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Wellmeaning but heartbreaking

PeachyBellaPeachyBella member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Worst offhanded comment today. Went in to have hcg checked to confirm suspected mc. Phlebotomist while drawing my blood says, "Is this your first? You must be so excited!" She had absolutely no way of knowing, but it still tore me up. Just said, "Yes, it is." It's hard when people are being kind and don't realize it's hurtful.

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Re: Wellmeaning but heartbreaking

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    nidawi6nidawi6
    Ugh, I hate that kind of stuff. Had somebody call to confirm my DC for Monday. The first words out of her mouth were, "how are you doing today?" The last words were "have a great weekend". Yeahhh... right....

    Maybe she didn't know which surgery she was confirming, heh.
    EDD 9/28/2011, lost our little girl (pre-e/iugr) on 6/13/11 @24w5d
    EDD 3/12/2013, natural miscarriage on 7/18/12 @6w2d
    EDD 8/01/2013, D&C scheduled for 12/31/12 @9w4d
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    PeachyBellaPeachyBella member
    Exactly! My doctor's secretary goofed on the calendar while scheduling a mc followup for me today and kept laughing and talking all giddy. You'd think they do this enough that they'd develop the ability to at least sound empathetic, right?

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    precious72381precious72381 member
    I found that to be the exact problem, they do it so much that they are immune to the whole thing! They don't get it and forget! My nurse for my dandc, who was older, was telling me stories of giving birth to her daughters that are now in their 20's. really??!?!? I'm so sorry she said that to you!

    I'm 33 DH is 36 
    Married 6/27/2009 Together since 10/22/2005
    TTC since 8/2010 (off BCP since 8/2009)     Unexplained Infertility
    8/2011, 1/2012, 3/2012 IUI #1-3 BFN 
    6/2012 IVF#1 BFN, 8/2012 IVF#2 FET BFN, 11/2012 IVF#3 BFP
    12/10/2012 U/S #1 6w4d - heartbeat  EDD 8/1/13 
    12/26/2012 U/S #2 8w6d - No more heartbeat, MMC; D&C; Chromosome testing normal; male :( RPL testing normal 
    4/3/2013 DX Asherman's Syndrome caused by D&C, hysteroscopy done
    June 2013 IVF #4 planned 
    5/12/2013 SURPRISE BFP! Natural cycle 
    7/11/2013 Panorama results Normal!!! Team Pink, partial previa moved up in 2nd tri9/5/13 (19w) AS scan shows short cervix, 2.5 cm 9/19 (21w)  Cervix is worse 1.87cm, bed rest 10/26 & 10/27 steroid shots 12/19 (35w) DX: SGA Baby went from 57% percentile to 18th percentile in 6 weeks. Weekly BPP and NST until she is here. 1/17/18 Growth scan puts Abby below 10th percent in size, low amniotic fluid, and less movement. Time to induce!
    1/18/14 2:11am Abigial Morgan is here! 5lbs 14oz and 18 inches of pure cuteness!!!

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    Avion22Avion22 member

    Ugh, I hate it when that happens.  I really wish OBs, doctors, hospitals etc would be more sensitive about it. 

    I called a few weeks ago to see if I could reschedule my D&C follow-up for a different day or time.  The receptionist who answered kept asking if this was my 16-week appointment, and couldn't understand why I was asking about lab work, until finally I said, "No, this is a follow-up for my D&C from last week!"

     

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    MamaFantasticMamaFantastic member

    it's hard when well meaning people just don't know..  they're not trying to be mean...and yet it still is kind of stabby in the heart, right?

    i got a "wow, looks like it's time to have another baby!" on facebook today.  what i really wanted to say was "trust me, i agree.  i'm 0 for 2 this fall, so give me a break" but i just didn't respond instead.  there's really nothing more to do, i suppose.

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