big change.  I also think she is sensitive to things in my breastmilk so I try to limit dairy/tomatoes but I have been trying to reintroduce them back in.  After starting solids at 6m her reflux got worse so she was switched to Nexium, so reflux is not really a problem right now.  Just in general she gets bored with everything, always wants momma but even when Im holding her shes fussy.  She'll play in her playmat or jumper for a bit then she just wants you to pick her up.  She doesnt do alot of activity during the day bc she always wants to be held so we read books,etc to keep her entertained.  I see other babies who happily roll over, she cries once she gets there lol. Or that go after toys and play for hrs with them, she cries and wants me to bring toys to her, but she's over it quick!  She is so interested in what we are doing that she fights sleep at bedtime and naptime. She still takes 3 naps a day at 7 m, I stick to a 2 hr rule, bc she is usually very fussy every 2 hrs, but she fights napping in crib and swing and wont always fall asleep nursing anymore-there is always crying involved and I hate it!  Cry it out hasnt really worked in my house, probably bc when she gets to screaming bloody murder i go in and get her.  She will eventually fall asleep in the swing bc of the nice motion it makes her, but when will I need to stop swing naps?  How do you get your lo's to sleep at night, yes I already have routine and all the tricks-bath, lotion, white noise etc.  She will NOT go to sleep if ppl are around -way too interested.  I have to cut on music and shut the blinds to get her to nap during the day, is that going above and beyond?  I wish she would just sleep anytime anywhere she is just not that baby.  My mother thinks I spoil her by holding her so much, what do I do let her cry all day every day?? I think there is too much crying going on now in our house:(

Re: Who else has a high needs baby?

  • First off major hugs mama!  Second, you can't spoil a baby.  Some babies are just born more demanding and spirited than others.  (There is a great book called raising your spirited child and in it the parents talk about how some kids are just " more" from the get go. A couple things that I would suggest are to go on an elimination diet.  It can seem very overwhelming at first,but honestly it is sooooo worth it.  Dr. Sears has one that really outlines what to and not to eat.  I would do that for two weeks and then slowly reintroduce foods.  It can definitely be daunting, but a lot of what you described screams food allergy/intolerance to me,  ds was very high needs and in retrospect I think a lot of that was bc his body can't process dairy or gluten and I was eating both those foods in my diet and later feeding them to him.  I also recommend getting an ergo, becco, etc (not Bjorn or infantino) and wearing your dd and going for a walk.  Just bundle up as the fesh air will be good for bth of you and the movement of your body will help her to either fall asleep or fall asleep once she is home.  Ds was extremely inquisitive too and now he is as a preschooler as well.  He still isn't much of a sleeper, but it has gotten better as he has gotten older.  He is very sweet, sensitive and smart.  (This isn't just a mothers bias as people tell this to me all the time).  I remember 7 months being a bear of a month to put him to sleep bc there were so many developmental changes going on for him that he just wanted to practice.  ( he cut his first two teeth, crawled and pulled himself to standing all at that time).   And later when he was learning to talk another bear of a time as he just wanted to practice sounds rather than go to sleep.  While this is a negative, he speaks extremely well for his age and has a vocabulary of a much older child.  (Our pediatrician has remarked on this since he was two).  Why am I saying all this?  Bc right when you are in the trenches so to speak it can be difficult to see how this quirks will pay off, but they do. So please don't beat yourself up!  My last piece of advice, with a high needs baby it is really easy to get burned out so MNO are not an option but a necessity. Dh will manage.  Go meet some friends for dinner, a movie,etc. it will help you to rejuvenate and better help her afterward.

     

    and ps.  Dd is a very easy going baby in comparison.  She sleeps anywhere, doesn't scream in e car like ds, etc.  (she does get fussier if I eat diary or gluten, but if I keep those out of my diet she is just as happy go lucky as can be). 

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  • Wow, I could have written this post myself (minus the colic and reflux, that sounds awful). DS also has to be constantly held, but not worn - god forbid mama has her hands lol! I get about 30mins in the morning when he wakes up where he plays on his playmat, and after that it's constant attention or he whines and cries.

