anyone elses parents not meet your child yet?

hooslisa · December 2012

subject: any one elses parents not met your child yet?

in the car now heading to my dads in nc.

we don't have a strained relationship. it's more of a non relationship.

my mom left him before i was one. she cheated on him and left him for the next guy, who had been his friend. the next guy was navy and we moved to Greece when i was 3ish. so, basically i never lived with my dad and he was kind of forced to let go and move on.
as an adult, our relationship is about meeting obligations. he it's very set in his life and not looking to have things shaken up.

he didn't come meet dd earlier, basically because the trip was too far. it's 6 hours. it was an inconvenience he wasn't looking for.
he had offered to come up for a visit now. we opted to go to their place instead.
I'm nervous. i want his approval of her so badly even though i know it's ridiculous to hope for. i want her to have the relationship with him that i never did. ...sort of living vicariously through her. i know it won't happen so i don't want to set myself up for disappointment....but, i will anyway.

so, am i alone? has anyone elses parents not meet your baby yet? why?

sorry for the ramble.
wish me luck!

bigbootyjudi · December 2012

My dad hasn't. We haven't spoken in almost ten years. He did, however, know I was pregnant thanks to FB and my ex stepmom and I had built up hope that he would contact me wanting to see S and have a relationship with him. He never did and I shouldn't have ever thought he would. He has never put effort towards any relationship he's ever had in his entire life. Still, it makes me sad.

Good luck!

valeriej6 · December 2012

Me. My father (more like a sperm donor) hasn't met DD...heck he's only seen me once in 28 years. He's a Psychiatrist and now the president of 4 hospitals, so you'd think he would know what to say when we saw each other 8 years ago, but didn't. He hasn't contacted me to see how things are going...nothing. He doesn't even know DD exists. Oh well...I thank my lucky stars he wasn't in my life.

Good luck to you and I hope your DD and Dad can have a fantastic relationship...I know how you feel

mamahawk12 · December 2012

Sorry you're having to deal with the stress, I can only imagine. He will absolutely love her, how could you not!? Once he meets her hopefully he will realize how amazing it would be to have her in his life and will make more of an effort. Please let us know how it goes!!

hooslisa · December 2012

anbeck4:
My dad hasn't. We haven't spoken in almost ten years. He did, however, know I was pregnant thanks to FB and my ex stepmom and I had built up hope that he would contact me wanting to see S and have a relationship with him. He never did and I shouldn't have ever thought he would. He has never put effort towards any relationship he's ever had in his entire life. Still, it makes me sad.

Good luck!

it's tough, anbeck.
we can be successful, wealthy, happy and have everything we want but still, there is that small, hidden part that will always hope against hope that things will be different.
i keep telling dh we need to channel that energy into being the best parents we can be.

WhimsyGirl14 · December 2012

My dad hasn't because he lives across the world now. He came out for our wedding, and he doesn't have the money to come visit just yet. She'll probably be 1 or 2 before he is able to meet her.

hooslisa · December 2012

BlueDevilLady:
Not parents..but my oldest brother and his wife just met Cam for the first time over Christmas. They didn't even know he existed or that I was married until we sent our our Christmas card which was a picture of the baby and had my married name on the return address. I hope everything goes well for you Lisa.Btw, where in NC are you heading if you don't mind me
asking?nbsp;

calabash

lady_tytah · December 2012

If my dad and kept acting out and not by the saving grace of my hubs, then you wouldn't have. My mother hasn't but then again I haven't seen her since I graduated high school. That is almost 7 yrs ago. She hasn't seen neither one if my kids.

nopegoat · December 2012

My mom hasn't met Rhett yet. We talk on the phone regularly and have a great relationship she just lives 15hrs away and hasn't been able to make the trip.

I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters. My oldest sister hasn't even met my first yet. I hate we are so far apart.

halvorsonl00 · December 2012

No one from DH's family has. But we don't have a relationship with them, and don't want one. Good luck. I hope everything goes how you want it to.

Manda-Kay · December 2012

DH's dad hasn't. DH hasn't spoken to him on 2.5 years. He never knew we were even expecting. He only found out we had a baby because DH's brother put on FB that he was going to be a dad and someone commented that DH's grandma was going to be a great grandma again. DH's dad called around trying to find out who the first great grandbaby was until someone told him it was us. He had the opportunity to meet him at Christmas but decided that his stepdaughter not getting a personal invitation to Christmas was a good reason not to come ... his loss.

