Formula question — The Bump
Adoption

Formula question

My whole family is very crunchy/organic/attachment/hippie and we are all about the BFing.  Honestly, letting go of that is tougher for me than the idea of a bio baby and pregnancy.  Anyone else feel this way?  What kind of formula do you use?  Please feel free to share your thoughts.

TIA 

My feet and Miss Heidi the rescue mutt!

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15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!

Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...

Re: Formula question

  • We use similac organic and have had no problems with it. I think the BF issue is made to be a WAY bigger deal than it actually is. Yes, there are advantages, I am not denying that. But in the end, I go back to what I told someone when they were trying to tell me about how I should buy breastmilk online: It turns out that, occasionally, formula fed babies end up going to college (note the sarcasm).

    Seriously, though, not breastfeeding isn't the end of the world. Even people with bio babies can't do it sometimes. I am thankful that we live in a day and age where formula is readily available for families like us. And our DS is as healthy as any BF babies his age. 

    Whenever I feel anxious about not breastfeeding, I remind myself to focus on the end goal--a healthy, happy child. That can surely happen without breastmilk. 

    If you ever wanted to try induced lactation, I know people on here have, but if you decide not to or it doesn't work, don't feel bad. 

    image image image Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers November 2011: after nearly two years of infertility, we are moving on to domestic infant adoption. February 2012: Matched! May 2012: Placed with our son!
  • This will probably turn into a novel, but here goes.

    My mom has never been big into BFing. She never BF'd any of us, and she thinks it's "kind of ew". But it's her generation, and she was having kids when only "dirty hippies" BF'd their children.

    Both of my SILs BF'd, and one still BFs her toddler. They are very pro-BFing, and one of my SILs asked if I was going to BF DD. My mom is fully supportive of their choices, even if it's not her cup of tea.

    I was always pretty ambivalent about BFing, to be honest. I have fibrocystic breasts, and the thought of nursing with them made me cringe. And I was under the impression that I may have to take meds to induce significant lactation, which was not the route I wanted to take. I did have a friend offer to give me some of her milk (she sent it to a milk bank at the time) but I was overwhelmed with other stuff and the logistics would have been tricky. Plus I'd rather a preemie or sick child have it anyway.

    FWIW, you can do adoptive BFing if you're interested in giving it a try.

    We started with Similac, because that's what they had at DD's hospital. After the recall, we switched to the Target brand (1/2 the price, woohoo!).

    If you're going to do formula, I strongly recommend signing up for formula checks. It helps.

    GL!

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  • The loss of a potential breastfeeding relationship was actually one of the most difficult things for me to grieve when we moved to adoption! I did try adoptive breastfeeding (I put details in my reply to the "sheepish question post"), but that didn't go anywhere.

    I did however manage to feed my son 100% donor milk once we left the hospital for the first few months, until he seemed to develop some digestive issues that we solved by switching to hypoallergenic formula (nutramigen) around 4 months.

    We continued to get breastmilk donated, and fed him various combos of the nutramigen and donor milk based on his digestion and our donor milk supply. Then we went strictly to formula from about 7 - 9 months, now we are back on both, but we have been able to stop the nutramigen and we now use regular earth's best organic formula. We will keep him on this combo until a year hopefully. We have a stockpile of milk and one regular donor now.

    I never had an issue with formula feeding, but I'm super glad that we've been able to feed him breastmilk as well. I know donor milk is totally not for everyone, and of course it doesn't address the issue of the breastfeeding relationship, but I discovered that I actually felt more strongly about him having breastmilk than him feeding at my breast (ie using the SNS or something) so I gave up trying to use the SNS pretty quickly.

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  • We tried every formula under the sun and finally figured out that B is horrible allergic to milk and soy proteins so we have him on Elecare formula.   Knowing what I know with his allergies I am so glad I am not BF as I would not be able to enjoy any soy or dairy products and soy is really hard to eliminate from your diet as it is hidden in so many things.
    Brenda & Phillip married 10/10/09 

    After 6 years of failed cycles, we were blessed with our little man through adoption. 
    B born 1/3/2012. Adoption finalized 12/27/12

    Back  on the IF crazy train...
    Sept 2013 - IVF #1 -  BFP, EDD 6/4/14, born 6/8/14
    Everyone welcome

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  • Thank you all!  It helps to know I'm not alone.  I will look into donor milk.  I thought about trying to induce lactation, but after so many treatment cycles and m/cs... I just don't think I can do it. The idea of lactating and having a failed match is a nightmare.  

    I will also learn more about formula, especially the ones mentioned.  Thanks again. 

    My feet and Miss Heidi the rescue mutt!

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    15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
    Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!

    Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...

  • I struggled with many of the same feelings of how hard it was to let go of the idea of BFing.  It doesn't help that a good friend of mine is extended BFing her LO and talks all the time about how the breast is best.  She does understand that not everyone can do it, but I feel like if I were to get pg and not BF, she would judge me for it.  So to have her talking like that on top of my own desire to BF if possible, it was hard to let it go when we gave up on TTC.

    However, that being said, I believe there are many good formulas out there that the baby will definitely thrive just fine on.  We have used Enfamil Premium, Enfamil Prosobee and now Enfamil Gentlease.  If possible, use the regular (premium).  We found that the prosobee would give LO constipation and the Gentlease is good, but really stinky when he spits up and his diapers reek worse than the other kinds. 

    But one thing I've really liked is that I am not the sole person responsible for feeding him.  That means we can go on a date without him and me having to pump, DH can help feed him, I don't have to have the debate about nursing in public.  I guess what I'm saying is that while I'd love to have a bio-child and be able to nurse, since formula is our only option, I've found the positives in that.

    Foster parents turned adoptive parents :)
    Adoptive daughter born 08/07/13... growing so fast
    BM due again end of March 2015 so any day!
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  • I'm almost more sad about not being able to bf than being pregnant. But for the reason you stated, I don't think I could ever induce lactation for fear of a failed match.
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    Little Slick
    Born 6.26.10
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  • image sarahtoledo:
    I thought about trying to induce lactation, but after so many treatment cycles and m/cs... I just don't think I can do it. The idea of lactating and having a failed match is a nightmare.  

    Yeah, I totally get this! That's why I didn't do it to start out. I was too emotionally fragile for the possibility of bringing in milk for a match that failed, or inducing before a match and ending up waiting forever.

    If you want to try feeding at the breast when you bring your newborn home, that requires no preparation and to me felt like a low-risk proposition. There are women who have been able to bring in a small amount of milk just by doing this.

    I will also say that my perspective has changed so, so much since our son came home. It was easy for me to focus on the things about motherhood that I'd always fantasized about, one of which was definitely BF, before he came home. Once he was here the realities of motherhood slowly washed over the ideas that I'd had and looking back now, the inability to breastfeed is way, way less painful. I still want to throat punch people who give me grief about formula (only one so far) or who wax poetic about how miraculous BF is (one other person, who's a nutjob anyway), but it's faded a lot for me personally. It was a real loss for me, but I'm very at peace with it.

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  • I am still nursing bio dd and we are planning to adopt in the future.  I don't think I will mind missing out on the pregnancy/birth aspect but it will definitely be hard to not bf.  Your feelings are totally valid.  Hugs.
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  • image Pinkie78:

    We took a baby care class and the lady was very matter of fact about formula.  She said for the most part, they are the same and the best formula is the one that agrees with your baby. 

     

    LOL, the woman who did our newborn care class is a lactation consultant. She literally told us BFing cures cancer, and made FFing out to be the devil. Oh well.

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