Anyone let children hold LO?

Starbear06 · December 2012

How many of you guys let children hold your LO? So far I only allow my oldest niece who is 12 hold DS. My MIL and SIL's always lets my 8 yo nephew hold him whenever he asks to. On Christmas Day while he was holding him DS did a forward face plant because nephew wasn't holding him tightly enough and DS leaned forward and landed face down. Good thing I was the only one with a right mind that told nephew to sit down on the floor if he wanted to hold him. Fast forward today, IL's came over again and the same nephew asked to hold him. So again, SIL and MIL let him but assisted him kind of. It pissed me off because I said no and H then yelled at MIL and SIL for doing it again. My question are H and I overreacting? His family seemed to think so but safety issue is my number one concern not their opinions.
Would/do you let other children hold your LO? I feel like older siblings don't really count because you as the mommy can somewhat control the situation or teach them to hold LO properly.

alizabethanne · December 2012

We don't. If I was perfectly honest I don't like how some of my adult family hold her and I wear her around them to try and avoid it. I don't think it's overreacting at all.

khill86 · December 2012

DH has an 11 year old sister. She was 10 when we had DS. I was never comfortable with her holding DS. I'm still not. The good thing is that DS is really too heavy and squirmy for her to hold now. She still tries to hold him but I come up with excuses all the time. Unfortunately, she'll ask MIL to hold him when she's got him and MIL thinks it's fine.

I guess the short answer is yes, reluctantly, I do let a child hold DS. If I was more outspoken, I wouldn't. And I definitely wouldn't let a child I don't know hold him.

acbfreire · December 2012

Not yet. I will try to delay as much as possible. When SD comes to visit (she hasn't met LO yet - she will briefly hold her while sitting and supervised).

AliciaS1411 · December 2012

We have a 7 year old cousin who held Elliot the day he was born. He always sits down with him and holds him in a cradle, so I don't worry to much about it. He adores him and wants to hold him all the time.

jess9802 · December 2012

Yes - my 13 year old stepson holds DS all the time. When my 6 year old niece was visiting this summer we let her hold DS whenever she wanted, so long as she was sitting down. I was okay with my 3 year old nephew holding him, but his father didn't think it was a good idea.

Samiantha101 · December 2012

Sure, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, we don't have many children that we know around us often.

My daughter got to meet her cousins, age 4 and 8, at six weeks. They both held her. It was supervised and adorable.

Honestly, I think you're being way uptight.

thatoneredhead · December 2012

If another child is holding yours, then you surely get to be right there and in control too.

My 10yr old sister held him sitting down all the time. She picked him up once and it scared me to death. I talked to her about it and she understood that it wasnt because she wasnt big enough, it was just he wasnt big enough.

My little 4yr old cousin has held him multiple times with help but now he is just too big for her to hold.

I dont know if your LO is sitting yet, but if I was uncomfortable with a kid holding mine I would just say he likes playing on the floor alot better.

drbethc · December 2012

I don't let children hold DS. I think if you're uncomfortable with the situation, then don't especially since your LO has already fallen face first...I don't think babies are toys and don't think its necessary for children to be holding infants...

drbethc · December 2012

Samiantha101:
Sure, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, we don't have many children that we know around us often. My daughter got to meet her cousins, age 4 and 8, at six weeks. They both held her. It was supervised and adorable. Honestly, I think you're being way uptight.

no need for judgments...your response of, "yes", you allow children to hold your LO is enough.

Samiantha101 · December 2012

drbethc:
Samiantha101:
Sure, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, we don't have many children that we know around us often.

My daughter got to meet her cousins, age 4 and 8, at six weeks. They both held her. It was supervised and adorable.

Honestly, I think you're being way uptight.
 
no need for judgments...your response of, "yes", you allow children to hold your LO is enough.

No need for judgements unless I agree that she isn't uptight/overreacting? Hmmm

Anyhow, I didn't see anybody else's post limited to a simple yea or no to OP's Q if she was overacting. Sorry if you don't agree, but that's my opinion.

stanfordt04 · December 2012

i let other children hold LO...we have a bunch of friends and family who have children and we have no problem with it. in fact, i even teach the little ones how to sit and get ready to hold him. i have learned that most little kids (especially the girls) LOVE holding babies. I am right there next to them and have a hand on my DS just in case. it is fun to take pictures and to one day look back at the moment when they are older.

stepper1725 · December 2012

when dd was 5 months, I let a 12 yo girl at our church hold her. I actually asked the girl to hold dd so I could get some coffee during coffee hour. The girl' s mom freaked out and made her sit down and stood behind her the whole time. I thought she was overreacting because the girlwas doing a great job and dd was happy. So, yes I let kids hold dd. and if I'm being honest she' s done the faceplant thing when I' m holding her, so maybe I' m just a neglectful parent

Starbear06 · December 2012

Samiantha101:
drbethc:
Samiantha101:
Sure, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, we don't have many children that we know around us often.

