It's not your baby. You don't get a say.

kalemi · December 2012

Does everyone else have family members trying to get a say in about the baby's name? A lot of girl names I've loved have been knocked off because of my inlaws...I love Charlotte and when I just mentioned it people blew up because my husband's aunt, Charlotte, is a drug addict. It's not like I'm naming the child after her. I've never even met her. I just love the name. I prefer older, more traditional names that apparently no one else likes. Then, of course, they add in, "But I suppose we'll love the child whatever her name is." Gee...I'd hope so.

I also have a list of 3 middle names that have been passed down on my mother's side for generations. I told my husband he could chose which one he liked best since I love them all and don't really care as long as one of them is used. Of course, my mil hates them all. She wants something "cuter."

Then I have the family members (also inlaws) that have said, "I don't care what the name is as long as you work my name in there somehow." Uhhh....no.

KdgTeacher · December 2012

This is a perfect example of why MH and I have no intention of sharing names...even ones we're just tossing around.

theimpossibleastronaut · December 2012

Choose a name you and your DH like. Then tell everyone you are not announcing the name until the baby's born. Simple.

We are doing this because we don't want other people's opinions. We love the name we've picked, so that's enough.

kalemi · December 2012

We've only shared names with a few people, and my husband threw me under the bus with the whole Charlotte thing. I just hate people giving me their opinions or saying that we HAD BETTER work their name in somehow. We've got our name picked out and we are not sharing it. I just wish people would back up. I understand it's the first grandchild on both sides. But my family isn't trying to suffocate me with "advice."

kalemi · December 2012

Lesson learned: Do not share information unless you're prepared to have opinions shoved down your throat.

Raeily · December 2012

Yeah, unfortunately if you don't feel like telling people to back the hell off you gotta keep it to yourself.

Hubby and I finally shared our name with everyone when we found out we were having a girl. I did literally have to tell someone who decided to share their negative opinion that it was a good thing it was my kid and not hers.

I hope you and your DH can bring it back to just you two and make everyone else butt out.

LovestruckAJ · December 2012

KdgTeacher:
This is a perfect example of why MH and I have no intention of sharing names...even ones we're just tossing around.

This. When people would ask us about names, our default response would be, "we're still throwing names around," without giving any further info on what those names were.

Sorry your MIL is an opinionated, pain in the a$s.

OSibyl · December 2012

I think most people deal with this in one way or another. Luckily, my brother had children first and picked out a name that my Mother thought was crazy for his oldest. (let's just say there is an apostrophe in the middle of it...) Needless to say, my mom got used to the name and of course, it has no effect on how much everyone loves the kiddo. Now when I tell my mom names we are thinking of she just laughs and says she doesn't care as long as the baby is healthy.

jeng329 · December 2012

DH and I are 99 sure on the name we will choose, but just like with DS1, we told everyone that we will decide when we see his face. That's mostly the truth, but it's more polite than saying we've chosen a name but don't want to tell you :

ariaforte8 · December 2012

Yup, learn your lesson and stop sharing names. People think sharing equals you want their opinion.

lisa5201 · December 2012

I totally get what your throwing down and have had my own MIL name battles,(she addressed all of Schuyler's Christmas gifts to Skylar) but....

I would sadly but definitely cross the name of a drug-addicted close relative off the list. I would NOT use the name Charlotte in your situation. It's a family name for your in-laws and your DH, and like it or not, it's one with a bad connotation. Maybe it's just me, but this would make it off limits.

MrsP7309 · December 2012

We're keeping our names entirely silent for this reason. When people push, we tell them "Well, we're thinking either Penelope or Roberta Griffin the Third." Penelope, BTW, sounds horrific with our last name, so people know we're not serious.

kalemi · December 2012

I gave up on Charlotte weeks ago. Ive loved that name even before my husband and i met but its whatever. We found a name we both love and are just keeping it to ourselves. I told my husband that id tell my family eventually and he could tell his if he wants since neither sides of our family have met and wont. But if he does he needs to be prepared to tell them the name is chosen and nothing they say will change it.

kalemi · December 2012

My whole inlaws side is screwed up. Everyone does drugs, is an alcoholic, cant keep a job, has been in jail or something. Attempted suicide. Theyre all messed up. I crossed Charlotte off because my husband said no but theres too many of them for me to nit pick around names. Ive even been told dates that I "cannot under any circumstance give birth on" because the date has a meaning and so and so happened on this day. Yea, theyre all fluckin crazy.

