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May 2013 Moms
adamscowgurl
member
MIL vent
adamscowgurl
member
My MIL has been driving me nuts since before we even told her we were expecting! First it was that we should wait another 5-10 years to even think about kids, and once we told her the news shes been trying to control me and everything I do!
I got a midwife, well that wasn't the right thing to do, she starting freaking out about how I'm not allowed to have a home birth, after I have told her about 10000000 times that nothing changes in that aspect and I still go to the hospital, we live pretty far from the hospital so I am definitely not comfortable (especially for my first) having it at home!
She yells at me if I put salt on my food, she yells at me that I need to be taking my prenatal (which I have been since day 1).
The latest thing that really got to me was her new nick name for me is "fatty" (I've only gained 5 lbs and still fit into my prepregnancy jeans!) whenever I stand up to do anything she goes "whatcha doin fatty? getting more food fatty?" I know I shouldn't be self conscious cause I really haven't started showing yet, but I feel like I'm still in the "I look like I ate too many donuts" faze and I'm not comfortable about it! Any suggestions on how to deal with her?
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Re: MIL vent
Amen. I would not tolerate that. Ever.
what's hers.
she texts me telling me that she doesnt want a "problem baby"... a friend of hers has a grandson that has a lot of problems developmentally and has from day 1, and his mom was so unhealthy through her pregnancy.... so she worries that I'm going to have a baby like hers.... We have dinner with them about once a month, and because of the holidays we've seen them a lot and she will literally scream and make a scene if I put salt on my food.... my last midwife appt I was told not to be afraid of salt because of my blood pressure... lol She is a very controlling person, so the fact that I'm the one that's carrying the baby and she can't see everything I'm putting into my body she is freaking right out!
I would definitely love to punch her!!!! I've talked to my husband about it, because I was in tears (gotta love hormones!!) when we got home after xmas with her little comments, he said he will talk to her.. but I doubt it, he's sorta scared to stir the pot!
I completely agree, except that when we were planning our wedding and she didn't agree with something... like inviting her high school ex bfs sisters and their husbands... she freaked and was soooooooo nasty to us for months, and things still aren't that great between them over it! I can't really blame him for it, she has a mean streak!!!
Buy her a grandparent book. I bought my mom "Grandparents: Enjoying and caring for your grandchild" and she's taken a couple of steps back. It's improved our interactions about my baby and made me feel less stressed.
My gut instinct would be to punch her in the throat.. Since that's not actually an option, tell your husband he needs to tell her to stop being a B. In the meantime, I would refuse to see/talk to her.
ETA: This isn't something small that is bothering you. Your MIL is being completely rude and inappropriate, definitely something your H needs to "stir the pot" over.
All of this. I would not spend ANY time with a person who was so condescending. I wouldn't even call it stirring the pot because she just needs to get back to treating you with respect. She is the one who stirred the pot in the first place!
EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves
^This. The woman sounds unbelievable.
You can always blame it on the hormones, but it will certainly get her attention.
Yup. This. The only rational response is a throat punch, IMO. I may just be severely hormonal. But seriously, if someone, let alone my MIL called me FATTY to my face, I would cut them.
I see this as an incredibly viable option.
If it's not and your husband refuses to say anything you have got to confront her. This is abusive and if the two of you tolerate it I would hate to see what boundaries she may overstep when your LO one is born. Verbal abuse is abuse. Do not allow yourself to be her victim. She's damn lucky she's not my mil.
bfp #1 10/15/2009 m/c 11/4/09 10 weeks Lily you are not forgotten
bfp #2 4/5/2010 CP, m/c 4/12/10 5 weeks Baby Lo
Diagnosed PCOS 10/10 RX 1500 mg Metformin/day
bfp#3 4/5/2011 Missed m/c discovered 5/24/2011 (10w 5d) baby Asher stopped growing at 6 weeks
I know he is playing with his siblings in heaven right now...
rx'd factor II gene mutation 7/11 prescribed 5000 units Heparin daily
rx'd Sjogren's Disease 8/11
bfp #4 9-6-2012 RAINBOW Baby Ky born 5-9-13
bfp #5 8-26-14 RAINBOW #2 Due 5-8-2015
I haven't read the other post because this pissed me off times 1000.....
Have you talked to your husband? If he is ANYTHING like mine and not very vocal with his mother I would suggest you start calling her out anytime she says anything negative.
My MIL is extremely ANNOYING, I have recently been able to ignore her comments like "Can you get an extra ultrasound pic for me" or when she found out it would be just and DH in the delivery she asked "well what if he faints who will catch him??" I can't change her or her annoying comments so to avoid stress I just ingore.....so far soooo okay.
Good luck lady!!
Wow. Just wow.
Your DH needs to say something. Sounds like she s incredibly disrespectful and if you say anything, it will just stir her pot and make her more crazy about you.
If DH doesn't say anything, you remove yourself from any get togethers with her until she can treat you in a respectable manner.
Do you think jealousy is an underlying factor here?
New Bundle of Joy- EDD 10/27/16
Wow!! Thanks for all the advice!!! I warned him that with my hormones I may snap at some point and not be able to control it, lol he was like "uhhhh... let me freak out on her for you!" I guess I just had to threaten that I would say something! lol He told me to just ignore her cause she's not exactly the type of person you can say something to and her forgive you!
He thinks that she is jealous cause she is a small woman and with both her pregnancies, she had gained over 25 lbs by the point I'm at right now.. between 50-60 total, and I've only gained 5 this far! and she has the whole, "you stole my little boy" problem still going on! It's a sad cycle in her family, all the moms/sisters hate the girls their "little" boys bring home... So even if I was Mother Teresa, she would still have an issue with me! We were great a few years ago before we got engaged, and things slowly started to change after that!
We (at least I) will definitely be taking some time away from her (his dad is absolutely wonderful!!!), and yes unless she treats me with respect, she will not be able to be as involved with her grandchild as she would like to be! I can't really see her being a hands on grandma anyway, considering her social life is a very important part of her life!! lol