SO ANGRY!!! wwyd?

cameron2424 · December 2012

I'm mostly a lurker but I was wanted to get your feedback and what would you do in this situation?

So I just started my LO in day care. He has been there for 2 weeks now. Apparently, there is another boy in my LO's class that has the same name and initials, although he has a different last name. Today, I found out that the day care had been giving my milk (formula) to the other child. While feeding my baby breast milk that was brought in by the other child's mother. Basically, my child has been eating for 2 weeks straight some strange woman's breast milk. WTF? I'm soooooo angry right now and am unsure about what to do...I had to leave daycare and basically told them that I needed to calm down first before talking with them.

How would you feel and what would you do?

alizabethanne · December 2012

I dont know what I would do.... but I would be majorly pissed.

drbethc · December 2012

alizabethanne:
I dont know what I would do.... but I would be majorly pissed.

this!

Meery82 · December 2012

Wow, I feel the same as the other ladies. I'm not totally sure what kinds of things can be passed through breast milk. You might want to let your pedi know in case there is any chance of your LO catching anything from the other mom.

JessieCupcake · December 2012

I would be majorly flipping out. I'd take the baby to the pedi and be talking to a lawyer.

stepper1725 · December 2012

I'd probably be pretty upset about that. According to the CDC, the risk of transmitting disease through breast milk is really low, but you'd probably want to get your baby tested.

https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm

Honestly, it seems like it could easily happen at a daycare one time. But multiple times? That's some serious oversight. How did you find out about this?

cameron2424 · December 2012

stepper1725:
I'd probably be pretty upset about that. According to the CDC, the risk of transmitting disease through breast milk is really low, but you'd probably want to get your baby tested.
https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm
Honestly, it seems like it could easily happen at a daycare one time. But multiple times? That's some serious oversight. How did you find out about this?

This apparently had been happening since day 1. They got it mixed up and continued to do the same thing. I found out today. One of the staff members told me that I should take home the rest of the Breast milk since we would be on christmas vacation as she didn't want it to go bad. I was like, "Breast milk?" and thats when they discovered that they had been giving my ds someone else's milk.

Samiantha101 · December 2012

I would change daycare stat. If they overlook something quite important for a good length of time, I can only imagine what else can be overlooked. Accidents happen, however I would think this was more carelessness than an accident. Absolutely talk to your pedi. I would demand any enrollment fee, etc back and say hasta la vista.

jamiah18 · December 2012

Wow! That is completely irresponsible of this daycare. I give you credit for not flipping out on them. I hope they let the other mom know that her child was getting formula. I agree with the other posters, I would contact your pedi and possibly even a lawyer, just in case. Good luck.

anonsouthernbell · December 2012

I would ask the other mom if she would supply a copy of her bloodworm from pregnancy and ask her if she is currently taking any medications. I would also be pissed if I was the other mom! (I would be if I were you as we'll). But here she worked hard to pump that milk and her child didnt even get it. Plus, if she hasn't given formula at all to her child, then her child's virgin gut was destroyed. I would def start by talking to her. Ugh for both of you!!!

AliciaS1411 · December 2012

anonsouthernbell:
I would ask the other mom if she would supply a copy of her bloodworm from pregnancy and ask her if she is currently taking any medications. I would also be pissed if I was the other mom! (I would be if I were you as we'll). But here she worked hard to pump that milk and her child didnt even get it. Plus, if she hasn't given formula at all to her child, then her child's virgin gut was destroyed. I would def start by talking to her. Ugh for both of you!!!

I think this is very good advice. I'd want to know as much about the mom's medical information as she can give you. I'd establish a bond with her ASAP, Get your child to the pedi, get your money back from the daycare, and if they want to fight you on it, call a lawyer.

doxgirl · December 2012

I would change daycares. They obviously don't have enough checks and balances in place. My child's bottles are labeled with her first and last name. The teacher watches me put them in the fridge. The empty bottles are back in her bag. I get a detailed list at end of the day with exact amount she ate. Breastfed babies typically eat less oz than formula fed.

