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August 2012 Moms
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GIF STORY TIME!

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in August 2012 Moms

First thing you should know about me, I'm usually a very nice, mild mannered person

 Not very deep down inside is a petty b!tch, but I usually do a pretty good job of keeping her locked in the closet when I'm in public. She has a potty mouth and says mean things to people who wear leggings out as pants... she's fun to hang out with in the car during rush hour, but I don't unleash her to the general public often. 

 This story takes place on Boxing Day!

 Um no, Americans...

 Getting closer, but no.

Boxing Day in Canada and the UK is the day after Christmas when people *used* to box up their left overs and give them to the poor. Now we just have lame-ass sales and pretend to have a Black Friday of our very own...

 Usually my Boxing days are spent nursing a turkey coma

 

but this year I decided to go shopping because I needed a new camera card for my flacking UHHHMAZING new camera.

 H got home from work early, so I packed Miles up in the car and headed out, all...

 I thought it would be an ordinary, blissful afternoon in the life of C_mo, but little did I know, the she would be unleashed in little over an hour.

 I got to Staples (Is there Staples in the US? If not, it's a big stationary/electronics store) to fine hoards of people flocking in. There were more people rubbing together than at a Biebs concert.

 only these people were cold, so they had big poofy coats and toques

***NEW WORD ALERT!*** Let's say it together now! "tuuuuuuuuuk" A toque is a knitted hat. 

 Anyway, so there is a lineup longer than grandpappy's nose hairs (long), which is much longer than my patience, but I calmly get in line, all. 

 And then Miles starts crying... he doesn't want to be in the car seat anymore

 So I try my best to sooth him, all the while the woman in front of me is b!tching about how Christmas is just a corporate holiday and she must be the biggest scrooge in the whole world because she gets her rocks off burning christmas trees and punting kittens.

 After almost 15 minutes she gets up to the till. Miles is in full meltdown mode and I'm trying to keep calm. She pulls a flyer out of her fanny pack and says to the cashier

"I bought this last week and today it's on sale, so I want a refund"

My thoughts "Okay, people do this all the time, this shouldn't take long"

The Cashier looked it over a couple times and then said "I'm sorry, but we have to return the item and resell it to you, and since it's software we can't do it. We cannot legally return software"

My thoughts: 

 Lady: "WHAT? Are you kidding me? I was told when I bought it that I could do this if it went on sale! What kind of garbage is this?"

Cashier: "I'm very sorry, it's in the fine print. I'm sorry you were misled"

So the lady is all...

 And I'm all...

 And Miles is all...

 So the cashier goes to get help from 2 more people (in a store packed full of people waiting to be helped). They all come back, and the lady points to the flyer and says:

"I bought this last wheneverthefuck, for $32.99. It's on sale today for $28.99 and I want my money back"

THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE OF STAPLES, FOUR F*CKING DOLLARS!

 Miles is in full blown freak out mode, I'm starting to take him out of his car seat because I can see that it is going to be a while, and the lady turns to me and snarks:

"Well isn't he a loud one!?"

 I snapped. Full out b!tch mode, people.

I said "Heh, okay, I know that your four dollars is important to you or whatever, but can you take this elsewhere so I can pay for my sh!t?"

 She looked shocked for a moment and then said "um, THAT was uncalled for"

And then I was all

 Only it wasn't just a funny gif in my head, one of those things I would have wanted to say later... the words "F*ck you, lady!" actually escaped my mouth.  

So she grabbed her flyer and stormed out, and the cashier was all...

 and I was all...

 So I paid for my stuff, apologized and went to leave, and on my way out the cashier was all... 

 So while I felt like a horrible person, I also made the cashier's day better and had a pretty f*cking amazing story to tell H when I got home... I may never show my face in staples again.   

The end.  

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