- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
School-Aged Children
Daughter wants TV in room. How do I make her stop asking for one?
My daughter has recently started demanding that she be given a
television for her room on her birthday. She's asked several times and
I've simply told her no, she can't have a TV in her room until she
"grows up". I refuse to let her have one for several reasons that for
the sake of brevity I will not go into.
How can I put an end to this issue once and for all?
We have 2 TVs in the house - one in our family room, and one the master bedroom DH and I share. I've told her she's free to watch TV in our bedroom whenever she likes but that doesn't seem to appease her...
Today we argued about this and I told her that b/c she was throwing a tantrum, we would shut off the TV and no one (not even us parents) would watch TV for the rest of the day. I also told her that we'd have to consider getting rid of the TVs we do have if she continues arguing with us about this. Although, honestly, I really don't want to do that!!This discussion has been closed.
Re: Daughter wants TV in room. How do I make her stop asking for one?
I always wanted a tv in my room growing up and my parents always said no. there was no condition to it as in waiting till i'm grown up. That might be confusing her because she doesn't understand the concept of grown up enough. She might think she has grown up enough.
Be consistant with your no. That there is no reason for her to have a tv in her bedroom because she can watch tv in the living room. Tell her, she will fall asleep with a tv on and it isn't good for getting the right kind of sleep. Bottom line, the answer is no and she can throw a tantrum if she wants. Send her to her room or walk away so you don't have to hear it. Tell her you will talk to her again when she calms down but the answer will be no. she will move on and find something else if you are consistant.
Also a rule of mine is not to make a threat to a child that you can't follow through on. Don't tell her that you will get rid all the TV's and then you don't. That isn't showing her that you mean what you say.
Good Luck!
My 8 y/o can sometimes really get in a rut, asking for stuff over and over in an attempt to manipulate. It's SO annoying.
We had to adopt a "zero tolerance" policy. He gets one warning if we think he's doing this, then the next time he mentions it, he loses some privilege.
If you are prone to giving in to repeated whining, you have trained her that this technique works, and you'll have to be even more firm with her to get her to realize that she's NOT going to convince you to put a TV in her room.
Thanks both of you, these are really excellent suggestions. I guess the only thing about telling her that there is no reason for her to have a tv in her bedroom is that she then turns it back to "why do you guys get to have a tv in your room? It's not fair!!!!"
Ugh.yeah. that would be hard. find something to say. i never seem to watch it in my bedroom anymore.
My best friend had a tv that had a VCR attached to it and she had it in her room (i thought her mom was so cool, ha) but she could only watch one movie then it would rewind and shutoff so it had a timer sort of. I can see that now that she was still sheltering her with what she could or could not watch and it wouldn't be on all night long.
I am not a fan of TV's in the kids bedrooms either and for sure not one connected to the cable.
DD is 9 and had a TV in her bedroom. Ok, its still in there but after repeatedly blowing the fuse, it died. When it was working, she had restrictions on it. She could only watch TV-PG and lower. She wasn't allowed to watch anything TV-14 and I could even block MTV (her older cousins watch it). There was a cable box connected to it so it made doing the parental controls.
Now, she doesn't even really miss TV. She has been asking constantly for an iPad though. We have told her no repeatedly and part of it is because she tries to "sneak" my iPad or get on the computer when she isn't allowed on either. I know its different, but we have had to be firm with DD on a lot of things and consistant about it. GL!
Well, LIFE'S NOT FAIR!!!
When you own and house and pay all of the bills, then you may choose to have a TV in your bedroom. We chose to put a TV in our room so that we may watch grown up TV that is not appropriate for children in a place where you will not be able to see it.
Your answer: because we're adults. When you're an adult in your own home, you can choose to have a TV in your room too.
She's right -- it's not "fair." Tough.
Sometimes DD asks questions like this--like why she has to have earlier bedtime than we do. I explain that her body/brain is still developing so she needs more sleep or in this case, too much TV isn't good for it.
Also, like PP said, sometimes adult TV is inappropriate for kids.
My parents used the "because we're adults" line a lot. Kids should be valued and treated well and as individuals, but they don't have the same "rights" or rules as adults. Adults have privileges kids don't, and it's a good thing for her to learn.
Also, I wouldn't ban the entire house from TV because she threw a tantrum. I like my shows! She's the one being punished, it's not a whole house thing.
Don't give in. When she's calm, bring it up and say that you are the adults and get to make decisions, and that you do not think it would be good for her to have a tv in her room, and that you will not get her one. Period. Tell her she needs to stop whining and throwing tantrums over it, because that's the rule. You can even outline consequences about it, like "if you keep asking, you will not be able to watch TV that night".
I don't think TVs help kids fall asleep. I also think that TVs in the family room only forces kids (older kids especially!) to stay out of their room a little! it DS is 11 and I can honestly say I only watch Shake it up or Austin and Ally when it's on in the living room. I'm able to make comments like, "If you ever think about doing that, you'll be grounded!" or "That was really sweet of them to do that." When I know he's seen that same episode of Kickin' It about 10 times, I would love to be able to say. "Why don't you go watch that in your room?" I didn't have a TV in my room until I was in high school as long as I maintained my grades. I'll probably use the same guidelines for DS.
DS has asked for a TV in his room (and he's only 6!) and I've firmly stuck to a no. Granted, I would rather not watch Ninjago for the eleventy billionth time this week, but I know for a fact that he would stay up watching TV instead of sleeping. So to me, it's the "when you have a job and you can buy your own TV, you can have one in your room" rationalizing.
But another thing about this that bothers me is that she keeps asking and throwing fits when you say no. DS still does that on occasion, but when he asks over and over, I gently remind him that he does not get to ask again when I say no. If I say no, I will not change my mind. Period. If he throws a fit, he can go to his room until he's done. You need to be consistent and refuse to even entertain the question with an answer. You've already told her no and told her the reasoning behind it, end of discussion.