If you are over 40 will you have another baby after this one?

Hennessy · December 2012

I have an almost 4 month old, I am now 41. This is our first child... and we decided to wait to get pregnant. So, the fact that we started trying after I turned 40 was 100% a conscious decision. We fortunately got pregant on our own and we have a happy and healthy baby.

I had always assumed that I'd have more than 1 baby and now that I'm older, there's a part of me that thinks it's even more important for our son to have a sibling (it's my own morbid thinking but since DH & I might not be here too far into his adulthood, I think about the long term future and I want him to have family around). Anyhow, I'm still incredibly overwhelmed with this new baby and it's hard to even think about having another one... BUT, when I think about my age I feel like I should consider doing it right away.

So, my question for you is, if you plan to get pregnant again. How long will you wait?

shelley1002 · December 2012

I'm not over 40 but your thinking is similar to mine in wanting another. My DS is 16 months next week and we are currently trying for another. We would like him to have a sibling close in age. We are currently TTC until DS's 2nd birthday. If I'm not pregnant by then we decided that DS will be an only child. We may change our minds at that time about stopping though.

BrendaLou1969 · December 2012

I had my first at 41,. tried again miscarriage. We are on the waiting list for more embroys (snowflake babies) I swore I wouldn't have another child after 43 but I'm upping that to 45, just in case

BrideBuddies · December 2012

I was 42 when we had C... naturally pregnant after a miscarriage. Even though I'm now 45, we haven't ruled out #2 "officially" yet. But obviously, if it doesn't happen, I won't be too suprised.

MY OB told me she just had a first-time, naturally conceived mom who was 47.

Anything's possible. But honestly, I wouldn't wait too long to start again. I guess I'm not one to "plan" for these things... if it happens, great.

itsmevkb · December 2012

I'm 41 and just had our fourth and unbelievably, there is a big part of me that really thinks I want to have another. But, I'm just not ready physically or mentally (I have hard pregnancies) for another pregnancy and/or miscarriage. After six pregnancies in seven years, I need a break. I do worry though that taking a break will really equal us not having anymore children.

We did IVF to have our first daughter and have one frozen embryo that we will use to try for one more baby, but we've been told that there is a less than 20% chance of the transfer resulting in a pregnancy so I'm not getting my hopes up too high. I think we'll do the transfer sometime in 2014 when I'm 42 so realistically, if it doesn't work, the odds of me getting pregnant on my own at that point are pretty low.

Good luck with your decision.

GHBEA · December 2012

I had mine at 41 (March 2011)and 43 (Nov 2012) years old. We also wanted LO to have a sibling close to her age as we both have children from previous marriage. They are ages 21, 18 and 17. So it was important for us. If I wasn't such a high risk being pregnant I might have considered another LO but it's too much emotionally to be pregnant with risks.

When our LO was 5 months old we started to TTC as AF came back. Got pregnant right away then miscarried. Took another 5 months to get pregnant again.

coopsbaby · December 2012

We're currently ttc. It will be "our" first, but I have 3 from my previous marriage who are now 20, 17 and 15. I'm 39, and he is 46, so we're running out of time! We would love to have at least two, so that they would have a close in age sibling, but we'll have to see what happens. If the first doesn't take too long, we'll probably wait a bit to try, but if it takes a while we'll try as soon as AF returns.

Strunella · December 2012

I had DS at 41 and we started TTC when he was 6 months old...right after my first AF. Two under two wasn't my ideal, but I didn't feel like we had much choice because we want two children. I had two pregnancies this year, both ending in m/c. We've decided to move on to fertility treatments, so we're not giving up yet.

jhaley3077 · December 2012

I turn 40 in April and told my DH that I didn't want to have kids after that age because of the risks involved. But last Saturday we found out that I am pregnant and on Wednesday we found out that we are expecting TRIPLETS! We also have three other kids between us ages 22, 18, and 13.

Scramblersmom · December 2012

I just turned 40 and I feel exactly the same way you do. I know my time to have a 2nd is running out, but on the other hand, DS is kicking our rears! He is just so active and hard to keep up with that the thought of a 2nd child is just overwhelming. Right now we are 1 and done but sometimes I wish DS had a sibling so he won't be alone. I then remind myself that having a sibling doesn't necessarily ensure that he won't be alone. I guess if we do decide to have a second baby it needs to be done within a year or two.

gimmietimmies · December 2012

I am not having any more, but it has nothing to do with approaching 40. Five is more than enough.

shelley1002 · December 2012

jhaley3077:
I turn 40 in April and told my DH that I didn't want to have kids after that age because of the risks involved. But last Saturday we found out that I am pregnant and on Wednesday we found out that we are expecting TRIPLETS! We also have three other kids between us ages 22, 18, and 13.

Congrats and wow on having triplets. H&H 9 months.

superaunt · December 2012

40 and one and done

stever · December 2012

I recently turned 39. I want to try for a 3rd baby but probably won't, not because of my age but because of my health(I have MS). If I didn't have MS then I'd probably want to try for another when DS2 was 1 or 2, which would mean I was close to 40 or 41 when we TTC and 41 or 42 when I delivered.

