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Pre-School and Daycare
My 3.5 yo should be getting coal for Xmas.
Does anyone else have a toddler who is so bad and undeserving? We bought our son pretty much everything he wanted and he's been nothing but bad. Whining, crying, waking up his baby sister all hours of the night, etc. just really bad. Obviously I'm not going to take Xmas away but I don't know what I should do. All those presents would be like rewarding him. Btw, this has been going on for a year. A YEAR! Every night we put him to bed and he calls from his room and/or comes back down at least 4-5 times before going to bed. Meanwhile I have a 6 month old trying to sleep across the hall. I'm so sick of it and wonder when its going to end. He thinks hes the boss and has terrible listening skills.
WWYD? I don't know if he's doing it on purpose or if he truly doesn't know any better.
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Re: My 3.5 yo should be getting coal for Xmas.
Have you read 123 Magic? It is only about $10 and you can read it in one sitting. It has some great tips.
My kid is no angel and can certainly be a PITA at times, but I'd look at your own attitude and behaviors and see if there's something you can/should adjust. It seems a little unfair to characterize a 3.5 yo as "bad" and undeserving. I'd look at the sleep habits and work on that first and also make sure he's getting lots of chances to get his energy out and to explore the world independently, but in a safe setting - preschool/daycare, playdates, etc.
This. Sleep is almost always the huge problem in our house. If DD doesn't get enough sleep she's a mess. So, I'd start there. Second, what have you tried? Sticker charts? Time outs? Consequences? And how much exercise / free run time does he get?
My advice is to check out a handful of parenting/discipline books from your library.
There are a ton of methods, and trains of thought on parenting, even on this board. And each parent is different. I could make a ton of suggestions and tell you what I do, and it probably won't be quite right for your family.
Get a few books, browse through. Return the crap. Then read in detail things that you think would work, then try implementing it for a few days/weeks, however long you're comfortable to try it.
FWIW, my favorite parenting book was written by Jo Frost, the Super Nanny lady. I found it to be a very positive book, and yet realistic.
GL.
This exactly. You want to feed the good behavior and starve the bad behavior. Meaning when he does a good thing make a big deal and when he does a "bad" thing just tell him what he did wrong and why it was wrong and move on. Don't feed into the behavior because then he is getting attention for it. To be honest they are just learning right from wrong and they actually don't really know what "sorry" is at this stage in the game. They have to learn compassion on their own through us teaching them.
I learned a lot while teaching but boy is it different when its your own kids
Exactly this. You're not alone. When I first had DS #2, DS#1 had just turned 3 years old and I thought I was going to lose my mind he was so naughty. I called my friend in tears and told her he was going end up a delinquent and the baby would remember the insanity when he was in therapy later in life:) Fast forward a year later and things are going much better. Some phases you just have to survive...wine and friends always helps.