The daycare should pay to have your child and the mother to have blood work done. I would also call your state's licensing agency and report this.

Gismo123 · December 2012

cameron2424:
I'm mostly a lurker but I was wanted to get your feedback and what would you do in this situation?nbsp;So I just started my LO in day care. He has been there for 2 weeks now. Apparently, there is another boy in my LO's class that has the same name and initials, although he has a different last name. Today, I found out that the day care had been giving my milk formula to the other child. While feeding my baby breast milk that was brought in by the other child's mother. Basically, my child has been eating for 2 weeks straight some strange woman's breast milk. WTF? I'm soooooo angry right now and am unsure about what to do...I had to leave daycare and basically told them that I needed to calm down first before talking with them.How would you feel and what would you do?nbsp;

First I would get LO tested and have the bill sent to the daycare. Then I would get a lawyer and sue the hell out of these people. NOT acceptable at all....if they can goof up something simple like that then they should not be in charge of a baby's delicate life.

Also I would be calling all the local news stations about this, they love stories like that.

Sigir · December 2012

Ppers have given good advice about reaching out to the other mom and getting a pedi apt stat. I am not a sue happy person but I totally agree... Calling a lawyer this morning would be my next priority.

Ita that local news stations would love this story but you probably don't want this spotlight on your family in the long run.

Finally, never leave your child at this daycare again... But I am sure that is obvious!

ladygeek83 · December 2012

I agree with most of what the previous posters said - I would be angry if I were either you or the other mother, and the fact that this continued for 2 weeks shows that it's a day care that doesn't put a priority on being cautious or organized. I would think it would be prudent to have the other mother/your child tested for potential spread of disease (though it is unlikely) and make the day care pay for it. Personally, I probably wouldn't get a lawyer or news media involved, but I would take my child out of the day care and would notify the necessary licensing/government authorities of this oversight so they can investigate and take necessary action.against the day care (ie, revoke license) if needed. I would focus my energy on making sure that sort of thing never happens again rather than sue the provider for damages, assuming my child wasn't actually harmed by the oversight.

acbfreire · December 2012

It is a much more serious issue because some diseases will only show in tests in the long run. I would ask for a written note from DC stating what happened and so that you have proof of their mistake. Then, I would lawyer up, because you will have a long time of testing LO ahead of you.

A hospital in MN switched infants and they got breastfed by the wrong mom a couple of times. The hospital stated that will pay for the children's testing for up to a year (including HIV testing). I would also add any other medical expenses related to this error.

Really sorry to hear that. GL

cameron2424 · December 2012

anonsouthernbell:
I would ask the other mom if she would supply a copy of her bloodworm from pregnancy and ask her if she is currently taking any medications. I would also be pissed if I was the other mom! (I would be if I were you as we'll). But here she worked hard to pump that milk and her child didnt even get it. Plus, if she hasn't given formula at all to her child, then her child's virgin gut was destroyed. I would def start by talking to her. Ugh for both of you!!!

The school doesnt want me contacting the other mother yet as the school has not informed her yet. The other family is on holiday as they put it and they are waiting for them to return in Jan 2013...I'm so pissed. I dont know what to do. I spoke to 1 other mother that I met and told her about it. She said that she'd be concerned as she knows the other mother is a smoker!!!! I'm furious and have to keep my mouth shut til Jan...What about my family vacation? It's ruined! I need to look into talking to an attorney.

stepper1725 · December 2012

cameron2424:
anonsouthernbell:
I would ask the other mom if she would supply a copy of her bloodworm from pregnancy and ask her if she is currently taking any medications. I would also be pissed if I was the other mom! (I would be if I were you as we'll). But here she worked hard to pump that milk and her child didnt even get it. Plus, if she hasn't given formula at all to her child, then her child's virgin gut was destroyed. I would def start by talking to her. Ugh for both of you!!!
The school doesnt want me contacting the other mother yet as the school has not informed her yet. The other family is on holiday as they put it and they are waiting for them to return in Jan 2013...I'm so pissed. I dont know what to do. I spoke to 1 other mother that I met and told her about it. She said that she'd be concerned as she knows the other mother is a smoker!!!! I'm furious and have to keep my mouth shut til Jan...What about my family vacation? It's ruined! I need to look into talking to an attorney.

