STMs Who Were On The Fence.

mollyxcate · December 2012

I was just thinking I don't think I ever asked this. All you STMs, if you were on the fence about having another LO after your first what swayed you? Regardless of how much you love your new LOs do you think it was a good idea? I know it's hard to think of it like that and I'm not trying to be cold or rude, I just can't think of a clearer way to define it.

sosoph · December 2012

We always wanted kids - like toddler and older. So, I wasn't ever on the fence about having a second, but was never excited about the baby phase and just looked at it as the "necessary evil" part to a lifetime of joy. I never had baby fever. Both times it's been so much better than I thought it would be. No regrets, but we are still looking forward to E being a little older.

merricksmom · December 2012

I always wanted 2 kids. Until my oldest turned 2. By then I was a single mom. Then I met DH and my son started to mature and his ADHD had improved. I was ready for a second one when he turned 5. And then we had trouble conceiving. By the time I found out we were expecting, I had accepted we would only have one child. I am happy we have two. It is fun. Even though the kids have an 8 year age gap, it's still exhausting. But we are enjoying it.

CLeigh03 · December 2012

We felt our family was complete with our first...for awhile. Then we really had an urge to grow it and give our son a sibling. We don't take TTC lightly at all and really wanted to be sure we wanted number 2.

We couldn't be more in love. Seeing our first with our second...words cannot explain.

We will think about a third as carefully as number 2!

xxbabycakesxx · December 2012

Dh and I always wanted a bunch of kids but righta after Ds1 was born I told everyone we were one and done lol. Once the trauma of labor wore off and the newborn stage was done, I started to get baby fever. We intended to space our kids out further but, well, that didn't happen lol. They're 20 months apart.

The big thing for me was realizing the shtty stages do pass and there is light at the end of the tunnel. So right now even though there are rough days, I know it'll get better and I still want at least one more kid.

Eta
Yes I think having another LO was a good idea for us. Its hard on finances but we manage. Its also soooo awesome to see Ds1 and Ds2 interact. I can't wait til they're older and will be best friends.

Grins04 · December 2012

Time changed my mind. For the first year I was heavily leaning toward one and done, even though I always wanted more than one child. More like 2-3 kids. Then when DS hit about 18 months I had this urge to start trying again. I had this strong desire to add on to our family. I knew it wasn't complete even though DS made us feel like a family. Probably because he was turning into this little person and was generally a very easy going toddler. I wanted a sibling for him. Not just for him as a child, but to have in his life forever. The baby phase is so short in comparison. I knew a year (or so) of little to no sleep and all the hard work of a baby (including my awful labor/delivery with DS) would be worth it in the end to have two kids. Before I know it, they'll both be grown and the hard work of a baby will be an afterthought.

I am very happy with our decision (though I'm not going to lie - I have found myself in tears wondering what I did - but that thought left my mind just as fast as it came to mind). DS is still coming around to DD, but I know in time it will get better as she's still kind of boring lol I can see he just wants her to be more interactive. It was very hard the first month, but by month 2 I started to figure it out (and those first two months I was very much like a single mom with DH gone 90% of the time). Now it isn't much harder than it was when it was just DS. I know in time they will argue and tattle on each other (and that will drive me crazy), but the good times will outshine the bad I'm sure.

WhimsyGirl14 · December 2012

Now that I've read this maybe I'll reevaluate in a few years. Thank OP for asking and those for responding.

Twizzle · December 2012

I always wanted two. DH was fine with one. We had a lot of trouble conceiving the second time, after no trouble the first, and so there were times where we went back and forth with should we keep trying for two or just be happy with one. Even after I was pregnant successfully I was having doubts of whether I was doing the right thing. My older son was 3 at that point and becoming so self sufficient and we were able to do so many things together that you can't do with a baby. I also worried that I was going to ruin his life by adding a new baby in.

Now that we have a baby also, while it is really hard in these first few months, I am LOVING what it has done for our family and our older son. The boys are both so in love with each other. I could just sit and watch them smile at each other forever. I know that once baby is bigger and old enough to play that they are going to be the best buds. I think it will also be easier in a few years when they can play with each other on their own. I'm so happy we have two.

nrb4576 · December 2012

CLeigh03:
We felt our family was complete with our first...for awhile. Then we really had an urge to grow it and give our son a sibling. We don't take TTC lightly at all and really wanted to be sure we wanted number 2. We couldn't be more in love. Seeing our first with our second...words cannot explain. We will think about a third as carefully as number 2!

This almost exactly for us! Seeing our daughters together is the absolute best feeling in the world. I was nervous we couldn't love our 2nd as much as we did our 1st, but your heart finds a new definition of love. It is just simply the best.

We thought we only wanted 2, but after seeing these 2 together, we are taking time to determine if our family "needs" more kids! Big Smile

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