Ever just want to throw in the towel?

goldengirlamy · December 2012

Ever just feel like you just don't want to even try anymore? Some cycle's (This is cycle 6) it seems like everyone you know is suddenly baking babies, and they didn't even have to preheat their ovens for a few months. This month was one of those for me.

It's just one of those days where I am just like, God, I know when it's time, it's time, but can't it be now? Today I am just not in the mood for TTC.

But I know when my time comes like everyone else, I am going to ADORE that child to no end. Just today I'm not in the mood for baby things.

LaurenAsh23 · December 2012

No...I will always want a baby. But yes, sometimes it's hard and I get discouraged.

nlscroggins · December 2012

it can definitely suck at times, especially because when you are actively ttc, you notice every single little baby-related thing that you probably wouldnt notice otherwise. i'm sorry you're having a rough time. just hang in there and try (even though it's hard) to focus your attention elsewhere, or you can drive yourself bonkers! good luck to you

eta: didnt answer your original question: no, i have never wanted to throw in the towel. even though it sucks, i have been anticipating that this would take a while, and the wait will be soooo worth it in the end.

tdf2010 · December 2012

I definitely got discouraged when TTC #1. This time around, my expectations are a lot lower. I'm not expecting to get pregnant within the first 6 months (it took 12 with #1), but that doesn't stop me from still trying.

spacepotatoes · December 2012

I haven't wanted to just give up, at least not yet, but I have been discouraged at times. I'm on month #6 but still waiting to O in cycle 4. My body hasn't been cooperating the way I expected it to since stopping birth control and I've been sick around O time for two cycles now, which has been very frustrating.

There are times when I feel like I'm over the whole process. It's a roller coaster ride every cycle and it's disappointing to know you're doing everything you can, your timing is good, and it doesn't work. I know it's still early and that we just have to patient but that's not always easy.

Ajoyd · December 2012

I can definitely sympathize. I am such a weirdo these days, as soon as I find out someone is pregnant the first thought that pops into my head is "I wonder how long it took them?" just because I worry that I'm not already KU (this is cycle 5 for us and I was also naive and thought it would happen right away).

But no, I never want to stop trying. My husband and I want a baby more than anything.

burmann · December 2012

I feel ya today. An old frienemy just had a little one. Some ppl go from not wanting kids to mommy so fast. I just found out she was pregnant. I truly believe it will happen for me when it is supposed to...but that jealous bug just bit. I am happy for her...somewhere deep down. My turn!

As for not wanting to try......no way! Wish I was Oing right now.

krdesi · December 2012

I agree....I never not want the baby, but the months of trying get tiring and feel endless...even though I haven't been trying as long as some others. And I definitely notice more babies baking now that my oven is pre-heated and empty too...I just woke up this morning to Kim Kardashian's baby news (I don't even keep up with her junk but it was on my facebook page from someone else when I looked this am!). I was just hoping for some Christmas or New Year's news of my own!

rbtrumpet · December 2012

I know how you feel - the end of cycle 8 was particularly hard for me. I turned 30 the begining of cycle 9, and really wanted to be pregnant by the time I turned 30, also knowing that "most" couples get pregnant before 8 months, it made me feel like we weren't 'normal'. (yes, I know up to a year is "normal" - but even on the informal polls we did on here showed that the majority got pregnant within 8 months). That was my breaking point (or at least one of them).

I actually had to step away - no The Bump, no temping, no OPTs (we weren't avoiding, but not actively trying). I needed a few months to not think about TTC - which were VERY refreshing for me. It didn't mean I wanted a baby any less, but I realized I had to attainable goals as my priorities - so I could feel like I was actually making progress in at least one part of my life (worked for a promotion at work, started losing weight, etc...).

lobosabby · December 2012

I've never wanted to give up.

I've questioned whether I'm strong enough or not though to go through this process.

pettycrocker · December 2012

I feel like that sometimes. Or at least just taking a break for a while. I just started cycle 9, and I just feel like I am tired of constantly thinking about TTC so much. I just want to focus on other things for a while. I'm just trying to take a more laid back approach.

MrsW062610 · December 2012

I am having a rough day as well. But that doesn't mean I want to throw in the towel. It is tough though - the majority of my friends got pregnant accidentally and that really frustrates me (though I know they aren't taking a baby away from me). I keep thinking is something is wrong with me or DH. Anyway - hang in there and just remember that when you finally get your BFP it's going to be amazing!

Tamma254 · December 2012

I've had bad days TTC this time around. When I had my CP, the end of the cycle after it one of DH's friends announced a pregnancy and "they got pregnant on the first cycle", a pregnant friend on FB is complaining that she can barely handle one, when she's pregnant with #2, after using fertility treatments.

But, no, I've never wanted to give up. I just know that I'm older now, it's not going to be as easy as it was when I was 20 and 22.

Nichole0220 · December 2012

I understand !! I have several times just wanted to give up... I get so wrapped up into this ttc and I get so heartbroken every month even when I try to mentally prepare myself .

jschwind22 · December 2012

I am about to enter cycle 25, but I have not yet wanted to give up, and certainly not after 6 cycles. There have been a lot of tears and frustrations, but not yet hopelessness.

Svenny1011 · December 2012

Actually, yes. And I'm coming to a realization that if I don't get KU successfully by the end of the year, I may call it quits. I just don't think I have it in me for the long haul to try through IVF, etc. I feel like I'm missing out on other things in my life, and that TTC has become somewhat of a burden on our marriage. Sadly, I've already starting coming to terms with the possibility of not being able to have children. It sucks, but it is reality at this point.