Does the other mother you spoke to know the BM mother's name & contact info? I'd just contact her myself without going through the daycare. Personally, I'd be more worried about communicable disease than any nicotine/ cigarette chemicals. The fact that she smokes is really the least of your worries.

Sigir · December 2012

cameron2424:
anonsouthernbell:
I would ask the other mom if she would supply a copy of her bloodworm from pregnancy and ask her if she is currently taking any medications.  I would also be pissed if I was the other mom!  (I would be if I were you as we'll).  But here she worked hard to pump that milk and her child didnt even get it.  Plus, if she hasn't given formula at all to her child, then her child's virgin gut was destroyed.  I would def start by talking to her. Ugh for both of you!!!
 
The school doesnt want me contacting the other mother yet as the school has not informed her yet. The other family is on holiday as they put it and they are waiting for them to return in Jan 2013...I'm so pissed. I dont know what to do.  I spoke to 1 other mother that I met and told her about it. She said that she'd be concerned as she knows the other mother is a smoker!!!!  I'm furious and have to keep my mouth shut til Jan...What about my family vacation? It's ruined! I need to look into talking to an attorney.  

I would start making some demands here and inform them you are lawyering up and will be reporting them, because in this day and age there is no reason someone can not be reached via cel phone in an emergency. Well, there are some places but they are few and far between, and the daycare is not responding appropriately by not at the very least offering to try to reach them over their vacation. Their response would not be acceptable to me. I would be down there in person until I got some better answers. This is a health issue.

What has your ped said?

jess9802 · December 2012

I would contact your pediatrician, then I would contact the licensing board that regulates daycare providers in your state. I wouldn't bother with a lawyer at this point, if ever.

stepper1725 · December 2012

jess9802:
I would contact your pediatrician, then I would contact the licensing board that regulates daycare providers in your state. I wouldn't bother with a lawyer at this point, if ever.

Ditto. I don't really think this is something worth suing over. That seems extreme to me. Now, if your child contracted a disease from the milk, I could see a lawsuit. I know you're freaked out, but throughout history people have used wet nurses, people use milk banks. Again, the risk of any disease is very, very low. So, was it a huge oversite? Yes. Should you switch daycares? Absolutely. But suing? I don't think it's worth the time & effort involved to pursue it.

emberlee3 · December 2012

jess9802:
I would contact your pediatrician, then I would contact the licensing board that regulates daycare providers in your state. I wouldn't bother with a lawyer at this point, if ever.

This

Meery82 · December 2012

The smoking just adds insult to injury. Yuck! I would be livid!! I'm really sorry you and your baby have to deal with this. That kind of carelessness is just unacceptable. Please keep us updated as to what happens. Good luck!

cameron2424 · December 2012

stepper1725:
jess9802:
I would contact your pediatrician, then I would contact the licensing board that regulates daycare providers in your state. I wouldn't bother with a lawyer at this point, if ever.
Ditto. I don't really think this is something worth suing over. That seems extreme to me. Now, if your child contracted a disease from the milk, I could see a lawsuit. I know you're freaked out, but throughout history people have used wet nurses, people use milk banks. Again, the risk of any disease is very, very low. So, was it a huge oversite? Yes. Should you switch daycares? Absolutely. But suing? I don't think it's worth the time & effort involved to pursue it.