JellyTwoPointO · December 2012

KdgTeacher:
This is a perfect example of why MH and I have no intention of sharing names...even ones we're just tossing around.nbsp;

THIS!!!

jaymiegerard · December 2012

We don't share the name until the baby is breathing air. :-) If you hate the name, you hopefully wont have the balls to say anything to our faces after the baby arrives, so it saves us all a lot of trouble!

soaringflutes · December 2012

I don't share names with people. I just found out I'm having a girl, but even when I tell my family tomorrow, I'm not going to share any names. I'm like you and like older traditional names. I'd just ignore what your family is saying. They're just talking. If you like Charlotte then stick with that, and don't bother telling anyone. When my niece was born 6 years ago, her parents named her a name that reminded my mother of a drug addict too, but it didn't take long for her to forget that. But she never harassed her son and dil about the name either.

sherina825 · December 2012

Your title says it all. Not their baby, not their opinion. My friend had picked out her daughter's name for a while, but her boyfriend's family (not even inlaws) had an issue about my friend naming the baby after her. Not the exact same name, but it rhymes. In the end she didn't name the baby what she wanted and what they wanted and she regrets it now. The little girl has a cute name, but I'm a firm believer that parents get to choose the child's name and NO one else.

dalzien · December 2012

Unfortunately I share the same views as the other posters, if you don't share then they can't give you their unwanted input. If you and your DH come up with some names now, do your best to keep them among yourselves or people you trust not to be "judgy".

kmc84 · December 2012

Like PP's have said, this is why our families will find out the name when she is born! I have a friend with two boys who's names are a bit different and her IL's were aweful about the names! She stuck with them and everyone just gave up after the boys were born.

pinottoparenthood · December 2012

This is why we're not telling anyone our name until the baby comes. My MIL has good intentions but is incredibly pushy and likes to dominate situations. She won't know the name until it's already on the birth certificate.

highlights · December 2012

The only people I am sharing name ideas with are the people I feel comfortable telling to shove off. So pretty much only my cousin.

JSS1002 · December 2012

KdgTeacher:
This is a perfect example of why MH and I have no intention of sharing names...even ones we're just tossing around.

Roger that. we aren't telling a soul. Our stock answer, when asked, is "we are narrowing down a list and are open to suggestions!"

Truth: we have a first name chosen, I'm trying to talk DH into my preferred MN, and we are NOT open to suggestions.

dmbaf69 · December 2012

Two suggestions that are working for us:

- don't tell anybody what names you like, just say "we don't know yet, it's so tough"

- make a "Name Box" out of a shoe box and allow people to put their name suggestions in there. It's an awesome way to help these people who will be a part of your support network once the baby is born to have their input without you having to react to it.

prazenjc · December 2012

maybe it is because i was the last one in my family to have children, but no one has tried to name them for me. we have announced what we think we will name them and haven't had a lot of negative feedback at all.

Ulfberth War Bear · December 2012

We have a few pushy family members also. As a joke, we picked names from video games and told people those were the names we were considering. Just watching the speechless, shocked expressions about names like Ulfberth, daedra, and Farkas has been highly entertaining.

hoopduck · January 2013

I have read a lot of posts lately about couples getting flack from their families regarding their possible name choices, their inlaws demanding they get a say in the name of the LO, or insist it MUST be named after so and so, and can't possibly be this name or that name for x reason. My Dh and I will NOT be sharing our name choices with anyone at all. People will find out when the ink is drying on the birth certificate and their is no room for anyone to moan or complain. Our baby, our choice.

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