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3rd Trimester
nany6115
member
REAL Women do not get an epidural!
nany6115
member
So I went to a birthday dinner last week for one of my mom?s friends. Of course my bump came into everyone?s conversation. This one lady decided it would be nice to tell me why I should not get an epidural. According to her, part of being a woman is giving birth and dealing with the pain of childbirth. REAL Women do not get epidurals cause it?s taking the easy way out. Also getting one will result in me getting a c-section! Really lady?! I was SO mad at everything she was saying and just wanted to hit her or something!
I just do not get what makes people think that they can tell me Im not a real woman because I choose to use an epidural. I do not think I should submit myself thru pain when there are options to help with it.
That?s it just needed to vent a bit 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: REAL Women do not get an epidural!
The choice is everyone's personal decision and there is no wrong choice. However, it is wrong to force your opinion onto others and make them feel like there is a wrong decision. I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut...I probably would have got in her face about it honestly.
Sorry that happened to you, just try to forget about it and know that you are making the best decision for you...and that is ALL that matters!
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
I was with you til the bolded part. Just as you have the right to an epidural, other women have the right to not want one. For some women, natural child birth is the way to go. For others, including myself, pain management is what is desired. While yes, she was pushy and opinionated, she has the right to those opinions. And for me, my botched epidural was a big part of the reason I ended up with a c-section.
I tried the whole natural thing for 4.5 hrs with DD 1, when the Noban medication making me loopy wore off the fowl language began. I was going to go all natural, but that was cancelled out by my pain. I would have been a smart mouth about it. I can't believe she said it would result in a c-section, any issue can result in it. I'm sorry lady they dark ages you came from are over maybe she needs to do some research before she makes a bold move like that.
I never said women didnt have a right to not want one. On that bolded part Im referring to myself not other women. I know an epidural is not for everyone and I do not talk down on women that choose not to get one. People do have a right to their own opinions, but they do not have a right to say Im not a REAL woman cause of it!
Meh. This is pretty par for the course in terms of others opinions on your pregnancy/labor/parenting.
And from the other side - no epidural with DS and a planned home birth - you get still get lots of people telling you you're crazy for not getting an epidural.
Personally, I just don't discuss a lot of my choices for labor or parenting because a) it's not anyone's business but my own and b) I don't want to hear what other people think of my choices. I know myself enough and have done enough research to be confident that my choices are what's best for me and my baby.
While I would've punched the lady in the face or something else undignified. I do not agree about your "dark ages" remark... I don't plan on using any pain medications and having minimal to no interventions if they can be avoided b/c RESEARCH shows it provides the best outcomes for mom and baby, including a reduced c/s risk. Medical interventions are tools to be pulled out as needed and if a woman feels they need an epidural that his HER choice and no one's business. But not having one doesn't make you uneducated.
All of this.
I probably would not have held my tongue, its a personal choice,
The dark ages remark was referring to before medication. Woman did not have the options they do today. Not using a medication is your choice, I tried but with a almost 10 pound child coming out I was not having it after I lost all focus. Some woman mange pain differently then others, i took it as fair as I could with pain only having the last 2 hr with the medication. As for research there is research against and for it so either way it depends on the person. I never said not having one makes you uneducated that's your words not mine. Just if your going to make a bold statement like that bothy idea should be viewed not just one. National library of medicine and national institue of medicine, states that doctors reported that out of all patients they have had who have gotten epidural only 14% resulted in a c-section, but it was not by medication means that caused that 14%. The person she was referring to was stating that getting an epiduaral resulted in a c/s.
I never said anything about punching her either my words were " I would have been a smart mouth about it".
I feel the same way. I'm a first timer trying "natural" birth - my friends think I'm nuts for not planning an epidural. If I'm in a lot of pain, I'll try other medications first. To each their own!
My nurse said to worry more about weight and laziness leading to a c-section before you blame a epi. LOL!
Point blank ppl have their opinion, poop happens. I usually answer to those ppl "we'll see when I get in the delivery room what I do" I go in with an open mind with the goal of me and baby healthy that usually shuts ppl up
Make a pregnancy ticker
It's all a matter of personal opinion. I'm personally not getting an epidural and using a birth center, but I'm getting so much crap about how "stupid" and "crazy" I am for choosing that.
The truth is, people are going to b*tch about anything you choose. People think it's their mission.
I've had two wonderful natural births, and would not choose an epi for myself. I'm very pro natural births in general.
The woman who spoke to you was ridiculously obnoxious. It's a personal choice. And really, who cares how someone else gets their baby out?
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Meh, people are always going to try to impose some sort of hierarchy of achievement. I've had two natural births and after the second I was talking to MIL about DH forgetting everything we learned in our birthing class before DS1 and not being derelict in his coaching duties. Her response was, "pshaw, they just stuck me in a room by myself to labor. Back in the day there were no epis or coaches or anything." Read: "stop complaining you spoiled modern girl."
I sort of took it personally until I remembered she's always sticking her foot in her mouth. Maybe that's the deal with your "real woman" lady.
My Blog
I didn't have an epidural. I don't think I am any MORE of a woman than anyone else. Helping a healthy, happy baby into the world one way or another is all that matters.
This lady is full of it and I would have said so. Real women? What are the ones that got epidurals fake women? WTF?
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
This lady I go to church with told me "Get the epidural you'll be in heaven." So I told her I'm hoping to go natural but am having an open mind. Her response... "Get the epidural, and don't let anyone give you a hard time." Umm...aren't you giving me a hard time for wanting to not get one?
I agree with pps you'd get it from both sides. People just like to shove their opinions in your face. Ignore it, have a happy healthy birth however you choose.
I have to agree with your OB. I've gone natural before with a "sunny side up"(back of his head was against my coccyx/sacrum during birth, meaning VERY painful), and I've also had an epidural with my 2nd. The 2 births were like night and day, and if I had to choose either experience for this one I'd choose the 2nd.
I had a woman tell me that it's a copout and my doctors were lazy because our bodies were meant to do this. I told her that back in the days of field squatting me and my baby would've died and that she should mind her own business.
People think they can say anything to pregnant women. You have every right to tell them to shove it!
Wow! What a horrible thing to say. I had an epidural last time and I will again this time. It is your choice to have one or not have one.
Also, I read something funny a few weeks back. It said, "You wouldn't go to the dentist to have work done and say no to Novocaine". I thought it was great.
I believe it is everyone's free choice. That lady should have not been so rude.
Pfft. This is just like my MIL always tells me that she had four children naturally. I always tell her that she is clearly the better woman and wins the child birthing competition (while raising one eyebrow).