Parenting

I am more than a little mad

MIL got into town last night.  She's here until next Thursday (way too long).  While she's here, she insists that DS not go to daycare.  She then lets him run around the house like an idiot with absolutely no structure.  DH works from home and is usually on the phone all day in meetings.  i.e.  she needs to get thefluck out of the house.

DH and I agreed that we would let her drive my car once she got used to it (she thinks it's a huge car for some reason, but it's a Jeep Grand Cherokee, so not huge huge) and I would take his Wrangler to work (sweet!). 

DH let her drive it this morning with him and she got used to it, or whatever.  They get home and she goes back out alone with DS in my car.  Only stays out about an hour, comes back, parks in the garage (after she was told to leave it out) and pulls a bike rack with two bikes on it over on my car!  There are now two huge dents and some scratches in my one year old car.  Awesome.

I understand it was an accident, but she was specifically told to leave the car in the driveway for this very reason.  She is also so over emotional about things, so you can't talk to her normally about it without her getting upset and crying.  Andplusalso, she is now refusing to drive anywhere for fear that she will do further damage to my car.  yay.  I get an over emotional MIL, who smells like old lady perfume, refusing to go anywhere without one of us driving her, sitting in my house for a week.  Yay me.

/vent 

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Re: I am more than a little mad

  • It sucks about your car but I understand why your MIL doesn't want to drive your car anymore. 

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  • Also, have you talked to your MIL about paying for the repairs necessary to your car?

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  • That sounds annoying.  Sorry you have to deal with that mess.
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  • Can she rent a car that she's comfortable with?  Also, no structure with grandparents is kind of the rule, no? 

    Sorry about your car, that sucks.  Maybe your DH could make an alternate plan for work as a compromise?

  • imageCinemaGoddess:
    Also, have you talked to your MIL about paying for the repairs necessary to your car?

    That's where the "you can't talk to her like a normal person because she's so overemotional" comes into play.

    Also, we've told her to get a rental, and even offered to pay for it, time and time again.  She won't, though.

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  • Oh man!  That sounds awful.  I hope she has at least offered to pay for the damage to the car?
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  • imagesofamonkey:

    Can she rent a car that she's comfortable with?  Also, no structure with grandparents is kind of the rule, no? 

    Sorry about your car, that sucks.  Maybe your DH could make an alternate plan for work as a compromise?

    For the most part, yes.  However, she's not very mobile, so DS ends up getting into things/places quicker than she can get to him sometimes.  My kid, with no structure, acts like a rabid monkey on crack.  We've even tried to compromise, suggesting he go to daycare for at least half days while she's here.  She won't have it.

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  • She's probably overly emotional because she KNOWS it will get her what she wants!

    And honestly- if she isn't mobile and you don't feel she provides enough for DS, then send him to daycare.  She can "insist" all she wants but it's not her choice.

    At some point, you need to put what works for your family (you, DH and DS) before her "emotions".  Let her sit in your house all week and watch TV.  Send DS to daycare and call it a day.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • Your kid, your choice if he goes to day care or not. If you feel that is best for your family, do it.
    I'm sorry about your car. That really sucks. Hopefully, after she calms down, you can see if she's willing to pay for the damages.
  • imageargonne:
    imagesofamonkey:

    Can she rent a car that she's comfortable with?  Also, no structure with grandparents is kind of the rule, no? 


    Sorry about your car, that sucks.  Maybe your DH could make an alternate plan for work as a compromise?



    For the most part, yes.  However, she's not very mobile, so DS ends up getting into things/places quicker than she can get to him sometimes.  My kid, with no structure, acts like a rabid monkey on crack.  We've even tried to compromise, suggesting he go to daycare for at least half days while she's here.  She won't have it.

    He's your kid. You can do whatever the fluck you want.

    "Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae

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    M (3/9/02) and E (2/28/12)

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  • Send LO to daycare if she's not able to provide structure or watch him. There's no reason why your house needs to be chaotic if she's visiting for a week. She can spend time with him when he's home from daycare.
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  • imageEastCoastBride:

    She's probably overly emotional because she KNOWS it will get her what she wants!

    And honestly- if she isn't mobile and you don't feel she provides enough for DS, then send him to daycare.  She can "insist" all she wants but it's not her choice.

    At some point, you need to put what works for your family (you, DH and DS) before her "emotions".  Let her sit in your house all week and watch TV.  Send DS to daycare and call it a day.

    You are right and I know it.  The sad/scary thing is, is that she runs an in-home DC.  DH and I always say how thankful we are that we don't live near her, or she would automatically assume she would watch DS.  Umm...no.  

    Sometimes it just seems like the lesser of two evils.  rabid monkey on crack vs. overemo MIL.

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  • imageallidan:
    Send LO to daycare if she's not able to provide structure or watch him. There's no reason why your house needs to be chaotic if she's visiting for a week. She can spend time with him when he's home from daycare.


