I am seriously considering asking my son's father to terminate his parental rights. He does pay CS, but is not willing to move to the same state or visit his child, and he does nothing to foster a relationship between our child and the rest of his family. 3 years have gone by now and they don't acknowledge him whatsoever, and they only live an hour away.
I am considering the terminating rights now, while my son is young enough not to be affected by broken promises. I am more than willing to give up the CS too. The money isn't worth all the pain of watching my child get ignored.
Has anyone done this? Is it possible? What can I expect? I'm in MO.
TIA,
Nikki
Re: Question about terminating parental rights
Every state is different. Typically, though, you cannot terminate his rights without either:
a) his agreeing to it
b) proof that criteria are met for grounds to terminate.
I live in WI and went through an involuntary TPR (had my son's BF rights terminated). Here it is very specific, and difficult to do. There are criteria that need to be met, someone else in place to adopt the child, and some other specifics. My advice would be to contact an attorney who deals with these types of cases. If he is unwilling to sign his rights over you will have a lengthy court process. I would look up the laws on this for your state, get an attorney, and be prepared for a long journey. Mine took 8 months and all said and done cost me over $30K.
Good luck.
This has great information, and while I didn't read all of it, sounds like BF should be able to sign over rights IF it's in best interest of the child, and that BF agrees to do it.
https://www.courts.mo.gov/hosted/judedintra/juvenile%20Handbook/Termination_of_Parental_rights/TePaRights.htm
BD did make it to town in May, but that turned into a huge mess. I bent over backwards, taking off work unpaid, to accomodate the one day BD allotted for LO, only to be told to wait 3 hours later to bring LO so that he and his family could sleep in after several days of family celebration that LO was not included in.
There is no custody agreement. BD had disappeared when I dropped the pregnancy bomb, stating he wanted nothing to do with LO, and I had to go through the state to establish paternity and get the CS order. BD was not present for LO's birth and he is not on the BC.
After the CS was established, BD had a change of heart and said he wanted to be a father to LO and we put aside differences and actually became good friends. But it's been 2 years now, and nothing has changed. BD's family does not acknowledge LO at all. BD's wife calls LO "inappropriate dinner conversation" in front of her two grown "children".
I think it all would have been easier if BD had stayed absentee. instead, I feel like he's been telling me what I want to hear with no intentions of ever following through. I got my hopes up for LO's sake that he'd have this great family, and now I see that's probably never going to happen. And BD never seems to understand why I'm upset or angry about the way things stand.
So maybe terminating rights has a selfish motive. I feel like if I don't do it, I'll never get BD to stop trying to make promises he knows he won't keep. I doubt he'd fight me at all on it, and both he and his wife would be more than happy about not paying CS anymore.
Sorry to just ramble so much, didn't mean to. Maybe I just needed to rant and vent and get it all off my chest? I just know I feel such sadness when I look at LO and think that he has all this family that don't care anything about him.
Yeah, I have to agree with other pp's, I don't see the point. And honestly, why are you even bothering to entertain "empty" promises. This all sounds like a tremendous PITA for no reason. If he bothers to call to try to set something up, say no. You can do that. You don't have an agreement. And he has never seen his child, not like you can leave him alone with the child anyway, so you will have to be there to supervise the visit. Thats sounds fun.
I guess I don't get when people complain that the other family isn't involved or the BD isnt involved Then too bad for them, and frankly, less for you to deal with. I am sure your family and yourself provide all the love a child needs. I know I do and my family does. Piss on the other ones, all your child is missing out on is a life time of broken promises and disappointment. Gee, thats a shame, right??