SpruceGrouse · December 2012

My Dad hasn't because he is a teacher and couldn't come over. I am going to surprise him on his birthday in March which is the start of his week off. My sister will pick DS and I up from the airport and my parents will have no idea.

DH's mom and her husband will never meet him.

MoFree · December 2012

My parents met Lila a few weeks ago for the first time and that was only because I took her to Chicago. If I waited for them to visit me he11 would freeze over first. My father and I are not at all close and he cannot get past the fact that my daughter is being raised in a different faith from his. My mother is terrified of flying and somewhat agoraphobic so she rarely travels more than a half hour from home.

I hope your parents are thoroughly smitten with Koa and realize what they have been missing.

amaite · December 2012

My dad hasn't. It's been a long time since I've seen or talked to him. He doesn't show an interest in being in the lives of his own children, so I don't think he would for a grandchild.

DH's father hasn't. That's because he lives in another country.

fastcarsandfreedom3319 · December 2012

DH's parents and sister, and my youngest sister will be meeting LO for the first time in less than 2 weeks when we fly from AZ to CT. It sucks this long distance thing.

Andreabks · December 2012

we do have a slightly strained relationship with my parents but they also live 12 hours from us. they saw her on Skype on Christmas for the first time, but haven't met her yet. they may come visit when the weather gets better or when mom gets tubes put in her ears and can fly again

stever · December 2012

DH's dad hasn't. MIL came out to look after DS1 when DS2 was due, but she and FIL live 6000 miles from us and FIL still works so a visit isn't likely soon.

VeniVidiScripsi · December 2012

allielemon:
Moral of the story: I have no relationship with my bio mom, therefore DS doesn't either. It's best for all of us, IMO. I'll have to see her if/when my bro gets married and that's probably it. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't eat at me at times or I don't struggle with it, but, it is what it is.

This is me with my father (or as Valeriej6 put it, sperm donor). He unfortunately HAS seen Bella. He walked into my hospital room (uninvited) a few days after she was born and complained that no one ever calls him. Meanwhile we hadn't spoken in 3 years, he wasn't invited to my wedding Sept 2011.

Long story short, he is a drug addict and blames everyone else for his problems, owes me lots of money and is a pathological liar.

Sometimes it better not having someone in your child's life when then did nothing but make yours miserable. Don't let their opinion matter!

Tula214 · December 2012

My LO hasn't met my dad yet, or either of SOs parents. We talk to them, but they live far away.

We are in Florida, my dad in Jersey, SOs mom in upstate New York, SOs dad in Arizona.

MommyMelRN · December 2012

My mom and stepfather haven't met Gabe yet. We don't have the best relationship, but we talk. They live 1700 miles away, and they are broke. She's also technologically challenged, so there has been no Skype or FaceTime like we have had with the rest of the family. They'll meet him when we go home to visit, Santa gave me a trip home for Christmas :-)

merricksmom · December 2012

My husband's mom has not met Stella yet. We are actually going out to Boston tomorrow to see everyone. No drama here. We just couldn't make our schedules work. What will be interesting is seeing DH' s three older sisters. He was annoyed at them and wasn't speaking to them for a bit. So they found out we were married and expecting all at once. I am anticipating some interrogations. Good luck. I know how hard it is to not have the relationship you wish for with your dad. But all Los needs are you and her daddy

binklesss · December 2012

My mom hasn't met Emery. I assume she has seen a couple pics that my sister posted on Facebook. My mom left me and my sister when I was 4, showed back up when I was about 6 and we had to go live with her, then when we were visiting my grandparents when I was 15 she had her boyfriend call my grandparents and tell them she and her bf were moving out of town and we should go pack up our apartment and stay with my grandparents.

She did come to my wedding, which wasn't as bad as it could have been...she sort of stayed in contact for a while, but moved again 3 years ago and no one had heard from her until this July. She sends me a text now and then but I haven't responded to most of them. She sent me a nice blanket that she crocheted for Emery, but she just doesn't see that she did anything wrong. (All the times she left are just the tip of the iceberg.) I told her that many of the decisions she made hurt her kids, and she sent me a card saying "I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong". My grandma has offered to let my mom move in with her, but I really hope she doesn't, because I don't want her thinking that just because she's back in town she gets to play grandma.

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