opinions? — The Bump
Babies: 9 - 12 Months


Alright.  I am curious as to other mom's opinion on co-sleeping versus the importance of baby being in their own room and in their own crib. 

My LO had been in her own crib right along until about a month ago.  Poor thing got so sick, so I started letting her sleep with me so I could monitor her and get some sleep so I could function at work.  To be honest, I liked co-sleeping and found that she slept way longer and in turn, so did I.  Also, being a working mom, it felt nice to have some extra cuddle time.

 However, my husband and I discussed it, and since she's doing better (minus teething)  that it was time to put her back in her room.  Well tonight was night number one and it took me almost two hours to get her to fall asleep!  She apparently has become used to snuggling with us at night.  

 Although I like co-sleeping, I also enjoy having just the bed for my husband and I. Plus, I know she needs to learn how to self soothe and be comfortable on her own.  I'm torn what to do.  I felt so bad when she was crying and I can't do the cry it out method because she starts to hyperventilate and I feel too worried about her breathing.  I'm just debating the pros and cons of each.  I would love to hear opinions on the topic! 

Re: opinions?

  • Hhhmmm...so short answer is do what feels right for you and your husband.

    Long answer...Overall I'm a fan of baby sleeping in crib on their own. It's tough to get them comfortable with their crib but once they are it's so much better for Mom & Dad and baby! We started with co-sleeping and made the transition at 2 months to the crib. It wasn't always easy but now we love having our bed to ourselves so we can get some sleep. And nowadays our LO sleeps so great on his own. I feel like the longer you wait to make the transition the harder it will be for the baby (and mom & dad).

    BUT again if it's working OK for you guys then do what's right. Wink

  • Always the answer is to do what is best for you and your family.

    What is best for our family is to a mix of crib and bed-sharing. So our babies have always napped in their cot, and started the night out in their cot, and then at some point come into our bed.

    I have zero interest in letting my baby CIO, or in standing over their cot settling them to sleep at 2am (although I do give putting them back into their cot a go, and if they settle quickly then great), so bringing them into our bed at some point when they wake means that we all get the most sleep.

    i LOVE the snuggles with my baby. I LOVE feeling their little body relax against me and knowing how secure they feel knowing I am right there. I LOVE waking to a little baby wriggling and playing around the bed. 

    I see it as a really short phase of parenting and it's a time you simply can't get back.

    Sometimes I do miss the space with my husband, but we ensure we get snuggles and intimacy at other times and in other ways. I know for some couples the marital bed is a really important space, and I don't think there is a right or a wrong to this. If it's the best/easiest/most important way for you and your husband to stay connected then that's an important part of your family's equation.

    We bedshared with DD1 from around 4mths on, and transitioned her back to her own bed around 18mths. She was doing great STTN in her own bed until we had DD2, then around 2mths ago we got her STTN again in her own bed, without any issues.


    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old

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  • i'm a fan of cosleeping.

    my oldest was with us until he was 3, and then he decided he wanted his own room.  and now we have the baby with us.  i know it doesn't work for everyone, but it does for us.

    while i too like having the bed to myself and dh, my baby won't be a baby forever ... we will have plenty of couple bed time when he is older.

  • I agree with the others that you should do what is best for you and what feels right.  That said, I want to share with you a piece of advice I recently received that has been life-altering, very simple and enjoyable regarding putting baby into his crib with no meltdown.  By way of background, LO has slept fine in his crib since about 5 months.  He's a very large baby and quite frankly, needed the extra room that the crib allowed.  As of about two weeks ago, whenever I would lower him into the crib to put him down drowsy, he would immediately snap awake and get very rigid, even standing up in his crib and raising his arms like he wanted me to take him out, and screaming at the top of his lungs.  This was very traumatic for him, me and Daddy.  My mom advised me that he needed a softer transition, rather than just nursing and then being put down.  She told me to sing to him while nursing, and continue while walking to crib, and continue while lowering him into crib and for a few refrains after he was in the crib.  I have done this for the past two nights and he has loved it.  I had always been afraid to sing to him for fear of not letting him sleep, but I realize that he is awake anyway.  His whole facial expression and body language changed when I started singing.  Now the singing serves as a bridge between nursing and crib.  He's still awake when I leave the room, but he is relaxed.  I also weave lyrics into the last tune about how it's time to go to sleep and I'll see him in the morning.  I am going to continue doing this and just wanted to share in case it is helpful!
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  • I agree with the others... do what is best for your family.  For us, co-sleeping would never work.  I need that time to myself/to spend time with my DH; I'm a better mom for it.  Also, while I love cuddling with my LO, I'm not really a cuddler while sleeping- I need space to sprawl out.  Plus I get hot. 

    On LO's end, she loves her crib and feels secure.  We have a great bedtime routine that we've been doing since day 1, and it just works for us.  She sleeps great at night, and I know sleeping with us/in the same room as us would be detrimental to her sleep habits.  We would wake each other up all night. 

     All that said, do what you think is best.  PP is right, they are only little like this for so long.

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