What to do...

poohniki · December 2012

Hello everyone.

i'm still trying to recover from my BFN. I am trying to figure out what to do next. We are lucky to have IVF covered by insurance, but it only covers 4 tries. Who knew I would ever say 'only 4'? Frozen don't even count toward the 4- but I haven't had luck with eggs.

After 3 tries and never making it to day 5, and only once having enough to put 2 embryos in, I'm thinking I need to start demanding some test at the RE. DH has azoospermia, but that doesn't affect my poor response to stims. The RE said we can go more aggressive next time- but she was supposed to be aggressive last time and well, my results gets worse every time.

I don't think I'll recover from having our last IVF fail- but do they do IUI with testicular sperm? Not sure DH wants to use donor. The place we go to has a good male fertility person, but we never tried to fix DH. Always figured since I have no issues, being able to get sperm would result in a pregnancy.

Just sick of all of this. RE keeps saying we are young and not to worry. We have lost both our moms since ttc. We may appear young, but we are way too old, lost way too much. I married DH believing he would be a great father and I chose a profession so I could be home with children. I feel as though I need to start finding things that make life complete without being a family. Not sure it is possible.

Sorry for all the rambling. If anyone can suggest what tests need to be one for me, or anything I should speak to RE about for DH it is greatly appreciated.

LuClo · December 2012

Ugh...I'm so sorry for everything that you're going through. And no, being young doesn't make it any better, so whoever is saying that can shut their stupid fat mouth. IF is exhausting, but you are stronger than whatever life is throwing at you. It might not feel like it right this moment, but you are.

Building a meaningful child-free life while you wait isn't the worst thing. When we realized how long our journey was going to be DH and I started doing that and it made a world of difference in how I felt. It might also be worth meeting with a therapist should specializes in IF.

On the strictly medical side- no, you can't do IUI with the extracted sperm (we're Azoo and going through a lot of the same things). But if they figure out the WHY in some cases the MFI can be repaired. DH had surgery back in April, it wasn't successful but we were glad to have the option of trying it. You should def have your DH meet with a urologist, and then have a serious sit down with your RE before using the last covered IVF. PM me If you need support or have q's about the mfi stuff.

jezebel57 · December 2012

I'm sorry you are having to go through this... what tests have you had done? They can't find anything else going on aside from MFI? My diagnosis recently changed when I changed RE's, my first one originally diagnosed me as PCOS, a 2nd opinion diagnosed me as "unexplained" and my new one tested my AMH and diagnosed me as diminished ovarian reserve. Having an answer helps a little but it is still hard because there is so much unknown. I hate when dr.'s mention age, especially if there are other things going on, it doesn't matter how old you are. If there's a problem, there's a problem.

Have you asked your RE if they would do the IUI ? Our insurance only covers 4 as well, but being I thought we would be self pay I'm thrilled with whatever they will give me. It's hard when you don't know how many times it will take.

The tests I have had done are: regular Day 3 b/w (FSH, prolactin, estradiol, LH), progesterone 7dpo, AMH, infectious disease panel, fragile x carrier, CF carrier, etc... 2 HSG's, am going to have a sonohystergram and cervical culture in the next 3 weeks before stimming. Which ones have you had already? I know there are different things they can test for after failed IVF's as well. Lots of luck to you!

poohniki · December 2012

Thanks for the replies. I haven't had any tests on me. Doctor just assumed everything was fine. I've just had the normal bloodwork for IVF and a mock transfer. IVF #1 & 2 only had one embryo of fair quality. First one they used frozen sperm but I had a lot of mature eggs. Second time I had only a few eggs. This time I had 4 eggs, not a lot, but 2 very good embryos for day 3 and 5 vials of sperm. Not sure what went wrong.

I don't think we are going to use IVF #4 until I can prove that I can get pregnant and carry a baby to term. If anything happened, not sure how I would handle it. No psychologists in the area that specialize in infertility. I've been doing some of my own cognitive based therapy, but having a baby isn't something I can see not happening and I can't see ever having enough money for adoption.

jadwedd · December 2012

I wish that I had some answers for you. I just feel so badly that you have to go through all of this. You should ask your re all of your questions and see what kind of tests they can do for you. It is just awful that they would tell you that you are young. Age doesn't mean anything.

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