I definitely don't want to sue...However, I wanted to get some legal advice. I contacted the pedi and he doesn't seemed concerned. He even made a joke about it and said, " at least he got some breastmilk." Ugh, WTF? Anyway, his point was that DS had been given the milk for 2 weeks now and he seems ok...He's only concern is if the mother is HIV pos. And that was his only concern. My DH is dealing with the center and we are hoping to get in contact with the other mother today.

acbfreire · December 2012

cameron2424:
stepper1725:
jess9802:
I would contact your pediatrician, then I would contact the licensing board that regulates daycare providers in your state. I wouldn't bother with a lawyer at this point, if ever.
Ditto. I don't really think this is something worth suing over. That seems extreme to me. Now, if your child contracted a disease from the milk, I could see a lawsuit. I know you're freaked out, but throughout history people have used wet nurses, people use milk banks. Again, the risk of any disease is very, very low. So, was it a huge oversite? Yes. Should you switch daycares? Absolutely. But suing? I don't think it's worth the time & effort involved to pursue it.

I definitely don't want to sue...However, I wanted to get some legal advice. I contacted the pedi and he doesn't seemed concerned. He even made a joke about it and said, " at least he got some breastmilk." Ugh, WTF? Anyway, his point was that DS had been given the milk for 2 weeks now and he seems ok...He's only concern is if the mother is HIV pos. And that was his only concern. My DH is dealing with the center and we are hoping to get in contact with the other mother today.

you may not want to sue now, but take measures as if you were, because you may change your mind. I wouldn't take this lightly.

jess9802 · December 2012

Well, I'm only licensed to practice law in Oregon, so this doesn't really constitute legal advice, but...

Unless your child contracted some illness, consuming someone else's breastmilk is not likely a compensable harm.

naybird · December 2012

I would call a lawyer ASAP. It sounds like the daycare is not handling this appropriately or not seeing this as a serious matter. If you get an attorney involved, they will start to see how serious this matter really is and start giving you the answers and information you need. Sometimes unless legal action is threatened people won't respond.

This is a serious mistake that should not have been made. Especially for two weeks. Your DS will likely have to have his blood drawn every month for at least a year because someone was not doing their job properly.

I would not handle this lightly. Good luck.

naybird · December 2012

stepper1725:

jess9802:
I would contact your pediatrician, then I would contact the licensing board that regulates daycare providers in your state. I wouldn't bother with a lawyer at this point, if ever.

Ditto. I don't really think this is something worth suing over. That seems extreme to me. Now, if your child contracted a disease from the milk, I could see a lawsuit. I know you're freaked out, but throughout history people have used wet nurses, people use milk banks. Again, the risk of any disease is very, very low. So, was it a huge oversite? Yes. Should you switch daycares? Absolutely. But suing? I don't think it's worth the time & effort involved to pursue it.

But it is their CHOICE to use a wet nurse. This woman did not choose some other woman's breast milk for her child. This is clearly negligence on the day cares part and if serious action is not taken, they will never learn their lesson and this could happen again, or something worse.

stepper1725 · December 2012

naybird:
But it is their CHOICE to use a wet nurse.&nbsp

yes, obviously. My point was just to reiterate that the act of a child receiving breast milk from another woman is not unheard of and that the risk of disease transmission is very low. I totally agree that this is a huge mistake on their part. Personally, I think that pulling the child out of the daycare and reporting the incident to the state would be a better course of action than "lawyering up". A daycare needs to maintain it's license in order to stay open. Reporting the incident directly to the state seems much more effective strategy to get the daycare to fix its mistakes and prevent this, or something worse, from happening in the future. Also, and perhaps this is just ignorance on my part, but if the other mother is tested and is free of HIV, TB, and human T-cell lymphotropic virus type I or type II, why does the child need repeated testing every month for a year? Even in the VERY RARE case that the other mother has just recently contracted HIV and does not yet test positive, I don't see why repeated monthly testing would ever be necessary. https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/disease/index.htm

