Age appropriate gifts/toys/etc

ambrvan · December 2012

How do you get the point across to relatives that you do not think a tablet is an appropriate Christmas gift for a 6yo, among other things? And even more importantly, how do you talk to DH about age appropriate gifts and age of appropriate responsibility for certai ly items? Anytime the subject is approached, DH and I not to mention the inlaws have very different views. No one eveb wants to take the time to listen to why I think she may not be old enough for such item. All I get is, "Just because your childhood sucked doesn't mean you gave to make theirs suck, too."

ambrvan · December 2012

Btw, yes, long time no see. I still lurk every now and then. :

WWMS · December 2012

Tablets can be used for educational purposes. They have so many apps that aren't games so I think it is appropriate if used properly.

My 2 1/2 year old is getting a NABI 2 for Christmas, which is a tablet made for kids. My niece who is 8 has a kindle fire and my nephew who is 4 has an android one. I know many more kids that also have them.

Why don't you think it's appropriate? You can get one for under 100 so it's not like its a super expensive gift if that's your reason.

Ooglybear · December 2012

Honestly, if you've told them that you dont think it appropriate, I'd save my breathe after that. You are the one there on a daily basis, right? So just limit the usage to what you feel is appropriate.

mamastich · December 2012

Ooglybear:
Honestly, if you've told them that you dont think it appropriate, I'd save my breathe after that. You are the one there on a daily basis, right? So just limit the usage to what you feel is appropriate.nbsp;

It's their money but it will be in your home. Do with it what you will. No biggie

twister22 · December 2012

mamastich:
Ooglybear:
Honestly, if you've told them that you dont think it appropriate, I'd save my breathe after that. You are the one there on a daily basis, right? So just limit the usage to what you feel is appropriate.nbsp;
It's their money but it will be in your home. Do with it what you will. No biggie

This exactly. Oh, and I wouldn't put up with my in-laws talking disrespectfully to me (the "just because your childhood sucked...")

Nineoceans · December 2012

Um we got our 7 year old a tablet. He plays spelling, math and reading games on my iPad and I'm ready for him to have his own, much cheaper version.

As for other gifts you just plain don't want, my IL's got my SS drums last year after my H said a million times don't get him drums, we don't have the room, we don't want to hear it.

They got him drums of course. But guess what? We didn't take them home. We told SS this was a gift that would stay at the grandparents house he only whined a little bit and then let it go. It shocked my ILs a bit but we just didn't load them in the car. I'd like to say my ILs learned from that but of course they didn't, but at least we don't have a set of drums in our house.

Littlejen22 · December 2012

Hey, how have things been? Hope SD is doing well, DS too. I would be open minded to what people want get her but in the end you are the one raising her and I would tell them that you will not allow it and will have to take it away so they will really suck if they do that to her. As for your DH, all you can do is talk about how you feel and compromise.

And I applaud you for not ripping off their heads, you have had a rough life, they are seriously going to throw that in your face?.

xmaryrickx · December 2012

What is age inappropriate about a tablet? My friend got her four year old a super cheap one for Christmas. Loaded with books, educational games, some fun games, etc. I am all for traditional books and games but the tablet does allow for a lot of diversity and options in one easy to keep track of location.

SueBear · December 2012

The biggest problem is not your ILS, it's your H. He needs to be on board with you. Is this a gift for his child as well (in which case, he gets to have an opinion as well, as long as it is HIS opinion, not just mimicing his parents). If it is for your child (not dh's), you get to decide. If it's for his child (your stepchild), then he gets a bigger vote.

You can also always say "you can play with XXX toy when Daddy is here, but not when he is not around because I will not monitor you." Ditto if your ILS give you a gift you don't approve of "wow! that's a great present to play with at grandma and grandpas!"

I would put an end to the "just because your childhood was deprived....." argument. That doesn't open discussion and an exchange of ideas. That is a put down to you (you didn't have, and that is why you don't want your child to have).

fellesferie · December 2012

My 7-year-old has his own Kindle Fire, and my 2-year-old has basically adopted my Kindle Fire. DS had one accident with his Kindle after he'd had it for six months, but they are both otherwise pretty good about taking care of their electronics.

I don't think there is anything inherently age inappropriate about a tablet. BUT if you and YH don't want her to have one, then that is your prerogative as parents. If someone asks you ahead of time about a gift I don't think it's wrong to say "no, sorry, I don't think that's a good idea." Or if they don't ask before they buy, then I think "this will be great for you to play with at grandma's!" is a good response.

jnjmommy0609 · December 2012

I get the whole age in-appropriate thing. What if they break it etc. Plus to be blunt kids should be out doing active things or reading and not sitting down playing games. But upside to tablets is they are life savers when it comes to going to appointments or other things that calls for kids to be still. I say let them spend the cash on it but limit the usage just like you would any other electronics

hopanka · December 2012

My DS got the first iPad when he was 5. That was 2 years ago. It's still working well, I got him the Otter, so it's very hard to break. I never regretted it, it's a great educational AND play tool. They use iPads at DS's school as well during their computer class. This is their generation - times have changed - and it's something we shouldn't fight, IMO. Our kids will be expected to be perfectly computer literate and anyone that won't will be at disadvantage. And if grandparents want to spend their money on a tablet and your husband thinks it's a good idea, why not?

On the other hand, I wouldn't put up with their comments about your childhood. You need to set them straight. That's unacceptable. Also, you can let everyone know, that you are not responsible for making sure that SD is taking care of the thing and if it breaks, it's not on you.

nattyncbride · December 2012

Ooglybear:
It's their money but it will be in your home. Do with it what you will. No biggie

I agree with this. I also think a tablet for a 6-year old is not age appropriate. I understand people do it, but in my house, I would not want it either. However, their money, their choice. You can just limit it to very little time a day. And as she gets older, she can use it more.

ambrvan · December 2012

Thank you, everyone. You all really opened my eyes up to the reasons a tablet would make a good gift for a 6yo year old. You also gave me some good ideas on how to handle the situation. Actually, most of yoir advice on letting them buy it since we will be the ones monitoring usage at home is very similar to my dad's advice. Thank you, ladies.

Littlejen, we are doing well. SD is excelling in school, had her tonsils out and tubes put in her ears beginning of November. Her halfsiblings who movedI across theto country with theirthe father are participating in building a criminal case against BM, but SD still has supervised visitation with BM whenever she happens to come around. DS just turned 3 a week ago. We are all sick with atrep throat. I finally scored the perfect job and am incredibly happy there. DH is halfway through EMT school and will grad in May. I started school again this past Fall, too. One class at a time. Really I am getting a degree for the job I am already doing, so I am in no rush to finish. Taking my time so I don't take too much time away from the kids. For the first time in a long time, things seem to be going in the right direction.

lily_721 · December 2012

In general, I am not in favor of children playing video/computer games. However, I did play with my 5 y/o neice over the holiday with her tablet. She plays puzzles. It was actually a pretty good game for her. Its not something I would encourage for unlimited time but worked really well during the time she was using it.

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