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August 2012 Moms
Bemyselfandi
member
!["Lilypie](denied:"http://lb4f.lilypie.com/C0E7m6.png")
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Shelbeh
Bemyselfandi
member
Alright. I'm going to brace myself for some flaming...but you need to hear this. I am not bullying you. I just need to be completely honest with what's going on...things I hear, things I read...it's not ok. You need to know all of this.
You're almost 17, right?
Then you SHOULD be mature enough to hear this.
Get rid of the douche bag. Seriously. Anyone who has been in prison for anything doesn't deserve to be around my child, much less help physically raise her, until years of proven improvement in personality and any ability to have healthy relationships. Financially, yes. He should financially support his daughter. But other than that...It's going to be hard. But you knew that coming into this. Stop letting him call you names. Stop letting yourself believe you're a wh-ore. Do you know the meaning of "wh-ore"?
whore (h?r, h
r)
n.
1. A prostitute.
2. A person considered sexually promiscuous.
3. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
intr.v. whored, whor?ing, whores
1. To associate or have sexual relations with prostitutes or a prostitute.
2. To accept payment in exchange for sexual relations.
3. To compromise one's principles for personal gain.
Ok, now that we've come to the conclusion that you're not a whore...let's move on.
Stop writing stupid stuff on your FB wall. You are much smarter than this. Have you ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? Let me just say, all of this "woe is me" crap seems so disheartening. I hate seeing it. Everyone around you is going to respond showing you attention and want to help you. And that's exactly what you need. BUT... in a couple days you're going to be all "Thank the lucky stars" for the d-bag, when in reality, he should just suck it and get his life in order before he makes you feel worse than you need to. Anyways, my point? Keep crying wolf that you are so depressed and everyone around you is right that you're the biggest piece of crap. Then everyone you will say, "There, there. You're great mom," etc. But you keep doing this, no one's going to say anything after a while. Then when the time comes you REALLY need help, no one is going to be there.
It's time to grow up. It's time to realize your daughter needs you to be mature and not rely on other people's thoughts about you and feelings for you. The D-bag obviously doesn't think too highly of you.
When I was 17, no...I didn't have a baby. But I was mature enough to understand that I needed to grow up and start living for myself (no, I didn't say BY myself, I said FOR myself). I had decisions made, what college I was going to, where I was going to live, who I had surrounding me to influence good decisions. You have a lot going for you. But it seems to me that you're ruining it over people who don't support you.
Ok, I'm starting to repeat myself and not make sense.
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Re: Shelbeh
I really wish you the best.
You obviously don't follow her on FB.
You're right. I stopped. Not that I don't agree with what was said; that was just some tough love there!
Shelbeh, Bemyself means nothing but love. To see a mom, young or old, say the things you say on FB is disheartening. You need to leave your BD, he doesn't sound like a good influence for your daughter or for yourself. You should have more self respect than to be with somone who treats you like that...and you shouldn't believe what he says.
It's okay to not be with your child's father, it really is, I promise. I think once you drop him, you can move on and start loving yourself like your child deserves. Could you imagine your mom saying those things about herself? Wouldn't it break your heart? Just imagine what kind of affect that has on your daughter when you are that upset, babies can sense that.
You did an amazing thing by keeping your child at your age...now do the right thing and make a loving, positive environment for her to grow up in.
I don't know, when I was 17 people gave me tons of advice. I took what advice served me most...I wasn't mature enough to realize what was best.
That being said, Shelbeh, take this advice. You're so sweet and you and your DD deserve so much more. You're setting yourself up for a lifetime of push and pull and heartache. There are so many good guys that will love you and your DD. GL and I'm always here if you need anything, okay? I'm just a PM away.
Shelbeh, you need to realize something. While we may not have been in your exact situation, ALL of us have been 17. This dbag is not the love of your life and I promise you will not be with him 5 years or even 2 years from now. He may not even be around at all. You will grow so much between the ages of 17 and 25, stop trying to rush things so much. It seems like you are so concerned with L having her father around but it honestly isn't worth the drama. Would you honestly rather he be around and be a deadbeat, in and out of her life, calling you names and emotionally abusing you and possibly her, or him not be around at all?
Kick his sorry azz out of your parents' house, and start focusing on yourself and your daughter. The only person who can change your life for the better is you.
I agree, you deserve better and your beautiful baby girl deserves better. Your daughter needs to learn from you that she deserves to be treated right by a man.
I am glad you are going to school and you love your daughter, keep strong, it won't be easy but you need to move on for yourself and for your daughter.
You can do it, we are here supporting you, we are on your side but you need to get rid of him. One day you may find someone decent, it doesn't mean you will be single forever.
I know this must be hard for you, please feel free to vent here and please at least consider some of this advice, we are concerned for you, we know you deserve better.
If nothing else motivates you, let the fact that your daughter will grow up as your relationship being the example of how relationships are supposed to be be your motivation. Do you want your daughter to think it's okay to be treated this way? I would guess not.
Mlynne, if she didn't want anyone to know, FB certainly wouldn't be the place to explain her situation in detail in multiple posts every single day. I get what you're saying, but I'm guessing BMandI knew that the rest of us would line up with advice and what not, so maybe that was why. It takes a village sometimes, KWIM?
SCANDAL!