Ever just feel like you just don't want to even try anymore? Some cycle's (This is cycle 6) it seems like everyone you know is suddenly baking babies, and they didn't even have to preheat their ovens for a few months. This month was one of those for me.
It's just one of those days where I am just like, God, I know when it's time, it's time, but can't it be now? Today I am just not in the mood for TTC.
But I know when my time comes like everyone else, I am going to ADORE that child to no end. Just today I'm not in the mood for baby things.
Re: Ever just want to throw in the towel?
it can definitely suck at times, especially because when you are actively ttc, you notice every single little baby-related thing that you probably wouldnt notice otherwise. i'm sorry you're having a rough time. just hang in there and try (even though it's hard) to focus your attention elsewhere, or you can drive yourself bonkers! good luck to you
eta: didnt answer your original question: no, i have never wanted to throw in the towel. even though it sucks, i have been anticipating that this would take a while, and the wait will be soooo worth it in the end.
BFP #1 12/14/2010 EDD 8/24/2011, D&C due to blighted ovum 01/27/2011
BFP #2 05/02/2011 EDD 1/10/2012, MC at 4W2D 05/04/2011
Diagnosed with homozygous C677T MTHFR - Lovenox shots while TTC
BFP #3 08/01/2011 EDD 04/07/2012, DD born 03/29/2012
Started TTC #2 12/2012 on Arixtra due to Lovenox/heparin allergy
BFP #1 03/19/2013 EDD 11/24/2013, MC at 5W 3/24/2013
June/July 2013 - Clomid 100 MG CD 5-9 + TI = BFN
July/August 2013 - Clomid 100 MG CD 5-9 + IUI = BFN
August/September 2013 - Femara 5 MG CD 3-7 + IUI = BFN
LMP 9/11 Unmedicated cycle - BFP 10/11, EDD 6/21/14 Born 6/2/14
I haven't wanted to just give up, at least not yet, but I have been discouraged at times. I'm on month #6 but still waiting to O in cycle 4. My body hasn't been cooperating the way I expected it to since stopping birth control and I've been sick around O time for two cycles now, which has been very frustrating.
There are times when I feel like I'm over the whole process. It's a roller coaster ride every cycle and it's disappointing to know you're doing everything you can, your timing is good, and it doesn't work. I know it's still early and that we just have to patient but that's not always easy.
I can definitely sympathize. I am such a weirdo these days, as soon as I find out someone is pregnant the first thought that pops into my head is "I wonder how long it took them?" just because I worry that I'm not already KU (this is cycle 5 for us and I was also naive and thought it would happen right away).
But no, I never want to stop trying. My husband and I want a baby more than anything.
I feel ya today. An old frienemy just had a little one. Some ppl go from not wanting kids to mommy so fast. I just found out she was pregnant. I truly believe it will happen for me when it is supposed to...but that jealous bug just bit. I am happy for her...somewhere deep down. My turn!
As for not wanting to try......no way! Wish I was Oing right now.
I agree....I never not want the baby, but the months of trying get tiring and feel endless...even though I haven't been trying as long as some others. And I definitely notice more babies baking now that my oven is pre-heated and empty too...I just woke up this morning to Kim Kardashian's baby news (I don't even keep up with her junk but it was on my facebook page from someone else when I looked this am!). I was just hoping for some Christmas or New Year's news of my own!
**Siggy/Ticker Warning**
TTC #1 since May 2012
May 2013: First R.E. appointment
DH: SA is good
May 2013: CD3 Blood work-normal
June 2013: Hsg-Right tube blocked
July 26, 2013: Starting Follistim for IVF #1
August 2013: IVF #1 Cancelled- Abnormal embryos
October/November 2013: IVF #2 w/ICSI
November 8, 2013: Transferred two early blasts (no frosties)
November 18, 2013: First EVER BFP!
Beta#1: 91 Beta#2: 288
1st U/S- 5w2d Saw yolk sac!
3rd U/S- 7w4d HB of 157bpm!
