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August 2012 Moms
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Advice

AmySmolosAmySmolos member
in August 2012 Moms
My DH is in school and gets to watch our DS way more than me. He is a great dad and is very hands on which I love. But we are very different. I am a scheduler and note when I feed ds, when he naps, etc. My dh is very laid back. For example instead of feeding him when its been about three hours he waits until ds starts fussing then realizes all the bottles are dirty so has to wash them. Meanwhile ds starts crying for his bottle. Do I try to say something or is this the control freak coming out? I honestly dont know if saying anything will do anything anyway but it causes some tension between us. Advice?
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Re: Advice

  • CaliValCaliVal member

    I know it's annoying but I wouldn't dictate how he should parent his son. If I were you, later on I might say, "Honey it might be more helpful to if you washed the bottle when DS is sleeping so it's ready when he gets up..." or something to that effect. Your DS is being taken care of, although it's not the same way you would do it. If something your DH is doing bothers you, maybe you should leave the room for a sec or something. I'm sure you could use the "me" time. ;)

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  • AmySmolosAmySmolos member
    I have done the premade bottlea before but I guess its my wishful thinking that he will just recognize it before it happens lol! I need to just settle down but its hard when I am working and I have already told him I am jealous he gets more time with ds than me. I need to pick my battles and this is one I should leave alone. I wouldnt appreciate him telling me what to do. Thanks ladies!
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  • jessalynn521jessalynn521 member
    I think it isn't something that I would let ruffle me up. Be glad that your son is well taken care of and your husband is so hands on! When your baby is grown up he won't remember whether bottles were ready ahead of time, just the memories made, and it seems like your husband is doing a good job of that.
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  • MzbrMzbr

    imagemlynne37wiu:
    Could you buy some extra bottles and make sure there are some clean ones on hand when you know you will be gone and DH will have to feed him?  Not to try and not make him responsible for cleaning them, but I'm all about picking and choosing my battles.  DH and I have been together for 10 years so I know how he "works" and if this was me, I'd say something like, "Oh, hey, I'm going to get some clean bottles out for you before I go that way you don't have to prep too much."  He would think it was really nice of me and it would ingrain it into his mind little by little that clean bottles are a good thing. :)

    This! I find its best to pick your battles. There will be things that you will have to speak up about and this maybe is not one of them.  

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  • WhimsyGirl14WhimsyGirl14 member
    I'm in the same situation, but I just let that stuff go. I know she's being taken care of, and I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing that she may have to wait a few minutes. He brings her to kitchen, and she can see him so she knows she's not abandoned.

    If DH looks like he's struggling with something I'll give some advice, but he's got his own system. I don't want it to turn into him not being proactive about her because he's worried I might not want it done that way.
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