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High needs 10 mo old

MegM2012MegM2012
in Attachment Parenting
When do high needs kids get easier? My poor back is killing me as my son can not put himself to sleep and needs to nurse and be held or lay in bed with me. Otherwise he wakes instantly. Plus he is fussy and wants to be carried around most of the day.

Also I can't go places further than15 minutes in the car or there is an epic meltdown.

Anyone have older hn kids that can offer hope it share how their LO is?

Thanks
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Re: High needs 10 mo old

  • skibunny59skibunny59 member

    I just posted a similar thing about DD and sleep.  She is 9 months old and cannot put herself to sleep and also needs to be nursed.

    As for the car, my DD used to hate the car and one day ( I guess around 6 or 7 months) she was fine.  Now she still gets fussy in the car from time to time but we found a music CD that she loves and that usually calms her down.

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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member

    Nursing side-lying in bed was my solution to this problem.  DD stopped nursing to sleep at bedtime around... 14mo?  Maybe 16?  She still nurses to sleep for her (now only one) nap, and I strongly suspect that the moment she stops nursing to sleep for her nap is the moment she stops napping.

    I carried DD a lot - I have a bunch of carriers, and usually carried her on my back once she was old enough for it.

    At 2.5yrs, she's certainly better, but a lot of it is reading her and "paying the meter" the way she needs it.  For instance, she has a lot of trouble transitioning from sleep to wake, so in the mornings and after nap, I know that I need to just spend the first half hour with her, maybe just holding her, but not trying to go away from her and do other things.  And, if I know that I need to do something later in the morning, I need to spend 10-15 minutes with her so I can go do something for 10-15 (less when she was younger) on my own.  It's also about keeping sound levels down where she prefers them and other ways to "meet her" part of the way.

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  • blu-eyedwifeblu-eyedwife member

    Is he teething?  My guy got his first tooth at 10 months, and turned into a needy mess.  I actually had to wear a wrist brace because of the strain on my arm/wrist from carrying him all the time.  It get better shortly before his first birthday.

    When he started walking, we had a bigtime regression.  Now, in addition to needing to be on me like glue all the time, he was flipping out everytime I dropped him off at daycare.  Last week DH and I noticed it was better (he's 14.5 months) at home, and I also noticed he had a molar come in.  So I think it's related to teething.  The past 2 days he's even gone back to normal with daycare dropoffs - no tears!

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  • resilient61resilient61 member
    Right around 2yo is when DS1 finally started to become a little more independent on his own.  He still has to fall asleep with me/us if we want him asleep at a decent hour, and joins us in our bed as soon as he wakes up.  He also climbs over & sits on my lap as soon as I take my last bite at meals & wants me to feed him the rest of his dinner.  He often wants to be held & carried, but we have to trade that for a good cuddle session on the couch now, because as soon as he showed his independence we took advantage of it & are 6 months along with DS2.  DS1 is still pretty needy at times, but very independent at others.   Mainly, he's old enough to respect that there are boundaries. He doesn't really understand why the boundaries are there, but we're working on the "whys" now.  Also, the more proactive & intentional I am with quality one-on-one time early in the day, the more space he seems to give me later in the day. I never push him away because it tends to make him cling more, and because I know the days he wants to be this close to me are already fading & I'll want them back when they're gone.  It will get better, but it may just take time... and a heating pad for your back.  Stay strong & keep up the good work in the meantime!
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  • cpmichcpmich member
    You are also in the developmental timing for separation anxiety. Wearing them can help but really at least a few months need to pass... Good luck!
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