TEAM BLUE!
http://movingtolight.blogspot.com/
I know how you feel - the end of cycle 8 was particularly hard for me. I turned 30 the begining of cycle 9, and really wanted to be pregnant by the time I turned 30, also knowing that "most" couples get pregnant before 8 months, it made me feel like we weren't 'normal'. (yes, I know up to a year is "normal" - but even on the informal polls we did on here showed that the majority got pregnant within 8 months). That was my breaking point (or at least one of them).
I actually had to step away - no The Bump, no temping, no OPTs (we weren't avoiding, but not actively trying). I needed a few months to not think about TTC - which were VERY refreshing for me. It didn't mean I wanted a baby any less, but I realized I had to attainable goals as my priorities - so I could feel like I was actually making progress in at least one part of my life (worked for a promotion at work, started losing weight, etc...).
I've never wanted to give up.
I've questioned whether I'm strong enough or not though to go through this process.
lots of to my TBBFF Sothernpeach80 - BABY ETHAN IS HERE! 02.04.13
TTC #1 since Jan 2012
BFP #1 07/27/12 - EDD 04/07/13; C/P on 07/31/12
BFP #2 10/11/12 - EDD 06/24/13; Blighted Ovum; D&C 11/30/12
BFP #3 03/10/13 - EDD 11/17/13 - PLEASE BE OUR TAKE HOME BABY!
Beta #1 - 95.8 (12DPO); Beta #2 - 502 (15DPO); Beta #3 - 2003 (18DPO)
First U/S showed one beautiful baby measuring 7w1d with a HR of 148!!! Second U/S showed baby measuring 9w0d with a HR of 173!!!
My Ugly BFP Chart
“I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -Mother Teresa
Spontaneous pregnancy #1
DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!
Married June 2010.
DD born 1/13 via Csection at 41w5d after 47 hours of labor
I've had bad days TTC this time around. When I had my CP, the end of the cycle after it one of DH's friends announced a pregnancy and "they got pregnant on the first cycle", a pregnant friend on FB is complaining that she can barely handle one, when she's pregnant with #2, after using fertility treatments.
But, no, I've never wanted to give up. I just know that I'm older now, it's not going to be as easy as it was when I was 20 and 22.
TTC #1 since February 2011
Me: 29 (3/5/13- high NK cells) DH: 28 (5/8/12- MFI low morph and motility)
Cycle #21 (IUI#1), Cycle #22 (HSG 9/21/12) and Cycle #23 (IUI#2)=
Cycle #24- December Snow Bunny IVF #1
ER 12/6/12 (14R, 11M, 9F), ET 12/9/12 transferred 2 day 3 embies
Bleeding and low betas=very cautious C/P 5W3D
Cycle #26 March Lucky Duck- FET #1
scheduled 3/20/13- CANCELLED- lining issues
Cycle #27 May Emerald- FET #1.2
delayed- Starting Trental for 3 months + natural cycles Cycle #28-30=
Cycle #31 August Shooting Star- FET #1.3
transferred 1 hatching blast 8/21/13= Betas 8/30 (108) and 9/3 (565)
U/S 9/19/13- HR is 128! U/S #2 10/4/13- HR is 174!
It's a BOY!
Dx: Feb '13 - HSG shows clear tubes but minor diverticulitis; Borderline DOR; Low DHEA and low testosterone.
Moving on to IUI or IVF.
We've got a peen.....it's a boy!
Little man born 11.17.2013 via c-section
I understand completely. I turn on the TV today and the first thing I see was Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Not something that I would normally pay much attention to, but I just thought to myelf, poor Khloe :-( Last night was one of those nights and it turned in one of those days. I don't think I can stand another pregnancy announcement. I got so frustrated I started a blog, lol. Hopefully it will help vent my feelings. Hope your day gets better!
https://funkyuterus.blogspot.com/
I understand. Last cycle was particularly hard for me. It was my first cycle going back to temping after a break in actively TTC. DH was sick on O-1 and I had a mini-break down when he told me to "relax." Actually, I wrote a post on here about it because I was seriously ready to hurt him! I've thought about how nice it would be to just stop thinking about it and say we're happy with our lives as they are (and we are!) and start planning vacations, looking at the calendar to see when a play is coming to town instead of when AF is, putting money away for a lake house instead of a kid's college tuition.
