Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Question about birth at 28 weeks?
There's a link to the preemie resource blog at the top of the preemie message board page.That's a good place to start as well as the March of Dimes website. I also really liked the preemie book written by Dana Linden.
The range of complications from a 28 weeker is quite broad. There could be many medical issues, or the baby could just be a feeder & grower while in NICU. The fact that he's been moved to a crib about a month after birth (and 33 weeks adjusted) is a really good sign.
The particular prognosis of the child is really dependent. Make sure to ask the neos and the nurses about his likely prognosis and if they expect him to have any long term issues.
Some questions I would ask for a preliminary idea on his general medical condition: Is he on any oxygen assistance (vent, cpap, or nasal cannula) right now? What were his previous oxygen needs? Does he have apnea or brady episodes and, if so, how many and what's the severity? Has he had any infections? Are his head ultrasounds normal? Are his vision and hearing tests normal? Do they expect him to be a feeder/grower only? How is he doing with weight gain? How is he doing with maintaining body temp?
Since he is only 33 weeks adjusted, he likely still gets all of his food by NG tube. You could ask them when they plan on trying the bottle (this usually does not occur until somewhere in the 34-36 week range).
Good points! My twins were 28 weekers so I can tell you how our experience went. They needed breathing assistance from cpap and ventilators for the first month. After that point they were considered more "feeders and growers" in the NICU since they were not critical after that point. Because of their premature lungs, one of my twins developed a preemie lung condition called BPD which made it harder for him to get off of oxygen.
It can take a several weeks for preemies to learn how to eat from a nipple. Developing the suck, swallow, breath coordination usually isn't mastered until they are around full term gestational age. My twins also had many "spells" where they would drop their oxygen saturation and heart rate which is pretty common with preemies since their nervous systems are still developing. They needed to come home with monitors that measure breathing and heart rate because of this. Both came home 10 days before their due date.
The first year and first winter we had to be very careful about their exposure to germs since their immune systems were not as strong and they were at higher risk for RSV. It's also important to make sure preemies are staying on track with developmental milestones so he/she will likely be followed by an early intervention program and might need therapy services at some point. My boys never did qualify for therapy but have been evaluated a couple times. Besides their small size for their age, they no longer have any conditions related to prematurity and have begun catching up on some milestones. Challenges we've faced are slow weight gain and feeding issues particularly with my twin who was IUGR. It can take 2-3 years for preemies to catch up to their full term peers and until then you correct age based on their due date.
With all that said, there is really a wide range but typically 28 weekers fair pretty well and are at a decreased risk of long term complications compared to a preemie born earlier. Lots of luck and well wishes to you!
P.S. The Premature Baby Book by Dr. Sears is a good read to help you navigate the NICU and help with caring for a preemie at home.
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
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Dd was born at 27 weeks and only needed CPAP for a few days and nasal cannula for a week. The 28 weeker next to her was on CPAP for a month but learned to eat faster than dd and went home a week before her even though they were gestationally the same age.
Dd had almost no issues given her early birth and IUGR/ she was 1lb 11oz at birth. Her only issue after dc was torticollis. She would not turn her head to the left. She developed a significant flat spot on the back right of her head and her right forehead started growing out and pointy. With PT and home exercises it resolved completely and you can't tell anymore. She is now ahead of her adjusted age and catching up to her actual age.
Good luck. The NICU should be able to talk you through what to expect.
All of this! Best wishes to you.
Agree. Also ask about kangaroo care. It's great for the baby and for you.
You are doing an amazing thing. Keep us updated!!