EllieEsco · December 2012

I understand completely. I turn on the TV today and the first thing I see was Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Not something that I would normally pay much attention to, but I just thought to myelf, poor Khloe :-( Last night was one of those nights and it turned in one of those days. I don't think I can stand another pregnancy announcement. I got so frustrated I started a blog, lol. Hopefully it will help vent my feelings. Hope your day gets better!

https://funkyuterus.blogspot.com/

mmb248 · December 2012

I understand. Last cycle was particularly hard for me. It was my first cycle going back to temping after a break in actively TTC. DH was sick on O-1 and I had a mini-break down when he told me to "relax." Actually, I wrote a post on here about it because I was seriously ready to hurt him! I've thought about how nice it would be to just stop thinking about it and say we're happy with our lives as they are (and we are!) and start planning vacations, looking at the calendar to see when a play is coming to town instead of when AF is, putting money away for a lake house instead of a kid's college tuition.

Honestly, I've avoided the bump completely this month. Heck, I don't even recognize half the user names on here right now! I've been so wrapped up with Christmas things that I've barely thought about baby/TTC. It's been AMAZING!

GermanGirl2007 · December 2012

I have sometimes wondered if it would ever happen, but I have never considered giving up. The first year was the hardest truthfully, because I still had high hopes that my odds were good.

As crazy as that sounds, after I passed the year mark and the IF diagnosis, and came to terms with the reality of my situation, it got easier. January will be 24 months, and 19 cycles for us. We have Unexplained IF, and our RE gave us about 4% odds of conceiving naturally.. We are still trying. I give myself a day to feel disappointed/cry/react however I feel each CD1, and then I try to move on, because for me, dwelling on the negaitve can quickly bring me down.

I think it's good to allow yourself to feel how you are feeling, but also acknowledge that if there are things/situations/etc. that make things worse for you, to take a step back. If I am having a bad day, I don't get on FB because I don't want to resent other people's positive news because I am having a bad day.

Anyways, I went off on a tanget, but hope it helps. Just my 2 cents. Keep your chin up.

daisyrose85 · December 2012

I haven't been trying very long (this is cycle 7 for us), but after about month 3 or so, after each BFN or AF I sometimes get quite mopey and hopeless, feeling like this is never going to happen. It's really hard to imagine 2 lines at this point!

I think I too easily feel sorry for myself, and I want to change that. I also need to stop comparing myself to all our friends who got pregnant their first time trying.

daisyrose85 · December 2012

EllieEsco:
I turn on the TV today and the first thing I see was Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Not something that I would normally pay much attention to, but I just thought to myelf, poor Khloe :-(

That was my first thought as well. It must be really tough.

rrdiva1 · December 2012

lobosabby:

I've never wanted to give up.

I've questioned whether I'm strong enough or not though to go through this process.

You are one of the strong ones my love!!!! You can do it!

and I will be right here with ya

rrdiva1 · December 2012

thekikimonster:
I have definitely wanted to give up but that didn't come up until cycle 20, not cycle 6.

rrdiva1 · December 2012

GermanGirl2007:
I have sometimes wondered if it would ever happen, but I have never considered giving up. The first year was the hardest truthfully, because I still had high hopes that my odds were good.
As crazy as that sounds, after I passed the year mark and the IF diagnosis, and came to terms with the reality of my situation, it got easier. January will be 24 months, and 19 cycles for us. We have Unexplained IF, and our RE gave us about 4% odds of conceiving naturally.. We are still trying. I give myself a day to feel disappointed/cry/react however I feel each CD1, and then I try to move on, because for me, dwelling on the negaitve can quickly bring me down.
I think it's good to allow yourself to feel how you are feeling, but also acknowledge that if there are things/situations/etc. that make things worse for you, to take a step back. If I am having a bad day, I don't get on FB because I don't want to resent other people's positive news because I am having a bad day.
Anyways, I went off on a tanget, but hope it helps. Just my 2 cents. Keep your chin up.

I get giddy when I see you post!

rrdiva1 · December 2012

well, as you can see from my siggy, I am a fighter!

That being said I have learned to really enjoy life because it can all flash by if you don't pay attention. I am about to start Ivf #3, so not giving up for me just keep moving forward.

curlylocks3 · December 2012

I have been disappointed and discouraged but no, I haven't wanted to throw in the towel. I want a baby and I'm going to do whatever we can to become parents.

GermanGirl2007 · December 2012

rrdiva1:
well, as you can see from my siggy, I am a fighter!

That being said I have learned to really enjoy life because it can all flash by if you don't pay attention. I am about to start Ivf #3, so not giving up for me just keep moving forward.

Love this.

jschwind22 · December 2012

GermanGirl2007:
rrdiva1:
well, as you can see from my siggy, I am a fighter!

That being said I have learned to really enjoy life because it can all flash by if you don't pay attention. I am about to start Ivf #3, so not giving up for me just keep moving forward.
Love this.

GG! Love seeing you around these parts again!

goldengirlamy · December 2012

Thanks for everyone's comments. Last night I was having a down moment. I gotta be positive. I'm in my early 20's and my friends are all having the babies they want easy but for us it's taking much longer than 6th grade told me it would. I don't think we're ever going to give up, I just think if the next 3 months don't bring something, we're going to step away a bit. Just take a vacation maybe, do something different, I'll stop buying opk's and temping. Take up a new hobby or something. It's not that TTC control's my marriage, I just always feel like it's on my mind, and it's beginning to get exhausting.

adunkin · January 2013

Of course! Ditto to the peeps who said it's OK to throw a little pity party when AF arrives, so long as it doesn't last too long. And at cycle #10 lots of things make me feel like saying "oh f%ck it!" That doesn't change the fact that I want a baby and we'll keep trying in one way or another. Totally feel you and hope you had a big glass of vino to enjoy during your party! Wink

Ever just want to throw in the towel?

Re: Ever just want to throw in the towel?

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