giraffe54 · December 2012

stepper1725:
naybird:
But it is their CHOICE to use a wet nurse.
yes, obviously. My point was just to reiterate that the act of a child receiving breast milk from another woman is not unheard of and that the risk of disease transmission is very low. I totally agree that this is a huge mistake on their part. Personally, I think that pulling the child out of the daycare and reporting the incident to the state would be a better course of action than "lawyering up". A daycare needs to maintain it's license in order to stay open. Reporting the incident directly to the state seems much more effective strategy to get the daycare to fix its mistakes and prevent this, or something worse, from happening in the future. Also, and perhaps this is just ignorance on my part, but if the other mother is tested and is free of HIV, TB, and human T-cell lymphotropic virus type I or type II, why does the child need repeated testing every month for a year? Even in the VERY RARE case that the other mother has just recently contracted HIV and does not yet test positive, I don't see why repeated monthly testing would ever be necessary. https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/disease/index.htm

I think the repeated testing is due to the window of when a disease is contracted and when it show ups on the tests. For instance, with HIV, you immediately get a high viral load for about a month which makes you very infectious to others, then viral loads drop out for a long time making testing hard to determine. If baby has been exposed for a long time, then it's possible that repeat testing is needed.

Also, the virgin gut issue is a big deal with respect to HIV. A baby that is purely breastfed is unlikely to catch HIV from mom's breastmilk. A baby that combines milk and formula has a much higher risk of contraction.

FWIW, chances of something bad happening are super slim, but I would personally take every step possible to ensure accountability of the DC providers. What would have happened if your LO was on solids and had allergies? This kind of negligence is very serious and can potentially be life threatening.

Sorry you are going through this.

acbfreire · December 2012

stepper1725:
naybird:
But it is their CHOICE to use a wet nurse.
yes, obviously. My point was just to reiterate that the act of a child receiving breast milk from another woman is not unheard of and that the risk of disease transmission is very low. I totally agree that this is a huge mistake on their part. Personally, I think that pulling the child out of the daycare and reporting the incident to the state would be a better course of action than "lawyering up". A daycare needs to maintain it's license in order to stay open. Reporting the incident directly to the state seems much more effective strategy to get the daycare to fix its mistakes and prevent this, or something worse, from happening in the future. Also, and perhaps this is just ignorance on my part, but if the other mother is tested and is free of HIV, TB, and human T-cell lymphotropic virus type I or type II, why does the child need repeated testing every month for a year? Even in the VERY RARE case that the other mother has just recently contracted HIV and does not yet test positive, I don't see why repeated monthly testing would ever be necessary. https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/disease/index.htm

I agree with reporting to the state, but since many diseases will not show up on initial testing, they will do repeated testing on her LO. If she lets DC off the hook, she will end up paying for testing/ treatment. I'd would still get a lawyer.

abbyhannah8 · December 2012

OMG I would be livid!!! You need to take your baby to the DR to have them tested! I would also contact a lawyer, and I would never take my baby back to that place. I'm a peds nurse and when we give babies breast milk two RNs have to verify that the milk belongs to that child before we can begin the feeding. I can't believe they have no protocol set up for giving breast milk! I am so sorry this happened to you and I hope everything turns out fine (I'm sure it will). Also I would contact the state or whoever is in charge of licensing the facility and let them know. I'm pretty sure they can loose their license because this is negligence.

parenthood4 · December 2012

emberlee3:
jess9802:
I would contact your pediatrician, then I would contact the licensing board that regulates daycare providers in your state. I wouldn't bother with a lawyer at this point, if ever.

This

This. Plus try to get money back from the daycare

Sawyerplus1 · December 2012

stepper1725:
jess9802:
I would contact your pediatrician, then I would contact the licensing board that regulates daycare providers in your state. I wouldn't bother with a lawyer at this point, if ever.
Ditto. I don't really think this is something worth suing over. That seems extreme to me. Now, if your child contracted a disease from the milk, I could see a lawsuit. I know you're freaked out, but throughout history people have used wet nurses, people use milk banks. Again, the risk of any disease is very, very low. So, was it a huge oversite? Yes. Should you switch daycares? Absolutely. But suing? I don't think it's worth the time & effort involved to pursue it.

This.

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