Breast feeding question

jessalared · December 2012

Hey everyone! I just had this thought pop into my head today and it feels silly to me for some reason. My 8yo SS lives with us full time, he's super excited about baby brother coming! My question is how I should be handling breast feeding? I never really gave it a second thought, I figured I would just be doing it wherever, whenever. Just throw a cover over maybe? I just don't want it to be awkward for him, that's all.

If anyone has any thoughts or experiences with this I would appreciate it!

lax15bsu · December 2012

I keep a light blanket nearby when SS (12yo) is over. He's old enough to understand breastfeeding and just enough about it to be embarrassed, lol. He usually stays out of the living room if I'm nursing there, but not always. I kind of hide behind the laptop or throw the blanket over my shoulder enough to be modest.

I dont' make a big deal about it or ask him to leave the room though.

lookame3639 · December 2012

Keep a blanket near or maybe go into another room...DS has been around while women have breastfed and it brough on some very inappropriate and hard to answer questions from DS

Littlejen22 · December 2012

Not meant snarky at all but treat it like you would if he was your 12yo. A 12yo boy does not want to see his Mom's boobs so be respectful of that no matter your feelings on breastfeeding freedoms, cover up during the day, feelings before naps and bedtime should be done where the baby will sleep anyway to help them fall asleep. You will figure it out without scarring SD, lol.

jessalared · December 2012

Littlejen22:
Not meant snarky at all but treat it like you would if he was your 12yo. A 12yo boy does not want to see his Mom's boobs so be respectful of that no matter your feelings on breastfeeding freedoms, cover up during the day, feelings before naps and bedtime should be done where the baby will sleep anyway to help them fall asleep. You will figure it out without scarring SD, lol.

Not taken snarky at all. I just couldn't believe I hadn't thought about it before. He's 8 btw, but still I think he might be weirded out by it. I just don't want to treat him any differently than I would my bio son either.

jessalared · December 2012

lax15bsu:
I keep a light blanket nearby when SS (12yo) is over. He's old enough to understand breastfeeding and just enough about it to be embarrassed, lol. He usually stays out of the living room if I'm nursing there, but not always. I kind of hide behind the laptop or throw the blanket over my shoulder enough to be modest.

I dont' make a big deal about it or ask him to leave the room though.

Thank you. This sounds like it will be what I need to do!

kali55 · December 2012

I may be in the minority here, but I just breastfed whenever without a cover. I was always discreet and you wouldn't see nipple unless you were looking for it. I treated it as the most normal and natural thing and my SDs were not fussed about it in the least. I couldn't be bothered to cover up every time I was feeding DS. IMO I think it's great for children to be comfortable around breastfeeding

fellesferie · December 2012

kali55:
I may be in the minority here, but I just breastfed whenever without a cover. I was always discreet and you wouldn't see nipple unless you were looking for it. I treated it as the most normal and natural thing and my SDs were not fussed about it in the least. I couldn't be bothered to cover up every time I was feeding DS. IMO I think it's great for children to be comfortable around breastfeeding

Same here. DD would not tolerate being covered, so I never used one.

Ooglybear · December 2012

I didn't worry too much about it. Generally I would warn the skids that baby needed to nurse, so they had the opportunity to avert their eyes or leave the room if they wanted to.

CFjo2010 · December 2012

My newborn is now 2 weeks old and K who's 7 has been here 11 of those 14 days. I've nursed in front of her as well as my DS13 and DD9. Heck, I've even pumped. I use a cover everytime, and none of the kids have cared. All 3 kiddos were told that I would be breastfeeding and that they didn't have to stick around and watch. But with the feeding and pumping schedule the Dr has me and PJ on, I would literally be stuck in the nursery all day long and wouldn't get to spend time with my family.

Breastfeeding is completely natural and I think it's healthy for kids to know that. The girls have asked me questions about it, and haven't expressed any discomfort with the feedings.

Ginlyn0 · December 2012

I breastfed in front of all the kids. We explained that was how the baby eats. My SKs were formula fed, my DD had been breastfed as well so a question came up once about that. So I just explained that moms have that choice. Other than that, we didn't really have any issues. The boys were almost 6 & 8 and the girls were 9 & 10 when DS was born and didn't blink an eye about it. I typically used a cover except when DS fought the cover. I never hid while breastfeeding but I was always discrete.