I don't think I'd try too much after that, but that's just me.

anchiba · December 2012

I will turn 41 soon and our plan is to just not prevent things and see what happens. If we end up with a second child that will be awesome, but if not that's okay too. I'll be happy either way, though DH wants another child.

I think it would be good for our son to have a sibling, but my experience with siblings hasn't been the most positive. I love my brothers but our mutual relationships haven't always been good, and I'm distant from one and friendly-but-not-too-close with the other. This saddens me deeply, but there's too much family dramas getting in the way that I'm just too old to fight anymore. My mother had such a horrible relationship with her five siblings (one of them, married to a Canadian diplomat, got my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, to illegally sign over property owned by my mother to them, which they then sold and divided the profits!), that she no longer considers herself related to them. Moral: having siblings doesn't necessarily make your life better! I was an only child for almost six years and often wish I stayed one.

But as I get older and fertility approaches a looming cliff, I find myself okay with trying for another, but also okay if the cliff gets there first and whatever fertility I may have falls right off. ^_^

Neither of us wants to do fertility treatments so either it happens or it doesn't. I NEVER want to go through the stress and misery of actively ttc again in my life.

ChristieandChristopher · December 2012

I was 41 when my first was born and 42 when number 2 made her entrance. Two little ones under 2 for a little over 6 months was not as much of a big deal as is now with both of them all over the place. Life is chaotic and I am pretty much exhausted all the time (good exhaustion, that is). I don't think that my body could go through another pregnancy again and recouperate to scramble after three, though. Conception at this point may not be a problem (as I proved to be more fertile than expected), but the increased risks for parental age related issues with another baby is just too much for me to bear. Therefore, my husband got the snip-snip a little over a week ago for which I am very grateful. (he is on the mend, now...see older post) We have been blessed with two, healthy, beautiful children and we will concentrate on giving them the best possible childhood that we can.

nawlinsgrl · December 2012

DD will be 7 months old next week. We needed IVF to conceive her, and knew we wanted two kids, so based on both my RE and OB's recommendation that we get started again before I turn 40 (which will be in early March), we did IVF #2 in November and were lucky enough to get pregnant on our first IVF again.

We ended up with 4 frosties, so we'll need to figure out what to do with those once this baby arrives, but we are definitely two and done, regardless of my age.

HelgaFunk · December 2012

I'm so glad you guys are talking about this. I'm 39 and will be 40 when I have my first child but have a step-son that's 11. My husband jokingly tells me that he's going to give me 12 babies but like many others the risks that come with AMA concern me. I'd love to have two kids but won't go out of my way to make it or prevent it from happening after this one is born. I figure that if my body is able to handle it then I'll deal with whatever is thrown at me (up to a point... which isn't 12).

Starfish02807 · December 2012

I am 40 and would like another one after this one. I have concerns about getting pregnant while nursing and waiting too long etc. I definately would like another and am hoping it happens soon after this one is born!

ridesbuttons · December 2012

I'm 43. I've got 2 boys and I'm done.

The average lifespan for a woman in the USA is now, what, 81? You are expected to live well in to your children's adulthood even at this 'advanced' age.

But I understand the urgency. After DS1 was born, we waited about 3 months before actively trying for #2. They are 18 months apart and while there were some very hard years in there, I wouldn't change a thing.

Pesky · December 2012

Had I waited longer, I would still have another. I wanted at least 2. Now that I have 2, I am about 95% sure we are done. Both DH and I are content with 2 and even though we had discussed 3 originally (DH's idea, I was fine with 2), we both feel our family is complete. I think it is the "completion" question more than anything. Depending on age, I'd probably start giving it a go when my dr cleared me which would likely be close to a year after the birth (I had difficulties afterwards).

BarefootContess · January 2013

I was 40 when my fourth son was born and will be close to 42 when this one is born. We are done. I have been either pregnant or nursing since I was 34 and am getting tired. I love my life, though. Giving our children siblings has been a priority for us.

jcrising · January 2013

I am in the same place as you - had our first when I was 42 (she is now 4 months old) and we are planning to try again starting in April. I agree that since we are older (and so are her cousins -- all are teenagers), it would be nice for her to have family close in age and who will be around longer than her dad and I.

We want the kids to be close in age anyway, but really the issue is whether I can get pregnant again. We had no issues (thank God!) during my first pregnancy but I feel like every month we wait will make it harder and harder. My OB said that normally she would say wait a year in between pregnancies, but given my age (and my husband's age - 48) six months is fine, so that's what we are doing. Good luck!

KerryHS · January 2013

Have three children. The last one I had a 42, but there is a big age gap (9 years) between the 2 child and the 3rd child. I wish I had the guts and the engery to go for the fourth, but short of winning the lottery I don't know how we could do it. I would need ALL KINDS OF HELP to be able to pull off having four kids while still working full time. I don't think I have it in me, but there is a tiny little part of me that wonders if we should. Good luck!

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