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Relationship with baby daddy *LONG*

mimimimimiiiimimimimimiiii member
in Single Parents

So a month ago baby daddy broke up with me. We had agreed on meeting up yesterday (on 25th) for our Christmas dinner. Before that, we haven't seen each other for 2 weeks. Ever since we broke up, I was so depressed and cried everyday, I went to church everyday and pray to the God, hopefully he could guide me to the right direction.

 On that day, he got me a necklace for my xmas gift and put it on for me as well. He went for a move in the afternoon, walked around before dinner. We hung out like nothing happened, he as holding my hand and me the most of the time and he still cares about me so much. But deep inside me I knew after the night I will back to the reality again.

We were having a good time, so happy and treasure every moment. After dinner he came over to my place and stay over with me for the night, I started to cry constantly, I missed him so much, haven't seen him for so long and even talk to him or text him. I can't help myself and I tried to talk things out with him. I wanted him to be with me and the baby in the future so bad, I want us together, I love him so much.   

He was starting to cry and hold me so tight, he told me he loves me, and I really can feel it!! We both we crying together. But he told him it's not the right time yet, he wants to focus on his full time and part time job and maybe sign up for school again, so he has no time for me and told me not to rush things take it step by step. He wants to go with the flow, let fate decide it for us.

I feel like I can't do anything to change him, but we are really in love with each other. Then, the baby was moving by that time, he could feel it as well. He was so happy and said it's amazing, we were even talked about baby's name and stuff.

This morning he is gone for work, he kissed me and said goodbye. I can't stop crying. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do to make him come back to me. I'm scared, I don't even know when can I see him again. I pray to God everyday, why he can't make us together I can't even stop crying, I miss him and love him so much. I really hope he could let us to decide the fate not the fate decide us. 

Thank you for reading it till the end and giving me advise. 

Pulpit rockBabyName Ticker
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Re: Relationship with baby daddy *LONG*

  • kristak53kristak53 member
    I totally understand your feelings and how you want him to change, but the sad thing is, people don't change. You have some time so you can see how things go for now. Just be prepared to be a single mommy and have enough support around you to help and if things turn out to change, then you can be pleasantly surprised. But for now, just let it be. Your emotions are in overdrive right now trying to figure out which way is up so you need to find your friends and family and lean on them. Have faith that you can do this because you can. I promise you that.
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  • Soleil3Soleil3 member
    He sounds like a jerk. If he helped make that baby, he doesn't get the choice to be in and out and to screw with you emotionally like that, well that speaks wonders. Get a backbone, get over the ***, and get ready to be a strong single mom. And take him to court for child support.
    image image

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  • letzgoracing81letzgoracing81

    Sweetie...listen to me!  I KNOW you want this man in your life, and you want him to be a part of your baby's life.  But by continuing to see him (and sleep with him) you are literally letting him break your heart OVER AND OVER!  By allowing yourself 'hope' you are setting yourself up to be hurt every single time!  This up and down emotional rollercoast you are allowing yourself to be on...is NOT good for the the baby.  

    Maybe it is time you cut this guy off (no dates...NO sex) and allowed yourself a little stability????  Don't you deserve some peace in your life??  Instead of thinking of him....focus on the ONE stable--happy thing in your life....this beautiful baby growing inside you!!!!!

    Men will come back again and again for sex....if we keep putting out.  It does not mean they intend to stay or even care on some deep level.

    He did seem to display some emotional level during this last meeting that he has lacked up until now....maybe that is promising????  But by allowing yourself to invest in that....you are probably only going to end up crying.

    I see the picture of you....you are BEAUTIFUL! There are better men out there who will love you!  You deserve a man who will treat both you and your child right.

    Sweetie....let this one go.  I know it is heart breaking....but you have got to be strong for your baby!!!

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  • mldainmldain member
    imagetifanico:

    imageSoleil3:
    He sounds like a jerk. If he helped make that baby, he doesn't get the choice to be in and out and to screw with you emotionally like that, well that speaks wonders. Get a backbone, get over the ***, and get ready to be a strong single mom. And take him to court for child support.

    This!

    YOU are allowing him to emotionally manipulate you. YOU  are giving him the chance of coming back and leaving when its convenient for him. YOU have to make the decision to love yourself and your child and get yourself to therapy and start moving on. 

    Also living like this, in limbo is much much worse than accepting that its over. Do you want to be with a man that make up excuses for not wanting to be with you? My take is that he has someone else already. 

     

    Unfortunately I know her personally and she lives in a country where there are VERY few CS laws unless they were married at the time of delivery. I dont foresee this  happening. Being her very close friend I keep telling her to be strong and take things slowly and to not rush into any decisions she still has several months before the baby is born. I told her being a single mom my self the best thing for you is to be strong, trust god, and rely on your friends and family for support. For those who truly love you will not abandon you especially in your greatest need. 

    Does this sound accurate? 

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  • mldainmldain member
    imageletzgoracing81:

    Sweetie...listen to me!  I KNOW you want this man in your life, and you want him to be a part of your baby's life.  But by continuing to see him (and sleep with him) you are literally letting him break your heart OVER AND OVER!  By allowing yourself 'hope' you are setting yourself up to be hurt every single time!  This up and down emotional rollercoast you are allowing yourself to be on...is NOT good for the the baby.  

    Maybe it is time you cut this guy off (no dates...NO sex) and allowed yourself a little stability????  Don't you deserve some peace in your life??  Instead of thinking of him....focus on the ONE stable--happy thing in your life....this beautiful baby growing inside you!!!!!

    Men will come back again and again for sex....if we keep putting out.  It does not mean they intend to stay or even care on some deep level.

    He did seem to display some emotional level during this last meeting that he has lacked up until now....maybe that is promising????  But by allowing yourself to invest in that....you are probably only going to end up crying.

    I see the picture of you....you are BEAUTIFUL! There are better men out there who will love you!  You deserve a man who will treat both you and your child right.

    Sweetie....let this one go.  I know it is heart breaking....but you have got to be strong for your baby!!!

     

    THIS!!! Mimimimi listen to her 

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  • mldainmldain member
    imagetifanico:
    imagemldain:
    imagetifanico:

    imageSoleil3:
    He sounds like a jerk. If he helped make that baby, he doesn't get the choice to be in and out and to screw with you emotionally like that, well that speaks wonders. Get a backbone, get over the ***, and get ready to be a strong single mom. And take him to court for child support.

    This!

    YOU are allowing him to emotionally manipulate you. YOU  are giving him the chance of coming back and leaving when its convenient for him. YOU have to make the decision to love yourself and your child and get yourself to therapy and start moving on. 

    Also living like this, in limbo is much much worse than accepting that its over. Do you want to be with a man that make up excuses for not wanting to be with you? My take is that he has someone else already. 

     

    Unfortunately I know her personally and she lives in a country where there are VERY few CS laws unless they were married at the time of delivery. I dont foresee this  happening. Being her very close friend I keep telling her to be strong and take things slowly and to not rush into any decisions she still has several months before the baby is born. I told her being a single mom my self the best thing for you is to be strong, trust god, and rely on your friends and family for support. For those who truly love you will not abandon you especially in your greatest need. 

    Does this sound accurate? 

    Where does she live and has she consulted a lawyer? 

    Hong Kong and yes 

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