CurlyQ284 · December 2012

I breastfeed with SDs here, sometimes with and sometimes without a cover. Its hard to keep a little blanket on when I'm trying to get him latched. I prefer a tank top and robe, lots of coverage! Lol. They don't leave the room or anything, if they look over when I'm trying to get him latched they just avert their eyes.

They think my pump is funny. It makes a weird noise, DH started rapping to the beat and they thought it was hilarious.

karleegirl · December 2012

I bf in front of my 17 yr old ds. In the early days when it was hard to get dd latched I'd just warn him to look away. After the latching on you don't see anymore than if I had on a bathing suit.
My dd is 10 months and bf every 3 to 4 hours so Im not going to another room and a cover is a joke. Now she could find my nipple in the dark so latching is no issue.

jessalared · December 2012

Thank you everyone for your responses, I guess I will just have to see how it goes. I do feel that it is natural and shouldn't be "weird" but i want us to both be comfortable. Thanks again!

highlights · December 2012

I'm not in a blended family situation, but my rule of thumb is mostly, if you are going to be in the baby's house, and the baby is hungry, its up to you to decide if you are comfortable, or leave the room.

jessalared · December 2012

highlights:
I'm not in a blended family situation, but my rule of thumb is mostly, if you are going to be in the baby's house, and the baby is hungry, its up to you to decide if you are comfortable, or leave the room.

I completely agree, but the difference is that its SS's house too.

twister22 · December 2012

At home I typically don't use a cover, but DS is only 4. I use a cover if we have guests over or if we are out. If DS was older and it bothered him I would either say go to another room or I would throw a light cover over my shoulder.

highlights · December 2012

jessalared:
highlights:
I'm not in a blended family situation, but my rule of thumb is mostly, if you are going to be in the baby's house, and the baby is hungry, its up to you to decide if you are comfortable, or leave the room.
I completely agree, but the difference is that its SS's house too.

But its a natural thing- his sibling has to eat. If he is uncomfortable (which, honestly at 8, I don't think he will be unless someone tells him he is supposed to be) he can go play somewhere else.

I just can't imagine having to "hide" while feeding your child in your own room.

Now, you walking around topless all the time would be a different story.

Mama2TwoBoys · December 2012

You know your step son more than anyone here does.

Have an open convo with him about it. Explain that breastfeeding is natural, and best for baby, and that it means sometimes your chest will be out. Ask him if he would care. Are you assuming that he'd be embarrassed by it? Maybe he won't be. Maybe you'd spark a curiosity of the human body and he'd become a world famous doctor! (ok this is me rambling on because I'm bored at work...)

I didn't cover up at home unless we had male guests. Granted, SS is 3, and that's a very different age. I hope to have another baby in 3-4 years, and wouldn't cover up then either. I'm pretty open when it comes to bodies. I also hope that being open about breastfeeding can help my boys be supportive of it when their future wives have kids. That's more my little way to help change how our society thinks about it though.

FutureMrsWittig · December 2012

My SD was 8 also when my DD was born. Luckily for me SDs mom had 2 other kids and she breast fed in front of SD so there was no explanation required. I nursed in front of her and she was fine.

I agree with PPs who have said it's all about what you and your SS are comfortable with. Maybe start out with a cover and then asking him how he'd feel if you didn't use it? It probably hasn't occurred to him either so give him some time to decide how he feels about it.

J&A2008 · December 2012

fellesferie:
kali55:
I may be in the minority here, but I just breastfed whenever without a cover.  I was always discreet and you wouldn't see nipple unless you were looking for it.  I treated it as the most normal and natural thing and my SDs were not fussed about it in the least.  I couldn't be bothered to cover up every time I was feeding DS.  IMO I think it's great for children to be comfortable around breastfeeding 
Same here. DD would not tolerate being covered, so I never used one. 

Breastfeeding is natural.

moonfaerie · December 2012

Is this your first bio-child? If so, it might you take you some time to warm up to BFing whenever, wherever, no matter who is around. you might find it awkward until you and your LO are in a good feeding groove.

That said, I BF freely in front of my SD. I'm not sure if I'd feel differently if she were a boy. You will find out what works for your and your SS's comfort levels. My advice is to relax, and not worry about it much.

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