another sick family member vent

pathfindermon · December 2012

Well my bil ended up getting sick (it seems like a cold) the night before Christmas Eve. He called out sick to work on Christmas Eve. We were supposed to go to my mil's house on Christmas Eve and they were supposed to come to my houes Christmas day. My bil was at my mil's house the night of 12/23 and was going to be there on Christmas Eve and was going to her house on Christmas morning (so my inlaws would be exposed to him yet again). Well, we didn't go Christmas Eve and asked them not to come here on Christmas day. We didn't want our DS to be around him or my inlaws after they spent so much time with him. Well- all heck has broken loose b/c of this. My mil has called my DH everyday saying that she doesn't understand. She said that it was the worst Christmas ever and that my DH's aunt cried for 20 minutes in Christmas Eve when she found out we weren't going. Did we do the right thing??? My DH and I feel so guilty now- like we ruined everyones Christmas. What would you have done?

Brummy14 · December 2012

Same. My dad came down with the flu, so we missed out on Christmas with my family entirely. And the girls aren't even home yet! But, the nurses told us to not even consider risking it, even though we never considered going an option once we found that out. My dad, who is suuuuper understanding, even made a comment about possibly being over cautious ... there's something about the holidays that even make those who seemingly 'get it' suddenly change their tune a bit. Part of us is thankful the girls didn't make it home by the holidays, so we don't have a string of visitors to...refuse.

mbc2009 · December 2012

You definitely did the right thing! We backed out of Thanksgiving plans with my family because my brother's kids all had runny noses (supposedely all 3 of them were 'teething'). Turns out both my parents got super sick from being around the 'teething' kids all week. We definitely got some flack from family for not coming, but we were right in feeling apprehensive about being around anyone who was sick. Try not to worry, they'll get over it!

Missa_g · December 2012

You did the right thing. We didn't have a big family Thanksgiving because of illness. Did it suck for everyone? Heck yes. Was it worth it? Heck yes.

heaven22tw · December 2012

There is a fine line. For a cold you probably would have been fine. As even hospital rules state as long as they do not have a fever or a known contagious ailment (flu, pertussis, strep etc) and maintain proper handwashing possible a mask if it was that worrisome to you. It is also dependent on your child....how are they developing ( we are lucky w even our Dr ok ing the mall) Our neices had the flu so we were out for being around them but we set up a 3-6 Christmas at the in-laws and then they came over after. I think its important to remember regardless of the situation much like you felt loss in activities bc of NICU etc... your family missed a first Christmas w a niece, grand daughter, great niece...etc. The more you see thier side too the less stressed you will be

katie4253 · December 2012

heaven22tw:
There is a fine line. For a cold you probably would have been fine. As even hospital rules state as long as they do not have a fever or a known contagious ailment (flu, pertussis, strep etc) and maintain proper handwashing possible a mask if it was that worrisome to you. It is also dependent on your child....how are they developing ( we are lucky w even our Dr ok ing the mall) Our neices had the flu so we were out for being around them but we set up a 3-6 Christmas at the in-laws and then they came over after. I think its important to remember regardless of the situation much like you felt loss in activities bc of NICU etc... your family missed a first Christmas w a niece, grand daughter, great niece...etc. The more you see thier side too the less stressed you will be

Her family should have been thinking of the child. Not themselves...period. Sure. It is hard to be disappointed. But, it is RSV season. Adults can carry RSV and have what looks like just a very mild cold.

christine6980 · December 2012

You absolutely did the right thing. We didn't do Christmas at all with out peanut. Just our little family at home by ourselves in pjs! Honestly it was kind of nice not having to lug around a bunch of stuff and go to this house and that house. Our family most certainly understood why we didn't want sick people around our baby. Of course it's almost inevitable that she will get sick because we have a 3 year old in the house that goes to pre 3 and we both work outside of the home, No matter how many times we sanitize it will someone get in our house. Me, peanut and 3 year old all have colds =( We've done everything to prevent it and it's so frustrating, but we are just going to have to ride it out unfortunately!

starrdiva211 · December 2012

It is such a shame that we have to explain how one little cold can turn into a trip to the ER and a stay in the hospital?

DrRx · December 2012

I thought that I had responded to this, but evidently I didn't. I wanted to add that you absolutely did the right thing! If you know that someone is sick, why chance it? I know that we can't keep our children in a bubble, but why risk it when you know for a fact that someone is sick? And, even the people who don't get sick (but are around those who are) can still pass on the virus to the baby. I just don't understand what's the worth of risking it.

I'm sorry that your family is not being very supportive or understanding. ((hugs))

pathfindermon · December 2012

Thank you so much everyone for your support! It has really helped me to feel better about a bad situation. My mil said that she still doesn't understand. My DH and I have decided to sit down with my inlaws and explain that this nonsense and guilt has to stop.

Update on my BIL's "cold"- he still has it and now it's turned into a respiratory thing. THANK GOODNESS we didn't go!

I hope that everyone enjoyed their holidays!!

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