    I have no advice, but I have plenty of commiseration *hugs* 

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  • My DS wasn't like this until a few weeks ago. He used to play on his own quite well.  Now it is either crawling over to me and standing with his hand on me at all times or crawling after me when I try to leave the room to do anything.  And CONSTANT whining.  I think it might be his first bit of separation anxiety and possibly teething.  But it is a phase that I am ready to see pass!
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  • Unfortunately I don't have too much advice, but I just wanted to say that you are not alone. This is my daughter exactly. I am hoping that it all gets better as one of the other posts said, but oh boy is it draining!!! Sending thoughts your way :)

     

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  • I have a high needs baby! Purchase The Fussy Baby Book by Dr. Sears. It has changed my life! 
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  • imagekdjudd:
    I have a high needs baby! Purchase The Fussy Baby Book by Dr. Sears. It has changed my life! 

    Thank you I will look that up!

  • DD is high needs, too. The Ergo is a lifesaver. I can't give her solids yet because of tummy issues, she barely sleeps, and basically the days get very long trying to entertain her since she can't do much.

    Can you get out of the house more? DD does well running errands and loves people watching. Also ditto PP comment about time to recharge your battery. Can you hire a sitter for a few hours during the week?
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • I really think more babies are like this than we hear of :)  I have a pretty needy little guy who wanted me to pick him up ALL the time too....they change when they are like 9 months old...wanting to see and do everything on thier own so hang in there! 
    I do think that around 6-8 months it is a good time to stop picking thelittle ones up every time they whine.... As hard as it is, try to redirect w/ a toy so they get used to becoming more indipendant, this will make them happier when they get a little older and mommy and daddy cannot pick them up at every whim...it's hard to do at first and you will deal w/ a ton of fits but if you nip it in the bud now you will save youself a LOT of headache later!!!  :)  Good luck momma, you are not alone :)
  • I could have written this post 2 1/2 years ago. My older son was a very high needs baby, with all of the reflux and colic issues that you list as well.

    Frankly, he still has many of those issues they have just changed a little over time. He has asthma and several food in tolerances now and I would consider him a high needs preschooler now as well. He still needs a lot of physical interaction and attention and often needs my and other peoples' undivided attention in order to not act out.

    He has always had sleeping issues and really those just sort of got resolved when he turned 3. I cannot tell you how many times we had to do CIO in his lifetime and he stopped napping at 18 months. He still frequently wakes up very early but we have learned to put him to bed at 7 PM to make up for this.

    My son has sensory processing disorder which I think was present as a baby as well. He craves a lot a sensory input loud noise, bright lights, running, screaming. He always enjoyed roughhousing even as a baby. He Seems completely normal to other people and it's only when you spend a great deal of time with him that you start to see these issues. As a baby he needed me to hold him all the time because he was unable to regulate all these sensory experiences and we still have a lot of that going on. He still has a very hard time selfregulating and knowing when to stop and I have to be his regulator.

    He often hit milestones a little bit more slowly than other kids as well but would eventually do them. He especially was late in speech and then all of a sudden had this huge explosion of speech. Turns out he would work on milestones one at a time instead of in tandem. Instead of working on social, motor, and speech all at once he would work on one at a time and then master one and move onto the next.

    Sorry for the novel, I just want you to maybe be aware of what could be coming if your child is like mine. Life is in no way bad with a child like this it just would've been a lot easier if I had known what was going on a lot earlier. We now work with occupational therapist mostly to help the family cope with sensory processing disorder and that has helped a lot.

    As for the food issues, I would eliminate dairy and soy from his diet if you think those are bothering him. When we did that with our second baby who was showing some same signs and bad colic, those symptoms disappeared after about two weeks. We see GI specialist and this is very common. His opinion is that most colic is caused by dairy and soy intolerance. You cannot eliminate dairy without also eliminating soy as they are genetically pretty much the same and the body recognizes them as the same protein.

    Also watch out for asthma. There is a huge link between reflux as an infant and asthma later. If your child seems to start having a lot of respiratory colds that last forever, get them into an allergy/asthma specialist right away because this will really help your sanity and your child!

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