Honestly, I've avoided the bump completely this month. Heck, I don't even recognize half the user names on here right now! I've been so wrapped up with Christmas things that I've barely thought about baby/TTC. It's been AMAZING!
April 2013: Femara + Trigger + IUI = ???
I have sometimes wondered if it would ever happen, but I have never considered giving up. The first year was the hardest truthfully, because I still had high hopes that my odds were good.
As crazy as that sounds, after I passed the year mark and the IF diagnosis, and came to terms with the reality of my situation, it got easier. January will be 24 months, and 19 cycles for us. We have Unexplained IF, and our RE gave us about 4% odds of conceiving naturally.. We are still trying. I give myself a day to feel disappointed/cry/react however I feel each CD1, and then I try to move on, because for me, dwelling on the negaitve can quickly bring me down.
I think it's good to allow yourself to feel how you are feeling, but also acknowledge that if there are things/situations/etc. that make things worse for you, to take a step back. If I am having a bad day, I don't get on FB because I don't want to resent other people's positive news because I am having a bad day.
Anyways, I went off on a tanget, but hope it helps. Just my 2 cents. Keep your chin up.
** After 2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl came to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **
I haven't been trying very long (this is cycle 7 for us), but after about month 3 or so, after each BFN or AF I sometimes get quite mopey and hopeless, feeling like this is never going to happen. It's really hard to imagine 2 lines at this point!
I think I too easily feel sorry for myself, and I want to change that. I also need to stop comparing myself to all our friends who got pregnant their first time trying.
That was my first thought as well. It must be really tough.
TTC Since Aug 2011/
ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)
IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan
Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn
My Chart//>
TTC Since Aug 2011/
ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)
IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan
Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn
My Chart//>
TTC Since Aug 2011/
ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)
IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan
Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn
My Chart//>
well, as you can see from my siggy, I am a fighter!
That being said I have learned to really enjoy life because it can all flash by if you don't pay attention. I am about to start Ivf #3, so not giving up for me just keep moving forward.
TTC Since Aug 2011/
ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)
IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan
Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn
My Chart//>
О Привязать! Z!
Love this.
** After 2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl came to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **
GG! Love seeing you around these parts again!
TTC #1 since February 2011
Me: 29 (3/5/13- high NK cells) DH: 28 (5/8/12- MFI low morph and motility)
Cycle #21 (IUI#1), Cycle #22 (HSG 9/21/12) and Cycle #23 (IUI#2)=
Cycle #24- December Snow Bunny IVF #1
ER 12/6/12 (14R, 11M, 9F), ET 12/9/12 transferred 2 day 3 embies
Bleeding and low betas=very cautious C/P 5W3D
Cycle #26 March Lucky Duck- FET #1
scheduled 3/20/13- CANCELLED- lining issues
Cycle #27 May Emerald- FET #1.2
delayed- Starting Trental for 3 months + natural cycles Cycle #28-30=
Cycle #31 August Shooting Star- FET #1.3
transferred 1 hatching blast 8/21/13= Betas 8/30 (108) and 9/3 (565)
U/S 9/19/13- HR is 128! U/S #2 10/4/13- HR is 174!
It's a BOY!
Me: 36 - slight DOR (AMH: 1.1), decent OAR; DH: 41 - Morphology 4%
NTNP July-Aug 2014, ATTC Sept 2014-Present
October 2014 - CP
July 2015 - Clomid + #1 IUI = BFN
September 2015 - Clomid + #2 IUI = CP
October 2015 - Letrozole (5 follies - yay!) + #3 IUI = BFN
November 2015 - CP
December 2015 - CP
February 2016 - Letrozole + #4 IUI = CP
April 2016 - CP
May/June 2016 - IVF #1 and IUI #5 (Estrace + Follistim + micro-hCG + HGH) = BFN
Struggled to conceive #1 2012-2013
Clomid #1: March 2013 - BFN; Clomid + IUI: May 2013 CXL; BFP on 4/22/13 = Baby Boy #1 1/1/14