    This. Could she have him half days, like your DH picks him up at lunch? If this is unsafe, with DS getting into things and your DH unable to work, it isn't working.


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  • imageRondackHiker:
    imageallidan:
    Send LO to daycare if she's not able to provide structure or watch him. There's no reason why your house needs to be chaotic if she's visiting for a week. She can spend time with him when he's home from daycare.
    This. Could she have him half days, like your DH picks him up at lunch? If this is unsafe, with DS getting into things and your DH unable to work, it isn't working.

    I agree and I am going to do this next week while she's here.  He's getting over RSV (another yay me) right now, so he can't go to daycare today or tomorrow, anyhow.

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  • imageReeseFox:
    imageargonne:
    imagesofamonkey:

    Can she rent a car that she's comfortable with?  Also, no structure with grandparents is kind of the rule, no? 

    Sorry about your car, that sucks.  Maybe your DH could make an alternate plan for work as a compromise?

    For the most part, yes.  However, she's not very mobile, so DS ends up getting into things/places quicker than she can get to him sometimes.  My kid, with no structure, acts like a rabid monkey on crack.  We've even tried to compromise, suggesting he go to daycare for at least half days while she's here.  She won't have it.

    He's your kid. You can do whatever the fluck you want.
    Yeah.  That's a little bit different than no structure.  I say send him to daycare, get him (or have her get him) after lunch & make that your compromise.  Or have him there all day. 

    Can your DH take some time from work to spend with them?  Eeek!

  • imageargonne:

    Sometimes it just seems like the lesser of two evils.  rabid monkey on crack vs. overemo MIL.

    Yeah.  It is easier said than done. :)

    FIL REALLY wanted to help w/ our daycare.  REALLY wanted to help.  For numerous reasons, we simply couldn't take him up on his offer.  When DH had to finally basically tell him "no" - it sucked.  Luckily, we didn't have to deal w/ an overly emotional person, but - we jsut weren't comfortable w/ him or MIL watching DS.  But it was hard to tell him. 

    At least in your situation, if your DH works at home- that IS a plausible excuse if you need one. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • imagembenit4:

    imageCinemaGoddess:
    It sucks about your car but I understand why your MIL doesn't want to drive your car anymore. 

    I am sorry this happened.

    If I did this, I would probably be crying still too and I would not want to drive anymore.

    I understand her being upset.  I would be upset, too.  It's just the beligerent stuff like not renting a smaller car, coming whenever she wants for a week at a time, being an emotional trainwreck at the mere mention of DS going to daycare while she's there, etc.  I'm done.  It stresses me out.  It stresses DH out. 

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  • Why don't you just put your foot down and send him to DC?
  • imageargonne:
    imagembenit4:

    imageCinemaGoddess:
    It sucks about your car but I understand why your MIL doesn't want to drive your car anymore. 

    I am sorry this happened.


    If I did this, I would probably be crying still too and I would not want to drive anymore.



    I understand her being upset.  I would be upset, too.  It's just the beligerent stuff like not renting a smaller car, coming whenever she wants for a week at a time, being an emotional trainwreck at the mere mention of DS going to daycare while she's there, etc.  I'm done.  It stresses me out.  It stresses DH out. 



    Say no. She can't come. She can't keep him home if she won't drive. She can cry all she wants, he still goes to daycare


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  • imageEastCoastBride:

    She's probably overly emotional because she KNOWS it will get her what she wants!

    And honestly- if she isn't mobile and you don't feel she provides enough for DS, then send him to daycare.  She can "insist" all she wants but it's not her choice.

    At some point, you need to put what works for your family (you, DH and DS) before her "emotions".  Let her sit in your house all week and watch TV.  Send DS to daycare and call it a day.

    I vote this- or take advantage of the lax gun laws, and get one.

  • If she runs a DC, I'd perhaps use that "against" her.  "You know, MIL, it's really best that we keep DS on his normal schedule.  As a DCP yourself, I'm sure you can understnad the importance of routines with kids his age...."
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • Ohfuck that sounds miserable. You have to be mobile to watch an energetic 2 y/o especially if you have a parent WAH during the day. I think the half days are a good compromise. GL!
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  • He's going to dc on Monday. No if ands or buts.
    Thanks ladies. I just needed to vent.
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  • Yikes. If she's not that mobile, how does she run an in home daycare? Sounds unsafe. She also sounds like a crappy driver so it's probably just as well that she's now uncomfortable driving your car. She sounds like a real treat.
    Nadia Irene 8/13/07 Reid Owen 8/18/09
  • The most important question is: how are the bikes? 
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  • Does she have any craft hobbies? Maybe she can work on a project for him while he's at DC to keep her occupied.
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  • imageKlondikeBar:
    Does she have any craft hobbies? Maybe she can work on a project for him while he's at DC to keep her occupied.

    She sews. Maybe that's the ticket.
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  • imageTunaTown:
    The most important question is: how are the bikes?nbsp;

    Ha. They're fine. Just our steel fixies that we use for tooling around town. Those things are indestructible.
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