My daughter got to meet her cousins, age 4 and 8, at six weeks. They both held her. It was supervised and adorable.

Honestly, I think you're being way uptight.
 
no need for judgments...your response of, "yes", you allow children to hold your LO is enough.

No need for judgements unless I agree that she isn't uptight/overreacting? Hmmm

Anyhow, I didn't see anybody else's post limited to a simple yea or no to OP's Q if she was overacting. Sorry if you don't agree, but that's my opinion.

Haha. Thanks all! it's nice to know that I'm not the only "uptight" FTM around. ;
I guess I rather be uptight than for something to happen given the circumstance that something already has and the fact that DS is constantly around other children.

piedpiper07 · December 2012

It all depends on the kid. I always let my little cousins (age 4-10) hold DS supervised. But honestly DS' only two babysitters have been 12 and 14. The 12 year old got him to take a bottle which DH and I had been trying for months. Although I wouldn't have left him with my 19 year old cousin, so it depends.

acbfreire · December 2012

drbethc:
Samiantha101:
Sure, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, we don't have many children that we know around us often. My daughter got to meet her cousins, age 4 and 8, at six weeks. They both held her. It was supervised and adorable. Honestly, I think you're being way uptight.

no need for judgments...your response of, "yes", you allow children to hold your LO is enough.

I agree, unfortunately some people need to add their uncalled for 2 cents.

anonsouthernbell · December 2012

Given the fact that he already dropped your ds I would be extremely upset if mil/SIL let him hold ds again.

lil_jen051708 · December 2012

All kids who have held DS are sitting. I've had my 3 y/o nephew, 5 y/o nephews, cousins ranging in age from 4 to 12 hold him. No big deal to me. They are either sitting all the way back on the couch or sitting on the floor. I or another adult is right there with DS.

Look people always judge other people and decisions. Do what works for you.

Samiantha101 · December 2012

acbfreire:
drbethc:
Samiantha101:
Sure, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, we don't have many children that we know around us often.

My daughter got to meet her cousins, age 4 and 8, at six weeks. They both held her. It was supervised and adorable.

Honestly, I think you're being way uptight.
 
no need for judgments...your response of, "yes", you allow children to hold your LO is enough.
I agree, unfortunately some people need to add their uncalled for 2 cents.

Except the OP asked for opinions. I think an appropriate "bump" response would be a sideeye!

Samiantha101 · December 2012

Starbear06:
Samiantha101:
drbethc:
Samiantha101:
Sure, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, we don't have many children that we know around us often.

My daughter got to meet her cousins, age 4 and 8, at six weeks. They both held her. It was supervised and adorable.

Honestly, I think you're being way uptight.
 
no need for judgments...your response of, "yes", you allow children to hold your LO is enough.

No need for judgements unless I agree that she isn't uptight/overreacting? Hmmm

Anyhow, I didn't see anybody else's post limited to a simple yea or no to OP's Q if she was overacting. Sorry if you don't agree, but that's my opinion.

Haha. Thanks all! it's nice to know that I'm not the only "uptight" FTM around. ;
I guess I rather be uptight than for something to happen given the circumstance that something already has and the fact that DS is constantly around other children.

If that's your philosophy, enjoy your padded room.

ToastieSimons · December 2012

I let my nephews hold DS2. However, they're 4.5 and everyone makes them sit down first but I always oblige.

At a family gathering a friend (about 8-10) wanted to hold him so I let her. She almost wouldn't give him back, it was so sweet.

I guess it's kind of true what they say about the second children, you relax so much. DS1 has basically crawled across DS2, trampled him, hit him in the face, etc and he's fine.

seansgirl2006 · December 2012

In all fairness, the OP did ask opinions on if she was overacting. Maybe the word "uptight" didn't come across as nice, but to me she was just answering the question.

For me personally it doesn't bother me if children hold DS. I ask them to sit down and sit with them or another adult sits nearby.

DawnLilly · December 2012

DS was held by his cousins days after birth, ages 8 and 6. No body dropped him and they now have a 3 month old sister and carry and help care for her. Again, she's never been dropped. DS was carried by a four year old at Christmas. He bear hugged him under the arms to bring him to a toy. He didn't hurt him, DS smiled everytime the other little boy played with him. DS crawls and pulls himself up. He hurts himself way more than a child dropping him from a foot is going to.

Josie22 · January 2013

What I'm side-eyeing for is that you let your MIL & SIL have him without you being there when they've showed poor judgement in the past.

My DS1 has held DS2 many many times. My favorite photos of the two are DS1 holding DS2. Both my boys have been held by kids. Neither has been dropped. If I think a kid can't easily carry my child, then they have to sit, and I'm always within an arms reach. These kids depend on us. If we're not putting them in safe situations, the outcome is only on us.

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