tired of LOs asking for specific foods & refusing to eat it- wdyd?

groovygrl · December 2012

Just curious. My kids are almost 3 1/2. They have recently started this thing where they'll ask for a particular food for a meal (e.g. french toast sticks at bfast, grilled cheese at lunch, mac & cheese if we're at a restaurant, so nothing out of the ordinary/weird/new) and then when I make it or order it, refuse to eat it & ask for something differnet. Sometimes they won't even eat a bite of it before refusing or asking for something else. It's starting to drive me crazy & I will let them eat fruit but am refusing to make a new meal or order anything different. Unfortunately MH is a big pushover & if they say they're hungry, he'll make them something else or give them something else. i want them to learn that you can't ask for food & then refuse to eat it & get something different ,that it is wasteful & not acceptable. What do you do in this situation?

saturdaynightdoubletree · December 2012

I think they've learned your H is a pushover and they can get away with it. Kids this age are tough with "rules" because you make an exception once and they remember and always expect for the rule to be able to be broken. I generally only give my kids choices at breakfast or lunch - and it's choice a or choice b. If they don't eat it, they don't eat anything else. I usually leave it on the table 10 minutes and they eventually come back for it, or I put it in tupperware and when they say they are hungry that is what they can eat, once it is done and they're still hungry they can have snack. I try to involve them in the prep, even if it's as simple as pushing down the toaster button for waffles, and that is usually a motivator. They also are more apt to eat if I let them spread their own butter, sprinkle their own parmesan cheese, and other silly little independent things. Dinner is almost always a family meal, but I know certain things the kids won't eat so I plan ahead on those nights. GL! I know I am lucky that my kids generally eat anything and everything and that is not the norm, I can't imagine a battle at every meal Sad

1026pumpkin · December 2012

PP has good advice! We usually give a choice a or b, though if he asks for something specific and it's reasonable, we'll do it. I also usually have a few different things with each meal like for breakfast if he asks for a waffle, I'll also put some fruit and a little yogurt on his plate so there's some variety. If he refuses it, we leave it until he's ready to eat and keep reoffering if he says he's hungry. He usually eats it eventually.

groovygrl · December 2012

Thanks...MH is actually not usually home for these episodes but on the days when he does give their bfast or lunch, he will give in & give multiple things (or equally annoying, he makes way too much for them & we end up having to toss it...grrrr...not their fault tho). For weekday bfast they generally get a choice of pancake or f.t. sticks and then if they want yogurt or cottage cheese with it they can have it. they will choose one and then will say yes or no to the yogurt/cc. DD in particular is the one I'm struggling with (generally she is usually the one I struggle with on all things)... she will say she wants pancake & yogurt. Then she will not touch the yogurt beyond one bite, maybe will eat the pancake & then asks for the f.t. sticks after that. I told her she's not getting yogurt anymore for awhile b/c I have thrown out at least 4 of them in the last week or so after she specially asked for it. I think what is making me the most nuts is that it makes us late to daycare/work every day b/c they are such a pain at bfast- I greatly miss my old daycare which served breakfast!!!!!

Today she insisted she wanted grilled cheese for lunch & didn't take one bite but of course cried & freaked out when I finally took it away after 15 minutes or longer & told her lunch was over. I don't tend to give in on it & I tell them if they don't eat it, the meal is over but she continues to do it at like 1 out of 3 meals on average. Then in the morning she'll tell me her stomach hurts b/c she is really hungry which makes me feel terrible and I remind her that she refused to eat dinner the night before but it is not changing her behavior at all. Oh well, this too shall pass right?

superaunt · December 2012

she eats what she asks for or doesn't eat at all. we made the mistake once of ordering something else at a restaurant after she asked for a change and she still didn't eat it. so now if she asks for something- at home or out- and then doesn't eat it and asks for something else, she absolutely doesn't get it. she'll eat when she's hungry.

highlights · December 2012

Either he eats it, or he goes hungry.

One time I wouldn't let him leave the table until he had taken a few bites of it. It was a terrible experience, but its seemed to work.

llc730 · January 2013

I think you need to talk to MH about toughening up in this area unless you want to become short order cooks. We have very few problems with DD in the food area because DH and I got on the same page from the very begining. You eat the food that is in front of you (she gets choices for breakfast and lunch) or you don't. I don't make a big deal about it but I don't give in either. It is not about winning a battle. It is about not participating in the battle in the first place. She still tries to push the limits (she wouldn't be a normal toddler if she didn't) but since she never gets anywhere with it she gives up pretty quickly.